proking
I'd like to remind that this is entirely my own opinion and only based upon everything up to chapter 9. (Because there weren't more out yet.) Writing Quality: The writing is quite good, no major parts that are unreadable, only slight grammar mistakes. Story Development: I really like the genuine character interactions. They have good comedic timing and feel like actual people are talking with each other. The speed though seems a little too fast, and although it is hard to tell with so few chapters, the characters have no real time to rest and stomach any informations they are given. Character Design: Although the main character is not really a child, he still behaves like it. Which is usually entertaining, of course. Generally, all character interactions are entertaining, just a little bit far apart from each other. I fear, though, that the bad guys so far seem to suffer from extreme brain insufficiency. Which is only based on two scenes though... It is hard to judge if all characters are given care in so little time, especially villains have a hard time to show more than just the evil trait they have if it is in just so little time... Update stability: What's to say? The writer does still write, so good. I guess... World Background: There is a lot, and I mean a lot of exposition. At some times it flows in naturally into a conversation, but just as often is it overwhelming and robs me of immersion. It just comes to show how much love the writer put into developing this world, yet it gives not enough time for the reader to fall in love with it... Summary: I dislike giving judgement so fast. Especially when there is potential to be seen, but not equally distributed to all parts of the story.
I really love the concept of this novel, pain mc suffer in the past made him protective towards his new family in another world. Best thing about this work it's character story and design, the plot makes you get attached this novel instantly. I really love this work. there is only one request form my heart, please don't kill mc mom. I love her... Your sincere reader trash_monal
So I finished everything to chapter 8. I like the world-building you made in this new world, and chapter 1 I assume the characters that were introduced, such as the reporter and the killer, perhaps even the wife, are foreshadowing the characters in the new world that would be reincarnated. This is all nice and refreshing, and I'm someone who's read lots of system based work. (Solo Leveling, The Strongest System, etc) so It's sort of hard for me to comment on a starting system work. I can follow along to the ideas you've established, and I like how there's twists with your ideas. In this case, the mc using his past life's martial arts skills to overpower someone with higher cultivation with technique. I've also been planning to use the same concept in my book later on with character's development, so this idea I really like. Things you need to work on more: Although grammar is fine for the majority, there's some capitalization errors in every chapter that I think you can go back on and look. I feel like your character interactions have been fine and realistic, but the execution could be polished some more (recommend doing some research for this part). There's a few wording errors as well but not enough to be alarming, just be more careful regarding word usage. Some words are spelled right but in the incorrect form so the meaning changes, making the sentence incorrect. I'd suggest working on polishing early chapters to attract more readers in. Maybe you can find an editor to help you fix those errors, since your ideas are fine but just requiring more practice on how to execute them well. I'm hoping your system will also have stuff that makes it unique compared to the common genre.
The book has a good framing for the era and the storyline is well thought out. However a lot of it is just brain dumped directly on you in the very beginning rather how it is in real life, a more natural progression like peeling back the layers of an onion. The characters that get introduced do seem to have their own personality but they feel a bit stiff in nature especially around descriptions and conversations which are have common fillers or are very "go here, take this, do that"-esque. Some tend to be somewhat unnatural for the settings where talking about other characters in relation to the MC. Overall, I have enjoyed the story so far and look forward to seeing what gets written next!