28. Accept

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Sometimes your heart needs more time

to accept what your mind already knows

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I was lost.

Funny how I protect the city at night and don't even recall where I'm at.

I left the bench 20 minutes ago and walked in a direction I thought was probably the way home but only led me through an alleyway to another alleyway and to another street I couldn't remember.

My phone ran out of charge, and it wasn't like anyone answered.

I walked around the street for 10 more minutes holding myself to keep warm, only to hide under a small ledge to keep myself dry. I stopped crying a while ago knowing that wasn't going to help, up until now that is.

I knew I had to wait till morning to call someone to pick me up or walk further to see if there were any cabs around at this hour.

I felt completely hopeless as I let myself fall to the ground holding my knees to my chest.

I sat and wondered how chaotic my life has been since I moved back to Paris months ago, how everyone soon began to expect things from me as soon as I returned. Adrien with thinking everything is back to the way it was a year ago, how my friends ask me for favors and I deny knowing I don't have to if it's a favor, the only thing that seemed normal was Anthony and I together. When he was here, I felt so at ease in our own world.

I miss him...

I missed his touch and warmth... boy do I really need it now.

Too deep in thought I hadn't noticed the small droplets above me stop and someone standing over me drenched in their clothing.

I look up to only see Adrien covering me with his arms and his tear-stained cheeks.

"I thought you wouldn't want to be interrupted in your train of thoughts...," he whispered and bent down to my level.

Adrien reached out to me and gave me a warm smile "look at you, your clothes are soaked, you might catch a cold," he wiped my face softly with his hand and sniffed back a tear.

"You should've just gone back into the building," he sighed "you stayed out for so long you could even have a fever by this point...," I can hear his voice break.

"What would happen if something like that happens hm?... Here," he pushed a piece of hair behind my ear and took a deep breath "I'm sorry for this, I'm sorry," I stayed silent.

"Come on let's go, my apartment isn't that far from here," he coughed lightly "of course I'll take you home as soon as you get dry, okay?"

"Here I can carry you until we reach my car," Adrien turned his back to me.

I was too tired to even think properly, and I was in mental and physical pain and last thing I wanted was to stay outside in the rain in the dark street. I slowly get on Adrien's back and soon he stands up before running to some direction I couldn't recall.

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We now sat in his car in silence as he drove us to his apartment.

I wasn't going to question anything about early unless he brings it up and guessing from before Adrien ran away from home and is living on his own for a while.

"Is it warm in here?" Adrien asked.

"Yeah," I whispered.

"Marinette... I'm so sorry for everything that happened," He mumbled.

"I know," I sighed.

Before we can continue our conversation, we parked in front of a large building.

Adrien quickly gets off and runs to the other side of the car opening my door, he holds out his hand for me to take and I reach out.

"As soon as you dry up, I'll take you and explain everything to your parents so don't worry, have you called them yet?"

"Phone died," I mumbled and looked away from him as we began to walk towards his apartment building as he held onto my body.

I hate having him helping me in my current situation and I felt embarrassed as he held onto my waist thinking I couldn't walk by myself, I knew I should be grateful that he is helping me, but let's be honest his girlfriend or maybe ex caused this entire situation for me. I know Adrien didn't intend for all of this to happen, but he could've taken it privately with Kagami, for example move to his car that he had in parking lot, inside a room in the building we were besides, not outside. However, I can't blame him for everything, I let my emotions cloud my judgment and ran into a street I thought I knew in the dark and basically walk around without remembering my way back, I could've just stayed inside the building in a room if I just thought correctly.

I wanted to ask him about Kagami, if he took her home before coming to me.

If he was okay?

If she made more accusations towards me, or if she told him about my feelings.

I wanted to ask so many questions but knew it wasn't the time until he wanted to clear everything out.

I guess while I was thinking he has already led me into his apartment living room.

"Uhm sorry if there's a mess here my roommates can't really take care of himself," Adrien left my side as he began to pick up wrappers and cans from across the living room.

"Uhm is your roommate here right now?" I mumbled "I just don't want to make so much noise just in case he was."

Adrien looks up at me as he picked up the last piece of trash he could find "don't worry about that my roommate barley comes to the apartment, he won't be coming until maybe uhm- next week?" he guessed.

"Next week? Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes? I- I mean y-yes.. Yes I am sure," he stuttered.

"Uhm let me go get you a pair of dry clothes and a towel," Adrien quickly walks away and returns with a pile of clothes and a towel before he places, his arm on my back leading me to what I think is his bathroom.

"You can take as long as you want, there's shampoo, bodywash, and conditioner, if anything happens you can call out to me- I mean if it's a major emergency- just call out to my name," He blushed nervously "I'll be in the living room, I'll put the heater on," Adrien walked away as I entered the restroom.

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I dressed myself in what was offered to me.

I look at myself in the mirror and see how everything basically fits me a but larger than expected, but then again Adrien is a 6ft plus male model.

As I reach for the doorknob, I felt my heart begin to beat fast due to my nerves.

I felt like as soon as I open this door I felt like Adrien, and I would be having a very long conversation.

ADRIEN'S POV

Before I can run after Marinette Kagami grabbed my hand.

"Let go of me Kagami!" I yelped.

"Why? So, you can go run into that skanks arms like you've probably been doing?!" I turn to astonished at her insult.

"Are you serious right now?"

"What you think I don't know-."

"Know what?" I screamed as I got into her face "what is going on in your head? Do you seriously think Marinette would do something like that to you? Do you think she's been flirting with me or even think that she has feelings for me?"

Kagami glared at me as she began to pace around as I feel tears running down my face.

"Do you honestly think I would disrespect you by cheating on you? Seriously? I literally always do what you demand me to do! I never spend time with my friends because I always spend it with you! I am near you almost 24/7 I met your mom and very important people for you, I go model and listen to my father for you, I did it all for you! Even after you manipulated me and hurt me countless of times," I cried.

"After even insulting my friends and insulting the people I cared for, even when you made jabs at Marinette, I stayed with you... I stayed with you because... because I honestly thought you loved me and I thought- thought I loved you too," I sighed and rubbed my head.

"What are you saying Adrien?"

I stay quiet and look down at the ground ashamed of myself.

"I am so sorry Kagami, I'm so.... Sorry," I cried softly.

"W-What?" she stuttered.

"I d-don't," I coughed "love you."

Kagami quickly grabs my hand and holds onto it "n-no you love me, y-you do, Adrien, you do love me,"

I shook my head as she tried to touch my cheek "Adrien."

Kagami soon began to cry "Kagami don't, I really don't," I shook my head as tears ran down my eyes.

"Then- then look at me and tell me!"

I shake my head as more tears run down my face; I am so horrible.

"Just look at me and tell me Adrien!!"

"I'm sorry..."

"Say it! Say that you don't love me in my face!" She pushed at my chest as I try to gain courage and look up to her.

"Kagami I don't love you," I mumbled as I looked into her eyes.

"What about these past 2 years huh? What about all our time we spent together? Did that mean nothing to you?" she asked.

"You said you loved me! Was that all a lie? Was it all a game for- "she began to yell louder.

"Don't! Don't even start with that crap of guilt tripping me Kagami, every moment was precious to me, I spent this entire time trying to fix things with you time and time again, but you make it so hard sometimes. You would make me feel like my emotions didn't matter or even existed, you always shut me up when I would try to express myself-."

"Because you are so exaggerated-."

"Would you like it if You tried to express yourself, but I just dismiss everything you say, I don't hear you out, I say Your feelings aren't valid, that you are being extra, and You are going through a tough time with your mental health and imagine me just pushing you down time and time again? How would you feel? Imagine that for how long we've been together, don't you think that reason is enough to break up with someone that says they love you, but you don't think they genuinely mean it?" I wiped my tears and stare at her.

"And I can't say it's just you because it's not, I lied, I lied about loving you and lied that we would be together forever, I thought those were my true feelings," I sighed.

"You think your dad will be okay with this?" Kagami mumble.

"I don't care-," Kagami laughed.

"Please we both know you care about his opinion more than anything in the world," she cut me off.

"Not anymore, not when I realized he cared more about his image than about my personal feelings, not when he treats me like complete shit."

It went silent as I noticed that it began to drizzle, and I turn around and begin to run away from Kagami.

"You're going to her right?" Kagami screamed lightly as I keep my back to her "you like her, don't you?"

I stay quiet and nod "yeah," I mumbled.

"Well, she doesn't... Marinette will never love you, you think she will pay attention to you when she has that guy friend of hers, do you honestly think she will pick you after everything?"

"I don't expect her to have feelings for me, I won't expect her to feel the same way because that is not how it is, just because I fell in love with her doesn't mean that she will automatically fall in love with me as well, I will deal with my feelings on my own, whether I have the courage to tell her or I completely forget about her is up to me, and has nothing to do with you. I can't be here any longer knowing Marinette is out there cold or lost due to the rain, just please Kagami... please let me go...," I begged.

Everything that has happened, everything I have been through with Kagami, with our happy moments, loving moments, sad moments, it was the end of it all.

After everything, I just can't look at her the same... to even try... to look her in her eyes and lie to her more than I already have...

Not anymore... I can no longer do this to myself or to her...

No more lies...

No more heartbreak...

No more Kagami.

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OOP Hey babes!! How are you all today? I am great after finishing up this chapter literally right now😊!!

So how do we feel about this chapter?

I have missed you all!! Stay tuned for the next update Loves!! Also this will be the knee lay out! I know it seems a bit spaced out but I am currently writing everything down on my laptop and transferring it to my iPhone:).