Chapter 8
"Are you sure you don't want me to accompany you, Madam?" Arthur offered as he got worried by his Madam's behavior. "I can sleep in the guest room, or if you're uncomfortable, I can just stand outside. You can always call me if you need anything."
"No need," Winter rejected. "I need my time alone, Arthur. Don't worry about me. I'm not in the mood to jump out from the balcony tonight."
"Don't say that, Madam!" Arthur exclaimed. "Please don't say such scary words. You're going to make me restless!"
Winter gave a thin smile, seeing the genuine worry on Arthur's face. "I'm just joking. Besides, I have something I want to do, so I won't die easily."
Winter's words made him even more worried. "Madam, are you really, absolutely, certainly sure that you're okay?"
"I am really, absolutely, certainly sure that I'll be okay. Now stop fussing and go home. I know you're tired."
"… call me if you need anything, Madam. Good night," Arthur said before he closed the door and left.
"He's so cute," Winter chuckled before she walked to the foyer of the penthouse.
She clapped her hands once, and the light in the foyer automatically turned on. Standing in silence, Winter recalled all her beautiful memories with Aiden.
She remembered how Aiden bought her this penthouse as a wedding gift. It was an asset, as well as their love nest, where they spent their four years of marriage.
Winter traced her finger over the rows of framed pictures on the table in the living room. These pictures proved that she once married a man named Aiden, the man who always treated her right.
The man who wouldn't push her to the point of committing suicide.
"Still as handsome as usual," Winter smiled as she caressed Aiden's face in the picture.
Aiden had a kind smile and never lost it, even during hard times. He always kept his head high and protected Winter from any harm.
"I was very dependent on you, Aiden," Winter muttered. "Maybe I shouldn't have relied on you too much. Now that you're gone, I got lost and was tricked by that scum and his mother."
Winter sighed as she placed the framed picture on the table.
She liked things this way—full of her memory with Aiden.
In her previous life, Sebastian and Camilla moved into this penthouse because it was so close to his office. However, once they moved in, Camilla began replacing all traces of Winter-Aiden's pictures with her photos and trinkets.
In the end, Winter was left with no choice but to store away all memories of her previous marriage, including pictures of her and Aiden.
"It's better this way. I don't want anything to change because this is Aiden and my love nest," Winter told herself. "So I have to say no when that overbearing mother-in-law is trying to pressure me into replacing everything."
Winter turned around and walked to the balcony.
She opened the balcony door and walked to the railing.
Winter closed her eyes, letting the cold wind sweep through her hair. It was the same feeling that she felt when she was about to jump.
She touched her stomach, her hand trembling upon realizing it was flat.
She had done this at least five times for the whole night after her rebirth, but she still couldn't make peace with the fact that she lost her baby for the third time.
'Maybe I'm destined to never have a child in my life. Because there is no way I'd do it with Sebastian or marry another man after this,' Winter told herself. 'Maybe I deserve to be alone because even if I give birth to Sebastian's baby, there's no guarantee that Camilla or Sebastian would let him live. I'm too weak to protect my child.'
Winter retreated into her room after a while. She stood silently, staring at the master bedroom that hadn't changed since Aiden's death.
The big framed picture of her wedding with Aiden was still hanging on the wall, and much of his stuff was left untouched, including Aiden's favorite goose-shaped pillow that he used every day.
With a tender smile, Winter grabbed the goose pillow and smelled it. "Still smells like you, darling."
"Do you remember how much we laughed at this goose pillow? You told me you grew up on a farm, and the geese were your only friends. So this goose pillow was also your best friend. You even have a name for it. Gus, didn't you?" Winter reminisced, poking the goose's beak. "You're my best friend now, Gus."
She remembered how Camilla had discarded everything in this master bedroom, including the goose pillow because it didn't fit her aesthetic.
Now that she had Gus back, she hugged it tight and threw herself on the bed.
She buried her face into the pillow as she could still smell Aiden's scent on it. She felt warmth and safety with his scent lingering around her, but she knew it was only temporary.
Because the world outside was cold and cruel to her.
"I miss you so much, husband…"