Confused State, Undecipherable Feelings, and Transcendently Being

This is not real. This is just a figment of my imagination. All this suffering and misery has traumatized me so much that my mind is now conjuring up nonsense.

My mind has got to be playing tricks on me.

Because I adamantly refuse to accept this. This can not be real, like at all!

With my wildly thumping heart and shivering goosebumps all over my body, I gaped at the core of everyone's fear and trembled like a blob fish.

Him, who looks like a transcendent angelic being that has just blessed everyone with his presence.

Him, who managed to send me in a state of complete loss and utter madness.

Ares Maximilian Dacre.

How.....how can such a commanding person even exist?

True to the frightening rumors about him, every single person in the hall trembled with their heads bowed down to the point it would fall off to the ground. Their knees shook as they fiercely struggled against the urge to kneel down.

Everyone was numb with fear.

And he was simply...looking.

He strolled inside the hall with his long legs and huge build as people snapped out of their hypnotized state before parting like a red sea as they made way for him and his subordinates that followed after him, radiating the same deathly aura.

He was cladded in black pants with a tight black shirt, hugging all his biceps, triceps and his broad chest like second skin, sleeves rolled up showcasing his prominent veins running down his hands which were hidden in his pocket. The way he walked so nonchalantly made it clear that he was used to this reaction.

He looked like he owned everyone here. Maybe he did, we just didn't know yet.

With his intense, eyes that represented dark grey clouds on the stormy evening, deeper than the moonlight, he looked around the hall with a poker face, giving me nothing to figure him out. His long eyelashes fluttered on his sharp sunken high cheekbones with a pair full eyebrows, and perfectly sharp greek nose. I have never seen someone with such a perfect nose.

And his insanely sharp jawline that could slice your fingers off with just a jerk, was just so.... beautiful. He was beautiful. Transcendentally handsome, the type of beauty that made you want to die. Drop dead gorgeous. His gorgeousness whooped you in the face. Everyone who thought of themselves as good-looking were to drop down in shame and overcome with insecurity, if they were to come in his presence.

If being beautiful were a sin, he was a sinner.

Just when I thought he couldn't get any more hot and handsome and otherworldly than this, he brought his hand up from his pocket adorned by a silver bracelet and ran it through his full and smooth raven locks as a thick strand fell over his eyes while dusting off his perfectly shaped bottom lip with his thumb.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Bathump.

My shaky hand raised to clutch my tightening chest as I felt something inside me snap and held back a mocking chuckle at myself.

And I planned on attacking him? Him? Huh, I could never. Not even in my dreams.

He was too ravishing for me to do that. It felt like a sin for someone like me to even breathe the same air as him.

Please, he looked so deathly, shooting poisonous darts with his ruby eyes that all my plans flew out the window and all I could do was admire and gape at his blinding beauty.

The cold dagger strapped to my thigh made fun of my ambitions, but I....felt surreal.

Like someone had light me up in flames and I welcomed them with open arms.

There was a fire in my chest igniting such deep feelings and passion in me, that I have never felt before.

I was hypnotized. Bewitched. Lost.

My eyes couldn't stop staring at him. I could not shift my eyes away from him for even a single second. I felt someone shove me or even knee me in my side, but I did not care. I could feel the people around me, murmuring, maybe cursing at me, but the hard pounding of my heart was all I could hear.

Nothing was more important than him at this moment. Absolutely nothing at all.

He demanded my entire unfocused attention without even saying a single word. He didn't have to, I would give to him anyway.

He could throw me in the fire himself, and I would thank him.

Why was I feeling like this? Why is my heart thumping like it would burst any moment? Why am I stuck? Why can't I push forward with my suicidal plan and just charge at him?

I think I know the answer why. I don't want him to think of me as a crazy girl and kill me. Not him.

As I struggled with my internal feelings, I froze once again. Because his cold eyes were now looking straight

At me. At ME. AT me. Oh my heavens, he was looking at me with a intense stare as his deep almond eyes narrowed at my dumbfounded self.

The moment his eyes met mine, everything changed.

My previously frozen body moved on its own accord as my surroundings blurred with him being my sole focus. His eyes crinkled in interest as his perfect lips twitched into an amused smirk.

I continued walking towards him in a hypnotized state and glazed over eyes, when I tripped over my feet.

Fuck, way to embarrass myself.

Tightly shutting my eyes as I braced myself for the impact of the cold marble floor, I felt myself being pulled before colliding into a firm chest.

Flinching as I opened my eyes, I found him.

He stood right in front of me, with his arms tightly wrapped around my waist as if they were always meant to be there.

My shaky and lowly hands placed themselves on his chest as I screamed mentally and my lower lip quivered with my undecipherable state of mind and feelings.

His ruby eyes gazed my face with furrowed eyebrows making me shiver as I opened my mouth.

Before I could let out a word though, a sudden headache erupted making me groan as I harshly grabbed my hair.

Ugh, the heck? It had to be righ- What was this?

Hundreds of flashes appeared in my mind as I loudly groaned, and felt his arms tighten around me.

What was going on?

My mind hurt from the endless stream of scenarios after scenarios that made no sense, but the last one made me jolt as I snapped out of my hysteria to look straight in his eyes with my own tearful eyes.

"Why?"

My head and chest pounded harshly, and my vision blurred as my hand shakily dared to place itself on his rough cheek, and other tightly clutched the smooth fabric of his shirt.

"Y-you are going to die."

Was the last thing I whispered in a breathless voice before my knees gave out and I slumped into his arms.

..

My suicidal plan went totally against expectations, didn't it?