Chapter - 25

He sat by his mum on opening night. He caught sight of Odin's profile beside her, his attention fixed on the stage, his professional hat obviously on, judging by that frown. Thor knew by experience that Odin was never a harsher critic than when he assessed himself or his family. Thor was already cringing in solidarity with Loki, because he could be putting on Citizen Kane and his dad would still find flaw with his work.

The curtain rose to a set with a handcrafted feel Thor liked very much. It had to be done on the cheap of course, with a less is more approach, but it was effortlessly classy. Just like his brother. Loki had rewritten the movie script for the stage, and Thor enjoyed this version, which didn't shy away from everything that worked in the movie, and seamlessly and cleverly translated the rest, without making a big artistic fuss or trying to make a statement of empty originality. Emphasis was on the characters, on the story. It felt as if it had been written by a mature author with a long experience.

At Edward's first appearance, there was a general gasp. The look was amazing, even if his costume was necessarily simpler and plainer than the one in the movie. Loki's face had none of young Johnny Depp's softness or childishness, his appearance a lot more extreme and alien. Loki's Edward was more of a machine, his movements sudden, bird-like, his eyes wide and glassy, like a doll's. He inspired real menace, and an otherness that wasn't sweet at all, acting with his whole body, from his feet to his eyes. His performance stood head and shoulders above everyone else's. He was in a different league.

When Kim, the young blond boy appeared, what in Edward had been perplexity at his new surroundings became quiet fascination, his connection with a human being finally connecting him with the world. And little by little, almost imperceptibly, Edward/Loki's whole demeanour softened up, and whereas he remained a machine until the end, alien, and other, by virtue of the scissors he had instead of hands, Loki managed to convey without a word the point in which Edward had grown a heart and started to feel it beating, and how it would never stop beating, even after the curtain went down.

Thor was crying like a child by that point. He had seen everything Loki had done there, everything. He had seen the lonely outsider, isolated from the common, "healthy" people, misunderstood and less than human, with his scissorhands as the permanent mark of his inhumanity, but also the source of his uniqueness and his talent. He bore his scars from them, but he also created beauty with them. Because of the scissors, some people feared and despised him, others fawned over him, but nobody seemed to be able to see past them. For better and for worse, in the eyes of the world, Edward was his scissorhands. Thor thought of Loki at ten, sat on the psychiatrist's chair, legs dangling because he was so small his feet didn't touch the floor. Of Loki at twelve, kicked around in school for doing ballet. Of the things Loki had been called, both behind his back and to his face, when he returned to high school after his suicide attempt. Of Loki always by himself in the school yard, with his book and his earbuds, since he was little.

Even when Edward was welcomed into a family of "normal" people, he couldn't fit in. They were all golden and healthy, a negative copy of him. It wasn't a place made for him, no matter how hard the mother tried, no matter how kind and warm and generous. He didn't start to belong until Kim, the older son, eventually got to see beyond the otherness and learned to love him, not in spite of his scissorhands and not because of them, but because of Edward's heart. And Thor's own heart had all but stopped when Kim and Edward kissed, a kiss so sweet and warm, Loki's acting so fucking compelling, he had felt a surge of jealousy that had put a knot in his throat. Because Loki was not supposed to kiss anyone like that, eyes closed, breath held, but him. But the most shattering thing of all was that, even if Kim refused to see it, Edward knew that this first kiss was also the last. There was no future for them, no place where they would be accepted.

Thor's tears were streaming down silently and freely by the end, when Edward retreated back into solitude. He loved now, he was as human as he could possibly be, but he was doomed to not be able to live among normal people, his love for Kim impossible, frozen in time, and ever-lasting. He retreated and pushed Kim away, so that he could have a full, normal life, instead of tying himself up to a freak everybody feared and despised, and be forced to live as an outcast too.

Frigga stopped clapping for a second to ruffle her unconsolable son's hair. Thor sniffed and tried to wipe his tears away and clap strongly at the same time. He needed his sleeve for that.

Backstage, make-up on, though the prop hands were off, Loki still looked alien and otherworldly. His eyes brightened up when he saw his family. He smiled at whatever it was that his mum had whispered in his ear while he hugged him, and Thor saw Loki's eyes widen in wonder when it was Odin's mighty embrace he was trapped in. "I'm so proud, son," Odin had mumbled, for his younger child alone.

When it was Thor's turn, he couldn't even speak. Loki worried at his lip, and threw his arms around him.

And still, Thor could not speak.

"It's alright," he heard Loki say, and gasped when Thor crushed him with all his might.

Thor had taken for granted they would all go for a meal to celebrate after the play, but his brother told them timidly that he already had other plans with his mates. Their parents were delighted to hear that. They said goodbye at the stage door, and Thor watched his brother walk away with the rest of the company, giggling and chanting and playfully pushing and shoving each other down the street. And he wanted to be happier for Loki, he wanted it so much, and he was sure he would be, in time, as soon as he could piece his heart back together again. He felt that he had lost him, completely and irretrievably, and that it was actually the best for Loki, to drift away and leave Thor behind. He was just so fucking sad. And he feared that, when the sadness went, nothing would come to replace it.

Weeks later, Thor found out that he had got the part in the big Hollywood adventure flick he had been auditioning for, and spent all summer shooting in the US. Soon there would be two more projects on the line. Just after his eighteenth birthday in the autumn, Thor moved to L.A.

Whenever he called home, he asked for Loki to get on the phone. The conversations were stilted at first, a bit easier eventually. Never too personal, but friendly enough. Loki was always taking the mickey out of him, Hollywood big shot. They bantered and joked and they laughed. It was good, really, even if it didn't quite feel like themselves.

Thor worked hard that year, knocked on lots of doors, met Tony Stark. His first movie opened in December and it was a blockbuster. Suddenly, Thor was hot property. He was on his way.

When he was told that he was going to be presenting an award at the Golden Globes, and that he could bring a plus one, there was only one person Thor wanted by his side. He didn't think twice. Ramifications be damned, he just went for it.

Loki took a few minutes before he replied.

"Don't you have a girlfriend or something you'd like to take instead?" he asked, without any particular inflexion in his voice, as far as Thor could tell.

"This is big," said Thor. And he let it drop, while bracing himself for what Loki would have to say to the outburst of sentiment. "I want my brother with me."

Another silence at the other end of the line.

"Loki?" urged Thor, when he couldn't bloody stand it anymore.

"Yes, alright," said Loki. "I'll come."

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