3

In the distance, I hear the noises of things moving. I close my eyes tighter, with the silly idea that the noise will disappear, and I will be able to sleep more. Who am I kidding? I know I won't be able to sleep anymore. With a slight sigh, I got out of bed and looked around. The smell of freshly brewed coffee is so penetrating that it wakes me up. Oh heck... Levi is awake.

I slowly approached the kitchen, knowing that sooner or later I would have to face him. Is my brother that terrible? No, but he is the male version of our mother, so I know the inquisition I will go through.

"What time did you get in last night?" is the first thing he asks me without even looking at me.

"I arrived late at night," I replied, trying not to shake my voice. "You know how concerts are."

The silence is killing me. When he doesn't answer me, it's because he's simply concentrating on what he's doing or looking for the words to scold me. Different scenarios are running in my mind, each worse than the other.

"Call next time so I don't worry," is all he says to me.

Wait... what just happened? Levi tells me to call him next time... or I'm still sleeping. It's the calm before the storm. But I must not waste this opportunity.

"What time did you get in?" I asked, trying to deflect the topic as much as possible.

"I had an unscheduled emergency surgery," he answers me seriously. "He didn't make it, so I had to carry out the whole post-op process and inform the family members."

It's not the first time he has lost a patient on the operating table, and I know it won't be the last. But it doesn't stop affecting him that he can't save a life, even though surgery is not always the solution.

I slowly approached him. The migraine I have still lingers, but I know it is nothing compared to the emotional weight he is feeling right now. I simply hugged him from behind, standing on tiptoe to try to reach his shoulder. Words are superfluous at that moment, and the only thing that can be heard is the sound of the coffee pot. I feel his hand resting on mine and patting me lightly. The message has been received and accepted.

"Do you have any migraine pills?" I asked him as I set the table.

"Did you drink anything last night?" he asks seriously, looking at me sideways.

"On a workday, of course not," and it's true; there wasn't a drop of alcohol in my system. "It was just that the sound was too loud, and now my head hurts."

I wouldn't tell him the real reason for my migraine. I value my life and the lives of others. Levi, without saying anything else to me, goes and gets a migraine pill and gives it to me with a glass of water. Obviously, he won't let me take a pill with coffee.

The morning passed quietly. Being Sunday, we rarely leave the house unless it is necessary. So, we decided to play a video game to kill the boredom of the moment. I wanted to take this opportunity to clear my mind of the decision I have to make. Unfortunately, I am not succeeding because I lose every round easily against my brother.

"Is something bothering you?" he asks me without looking away from the TV. "You suck at this video game, but today you're even worse than usual."

Ouch, that really hurt. I'm not good at this video game; I'm more into strategy games versus the first-person game we're playing right now, which is Levi's specialty. We always joke that if he hadn't decided on the medical field, he would be in the military.

"It's nothing; it's just that my mind is somewhere else."

"As long as you don't tell me that you fell in love with one of the guys you saw at the concert..."

"Are you crazy?" I hate his sense of humor. "That will never happen."

We both fell silent after this ridiculous dispute, and I decided to focus on the game. Worrying too much won't make the problems go away or magically have the answer. I will enjoy this moment.

I was blissfully unaware that someone else was having a mental turmoil over the same thing.

Levi didn't have any emergency calls today, so he stayed home resting. His mood is a little better after what happened the day before. After playing for a while and ordering food for lunch, I told him to go rest, and I would take care of the chores. So, he's been asleep in his room for a while now.

I start to get ready to do all the chores around the house and put on some music (of course, I like to do the chores with some music). But I remember that Levi wakes up at the slightest noise, so I decided to put on my headphones and play music on my cell phone. Everything was going great until the song that came on was Für Sie... heck, I don't know how, but Schmarë's songs started playing. Well, I don't lose anything by listening to a couple of songs. It's not like I'm going to decide to accept his proposal based on that.

Five songs later, I had to put the chores aside. Wow, their songs are catchy, and the ones I was listening to were not the ones they sang at the concert, so it was something new to me... What am I doing? I decided to remove those songs and put them on a playlist to clear my mind. My favorite playlist includes nature sounds, especially of the sea, rain, and forest. I know, I'm not normal, but it's something that brings calmness to me, especially as the release dates approach.

Speaking of publishing, my mind begins to wander to this week's agenda. I know a couple of books are a few days away from publication, so I will have to check them again. I stop mid-plate to wash up. I'm not supposed to be thinking about work either! I let out a sigh. I'm overthinking, and it doesn't help me at all.

I finish doing the chores and leave the food ready to be reheated. Having a very complicated schedule, my brother and I get used to eating at any time. And from the yawns I've been giving, I know I'm still tired. So, I decided to go to my room to sleep. Tomorrow I will have to think about the decision to take because I know they will be waiting for an answer from me.