C-h-a-p-t-e-r: 1

"Cutted herself on her left arm deeply with a sharp blade"

Ahhh

"Breathes out"

Finally I'm able to breathe now... where's the wipes....

"Open the bathroom cabinet"

Here they are.....ugh it's been 7 months since I'm doing selfharm, I never thought that ( I ) would ever do it, but here I am doing it anyways..

" Madison said to herself while wiping the blood off from her arm"

I mean it helps me to breathe, reduce my anxiety for some while but I can't wear my favourite clothes and have to be aware 24 hours so that noone would see my cuts, ugh I wish....

"Before she could complete her sentence in her mind, her mom started knocking on the bathroom door"

Madison it's been more then 40 minutes, are you okay in there?

Yeah mom, I'm fine, just few more minutes..

Okay honey..

"Madison throwed blooded wipes into the bathroom bin, washed her hands which was also covered in blood, after washing them she put the blade into her jeans pocket and then pulled down her sleeves and opened the door and saw her mom cleaning her room for her"

Honey have you eat your breakfast yet? Your school bus is gonna be here any minute..

Nope I haven't and I don't even want to eat cause I'm not hungry actually..

Why honey?

I--

"Before Madison could say anything her school bus arrived ( bus horn)"

See honey I told you.

"Madison grabbed her school bag and said before Leaving"

It's okay mom, I'll eat something at school don't worry. See you after school bye.

Okay honey, see you after school take care, love you..

Love you too mom.

"And then went....When she got in-to the bus her friend (Grace) waved at Madison to come and sit with her (They usually sit together) Madison went towards where she was sitting and then sat right next to her as usual and then they both started talking with each-other, after 26 minutes they arrived at school and went towards their lockers,while walking towards their lockers their friend (Conner) joined them"

Hey girls!

Hey Conner...

"Both Madison and Grace Said"

Oh shoot, i'm getting late for class, see you girls at lunch, bye.

"And then he left for class, after getting things from their lockers madison and grace went to their class too. After taking half of their classes it was now lunch break, when madison went to the cafeteria after her math class for lunch, conner and grace was already there waiting for madison to come and join them so madison went towards the table they were sitting on"

Hey guys, what's up!

Finally you're here girll!!!

"Grace said to madison"

It felt like it has been ages since i'm waiting for you...

"Conner said to madison"

Don't be too dramatic mann...

'Madison said to conner while rolling her eyes"

So what do you guys wanna eat today?

"Conner asked to madison and Grace"

I don't wanna eat any-thing, i've already eat so much in breakfast, i'm soo full right now..

'Madison said to Conner"

Hey! Hey! Heyy!!! I'm giving treat Madison!

"Conner said"

For What?

"Grace Asked conner"

I got selected into school soccer team!!!

"Conner said in excitement"

Why didn't you tell me before???

"Grace said to conner while being happy for him"

I was waiting for madison to come, cause i wanted to tell my both budds together..

"Conner said to Madison and Grace"

Well dammnnn boyyy, congratulations!

"Madison said to Conner"

Yeah boyy congratulations!

"Grace said to conner"

So, tell me what do you guys want to eat??

"Conner asked Madison and Grace"

Seriously conner i am sooo full right now, give me treat some other day..

"Madison said to conner"

Okayy mam, as you want....so! what do you want Grace?

"Conner said"

Aahhmmmm I'll have chocolate ice-cream.

"Grace said to conner"

Okay, let me go and get you that, by the way madison are you sure you don't want any-thing right now?

"After saying that to grace, Conner asked Madison again just to irritate her (Who doesn't love to irritate their budd? of course every-one does)"

Yeah later, now gooo...

"Madison said to Conner while being irritated. After few minutes of taking with each-other "bell rang" and they went to their classes, and after madison attended her last class she went to her locker to put something in it, where she met grace ( their lockers are together )"

Are you ready to go home girl?

"Grace asked madison"

Noo... i'm not going, i have some work in the school library, so conner will drop me after his soccer practice.

Okay girl..well i'm going now i don't wanna miss my bus..

Yeah go, bye..

byee..

" Madison went to library to do some work and after 2 hours at 5pm madison called conner, after 4 rings he picked up"

Hey! does your soccer practice has ended?

Yeah, Why?

Can you drop me home?

Yeah sure! where are you?

At school library!

Okay, meet me at the parking lot in 10 minutes, i'll be waiting for you there.

Okay.

" They met at the parking lot after few minutes and then conner dropped madison her home on the way to his home, madison thanked conner for dropping her and then went inside"

Momm i'm homee....

"Madison looked on the table, there was note written by her mom, that she'll be home late"

Okayy mom..

"She then went to her room and put out her blade from her jeans pocket, and then pulled her left arm sleeve up and stated cutting herself deeply while crying, until her arm was covered with deep cuts and blood"

Ugh i miss you dad, i'm sooo bad i didn't even get to say goodbye to you just because..

"MADISON, MADISON HONEY I"M HOME..her mom shouted. Madison wiped off her tears, hide the blooded blade and pulled down her sleeve without cleaning the blood and because she didn't cleaned the blood her sleeve got blood on them so she wore a black sweater (yeah in summer) and opened the door lock"

Hey mom! weren't you supposed to come late today?

Yeah but i ended my work early..

Oh okay, that's.. great! how was your day?

It was soo bad honey, yours?

Mine was good, why was it bad?

Forget it, come in the kitchen in 5 minutes i got food from your favourite restaurant.

Okay, Thanks mom.

"And then her mom went down stairs into the kitchen and Madison went back to her room and locked the door, take off her sweater and luckily her sweater wasn't covered in blood but her left sleeve was full of blood"

Dang it, now i have to wash it myself...

"She took her blooded shirt off, washed it and hanged it in the bathroom (obviously cause she didn't want her mom to see it) and cleaned her blooded blade too and after cleaning the blade she hide it, then wore her nighty and went down stairs for dinner"

Yayy mom you got my favourite food!!!

Yeah honey, i told just few minutes ago...remember?

Oh yeah....I forgot!!

It's okay honey, come lets eat now..

"Madison finished her dinner and was about to go to her room"

Honey, have you finish your homework yet?

I didn't got homework today

Okay honey

I'm gonna go and sleep now..

Okay, good night honey..

Good night mom.

"Madison went to bed and after a while she stated to have PTSD attack, she started to see flashbacks more then usual, reminding her of every detail from one of her traumatic past event, including hearing words her abusers has said to her like (You deserve to die, why are still alive?, It would be great if you'll be dead, Loser, Idiot, Shameless) ect, ect, while having PTSD attack she was soo scared that she closed her eyes soo hard and with PTSD attack, panic attack started too, her heart beat got faster and faster every second, she was sweating like she just got of shower but felt cold as if she was in the snow, madison keep mumbling"

Shut up, Shut upp....No, no i'm not, shut up, shut uppppp...

"After 25 minutes both attacks ended"

Ugh it was bad, goshhh! i want sleeping pills, i don't have any so i have to go and get my mom's..

"She went sneaking through her mom's room and got one sleeping pill from her medicine box, took it with water then went back to her room and slept, after 2 hours she started to have a nightmare and while having a nightmare she started having anxiety attack in her sleep too and after few minutes she woke up from her nightmare, heartbeat fast, shaking and (obviously) anxious as hell"

IT was bad as HELLL!!!!! where's my phone...

"Checked her phone"

Gosh it's 2:30am! should i go back to sleep?

"She closed her eyes and then opened it"

Nope, i'm not gonna sleep, i don't wanna have another nightmare..