Five Love Languages

Some guy came up with this awesome boiled down concept called "the five love languages" (Gary Chapman is his name). I heard about it as a young teenager and to this day it has been probably the best advice and insight in any relationship. It particularly applies to marriage and being able to show love in a more intimate way.

The five are: physical touch, quality time, gift giving, words of affirmation, and acts of service. Although a person is typically thought to have one, I personally believe and have seen that people usually have a primary and secondary love language. It's not to mean that they cannot feel or express love in any other, it just means that those are the typically most meaningful ones. For example, my two are quality time and physical touch. Sometimes when my husband compliments me (words of affirmation), I feel very loved as if he hugged me.

The main reason for why it is good to know and understand your partner's love languages is so you can better express love to them. By understanding yours, you can better explain what means the most to you. This is especially important when you and your spouse have different love languages. Tension may arise when you have been doing something to express love and it doesn't seem to have any affect, and vice versa. You can spend months and even years stuck in cycles of misunderstanding or sadness.

Of course this won't fix all your problems, but it definitely helps with the first steps and to build deep connection with your spouse. I'll probably get back to this more later, but for now that sums it up.