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Make Love, Not Warcraft: Game of Thrones

The man who inspired the antagonist in South Parks "Make Love, Not Warcraft" episodes dies under mysterious circumstances. Upon death he was met with a ROB who he finds out is the reason for his death. The ROB had enjoyed the man's real life antics as well as the attempted backlash his character suffered in the game. Offering to grant him his in game character and allowing him to keep his gear and all his in game hard work in exchange for his memories of his past life only allowing him to keep his in game knowledge, Cyrus Anders readily accepted with no hesitation. He didn't care what world he was going to be sent to, or of his life he just lived. He was about to live the life he always dreamed of, becoming a real life gamer. If you want to support me and my work you van donate on cash app $Sykocyrus

Sykocyrus · Book&Literature
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61 Chs

Chapter 23

Back in Dorne, Oberyn Martell also known as the Red Viper of Dorne, was laying with his paramour Ellaria Sand and enjoyed these moments after a few rounds of passionate battles with his love. He was able to think clearest after such rigorous activities, and right now there was so much on his mind.

Even in Dorne the rumors of a few skilled warriors appearing in the north, one of a dwarf Pirate King named Leeroy Jenkins and of the second born of House Stark, Cyrus Stark a warrior magician of death and life as the stories are told. He wasn't too interested in the dwarf, a pirate is just a pirate in the end. Sure they can be skilled and battle hardened but most notorious pirates were more hype than not in his experience. It was the Stark who interests him and has taken up his thoughts much of late.

He was growing tired of waiting on his brother Doran, the current head of House Martell, and his scheme for their revenge. He felt it was the right time, he had heard whispers of the Lannisters setting their sights on the wolves in the north and he wanted to sow discord and pit wolf against lion so that they could join the wolf and finally have their revenge on the lion.

Since the death of their sister Elia Martell and their niece and nephew, both brothers have had nothing but revenge on their minds but that's as far as their similarities went. Doran wished to ally with Viserys who was exiled across the Narrow Sea. He planned to wed his eldest daughter Arianne to Viserys and when he returned to claim his rightful place on the Iron Throne, the realm would have a Dornish Queen once more.

Oberyn felt it would take too long, he knew his brother's dislike for the Starks. They were part of the rebellion, and Dorne lost much in Robert's Rebellion. Not only was Elia and her children brutally murdered even though they themselves were hostages of the king to keep Dorne from rebelling alongside the others, they also lost their uncle Lewyn along with ten thousand men alongside Rhaegar at the Trident. Half their forces.

Oberyn knew it was the reason his eldest brother was playing such a drawn out game, he was for it too but after hearing the rumors in the north of the 'War Wolf' he felt all he needed to do was head to Kings Landing now. He felt there would be an opportunity to get revenge thru the Starks. He didn't share the dislike of his brother for the Starks.

He knew they had nothing to do with his sister and her children's deaths, he knew exactly who was responsible for that. Sure Eddard was there at the Trident and Dorne lost much there, but he understood that's what happened in wars. They were Dornish warriors and were ready to die if necessary, but his sister and children were innocent and didn't deserve the deaths inflicted upon them.

All of the south knew the luck of the wolves as soon as they were south of the neck when not fighting. Unless they were moving south for war they never lived very long, that was the weakness of the wolf. They weren't accustomed to the politics of the south and were too honorable for their own good, many times finding a blade in their back such as Rickard Stark.

Rickard Stark trusted the word of the king that he was going to allow him to ransom his son Brandon, thus rather than raising the armies of the North and rescuing his son he came alone and was executed upon arrival in front of the Mad King. Their own honor was their greatest weakness.

Oberyn felt he just needed to wait in Kings Landing and let nature take its course, then join the Starks and use the Lannisters and the Mountain as his payment.

"I know that look my love, what are you up to now?" Ellaria asks seductively as she cuddles deeper into his arms as she looks at him with a smile.

After being brought out of his thoughts of his last conversation with his brother by her question he looks at her, and takes a moment to take in her beauty before answering.

"I plan to head to Kings Landing, King Robert is in the North to retrieve his new Hand. I figured there is a high chance that the 'War' pup would be joining his father. I hear he is quite handsome so thought I'd take a look, maybe we could have some fun with him. What do you think?" he replied back with a twinkle in his eye.

Giving him a chuckle she replied, "Sure, I wouldn't mind. But why aren't you telling all your plans my love, I know there is much more to it than that." Showing a look of sadness during the last part to tease him.

Seeing her reaction and playfulness he couldn't help but laugh and give her a tight hug.

"You know me so well my love. Yes I do wish to get a measure of the young lad, but I also see something my brother refuses to see. He is so focused on that damn throne he is blinded to quicker results. He wants another Dornish queen on that throne, that throne has cost us too much already. Let them have the damn thing, I just want Tywin and the Mountain and the Starks can get me what I want much quicker. If anything I can instigate a fight between their houses if that whore of a queen doesn't do it for us, we know she isn't the most intelligent." He truthfully told her what was exactly on his mind.

He trusted her completely, not only did he know he could trust her with telling her any and all his plans, he knew she would put forth all her effort to support and do her share. Like him, his paramour and daughters were well versed in poisons and battle. They were nicknamed the Sand Snakes because of it.

"Oh, so your brother continues to do nothing and only focuses on the dragon still?" Having real anger this time around laced in her voice.

Many in Dorne were unhappy with Doran, it wasn't due to him being crippled with gout keeping him wheelchair bound most of the time. It was for his inaction over so many years, he hasn't made any attempts of any kind of compensation or justice for what the Lannisters did.

All he did was keep the peace, many in Dorne understood it in the beginning. They had lost half their army after all and normally it would definitely hurt a realm but it was still only half, what hurt them was that it was the best half of their forces. So even though the numbers were half the army, in reality it was three quarters of their military strength that was lost.

They expected to build back their strength before demanding justice, but even as most of the military strength was returned over the years Doran remained silent. Dorne was restless as was Oberyn, the Dornish siblings were close. Oberyn especially so with his older sister Elia, she did spoil him much since he was the youngest.

He had to be detained and was exiled for a time to Essos after he had learned of his sister and children's fate. He was infuriated, he was going to march what was left of the army and kill every last one of them but was stopped by Doran and was exiled until he could cool off.

During his exile he had honed his craft, mastered the use in making and using poisons and fought in the pits. Revenge his motivator to improve, he wanted them to suffer for what they did to his kind and caring sister.

It was a rage as hot as the desert sands in the middle of the day, threatening to turn the sand to glass. He very quickly made the name Red Viper of Dorne due to his use of poison and his amazing dance of death his fighting style became after he had honed it to perfection.

He was agile and slippery, able to slither around his opponents, avoiding their attacks and striking in their blind spots and openings. All it took was a scratch and you would be dead, his poisons were of the most deadly kind.

After he returned he has tried to remain patient but that patience has worn thin. He tried to get his brother on board with his idea, and even tried to use the fact he could possibly get his condition healed in the process. So much could be gained from an alliance with the North.

No matter what you say about the North, they win wars. They held off the Andel Invasion the longest while the south was conquered.

Oberyn trusted a Northerner army over a Dothraki army, he spent time in Essos and knew the Dothraki well. They have never crossed the Narrow Sea, he felt the Spider and his brother were putting too much faith in the Dothraki.

They were great warriors no doubt, but it's in their culture to stay away from the Sea, poisoned water they called it. Even though the area they lived in was called the Dothraki Sea they didn't have a sea of water, it was grassland plains. Large swaths of grass plains as far as you can see, like looking out into the ocean. They knew nothing of sailing, and transporting the army and their horses would be no easy task, Dothraki have no sea legs.

Even if they made it across, the Iron throne would just have to attack their position right away before they could recover from the journey and they wouldn't stand a chance.

"So when do we leave, love and do we bring our daughters or will it just be the two of us?" Ellaria asked.

After pondering a moment he replied, "If they wish to join I don't see why not, things are about to get interesting and I'm sure they are curious about the young Stark."

Hearing his comment Ellaria's face brightened after a thought.

"I hope that pup is ready for our girls, I can't wait to see how he handles them."

Oberyn froze at the thought then burst into laughter at the thought, interesting indeed.