Chapter 7

"Being lost isn't the same as being nowhere. Being lost is worse because there's the false hope that you might be found."

Atticus' POV

Night fell quicker than I thought it would. Sitting outside of Zaraphines hut felt odd. I truly never thought I would find her, let alone be this close to her. I thought she would've broken our connection by now but she didn't. Why wouldn't she break it completely if she is seeing someone else? Maybe there is a chance for us. "She's not going to like that you are this close to her when she wakes up." Her 'boyfriend' almost growled as he walked up to me. "I don't care if she likes it or not. I'm not leaving her side. She can be upset with me all she wants but I won't ever leave her side again. She is my life Lane. I lost her because of my foolish actions once before, I won't make that mistake again." I said never taking my eyes off the ground. "She does love you Atticus. As much as I wish she didn't, she does. For some screwed up reason she never gave up on you. I don't know if that's because of her or her wolf but whatever the case may be don't hurt her. If she does decide to get back with you don't hurt her, I truly don't think she could handle it again." He said as he walked passed me and into her hut.

What would I do if she did choose me… Could I be the man she wants me to be. I have to be, I can't let her down again. I refuse to lose her again. Abruptly I stood and walked into her hut. Seeing Lane sitting beside my sleeping mate filled me with rage but what could I do? "Can I be in here when she wakes up?" I asked him lowly. "Excuse me? You do realize she was going to kill you right?" He spit out sarcastically. "Yes Lane. I understand her feelings towards me but I need to do something. I don't want her to think I only came here for a Luna." I said sadly. "She doesn't always wake up as herself Atticus." He told me. "What? She wakes up as her wolf?" I questioned him. "Yes.. Thats why I stay with her. I keep a syringe with me for if she wakes up as black. Her other wolf is dangerous Atticus." He tells me sadly. "I'm sorry Lane. I know I caused this. If I could go back and change how everything happened with her I would. I wish she didn't have any type of hatred towards me but I know I caused it, Im the only reason she feels this way. So only I can fix it." I told him truthfully.

"Is it true that she's never liked you? Jaime told me that when they first met she used to tell her stories of you two. She said that the day she met you, you two argued. Said that she knew from that day on that her life would forever be different." He questioned with a hint of amusement in his voice. "Yes it is true. She never liked me very much.." Told him with a chuckle. "Shes a feisty little wolf. I accused her of working with my brother when she told me that my rescue mission was too easy. I saved her from my brother. Well my other brother did. I was just the distraction. She shifted for the first time that night. She was beautiful. As soon as I seen her wolf I knew I was in trouble. She turned my entire life upside down from then. I thought I had everything figured out. Everything that I did she fought me on. She hated the fact that I tried to control her. If it wasn't for my brother she would've left me a lot sooner then she did. Did you know she attacked me?" I questioned with a grin. Remembering it like it was yesterday. "She attacked you?" He gaped "Yes she did. I tried to get her to wait to leave until the next morning. I was honestly just trying to buy myself some time to swoon her but that didn't work." I chuckled. "What happened?" He asked sitting up straighter like a kid hearing the best bed time story. "She shifted right in my house. Chased me out of my own house. I tried to calm her down but she wouldn't listen to me. She wanted to leave and I was in her way. She was leaving whether I wanted her to or not. She charged at me like a rabid dog. I didn't want to hurt her but she didn't give me a choice. She bit me. Can you believe that she actually bit me. I grabbed her and threw her off of me and she got up like it didn't even happen and ran. That was the last time I seen her. Running away from me." I told him as a tear rolled down my cheek.

"I'll give you two some privacy." He said as he looked towards Zaraphine and got up exiting her hut. " I turned towards her to see her wide awake staring at me. Her eyes as wide as saucers. "Don't tell people stuff like that." She huffed. "Why? Do you not like it?" I asked her curiously. "No I don't. They don't need to know what happened before I met them." She told me. "Okay. I won't say anything until you want me to. Im sorry." I told her honestly. "What?" She questioned raising her perfectly shaped eyebrow. "I won't say anything until you give me the okay. I love our story before all of the bad stuff happened. It often makes me laugh how strong headed we both are." I tell her with a chuckle. "Why are you being like this?" She asked me. "You're confusing my wolves and I don't like it. So stop." She said as she stood from the bed. I watched as she wobbled a bit. Reaching my hand out I lightly gripped her upper arm to steady her. "You're probably still a little drowsy. You should rest some more." I explained. "You sound like a fool Atticus. Im fine, now please remove her hand." She growled.

Sniffing the air I realized something was off. This isn't Zaraphine. Was it her wolf? "Whats your name?" I asked her gently. "I just go by black. Zaraphine never gave me or white a name." She explained. "How long has it been you and not Zara?" I questioned. "Don't worry I just got here. She doesn't want you touching her though. So please refrain from doing so." She told me with a stern scowl. I nodded my understanding before speaking up again, "How did you end up with Zara?" She looked nervous. "I don't want to talk about it. If Zaraphine wants to tell you she can but I will not." She growled. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I'll leave you alone. You really should rest though. All three of you. I can send Lane back in if you would like." I offered trying to hold in the growl that threatened to come out. "No. That is okay, I will see him in the morning at breakfast." She said as I was walking towards her door. As soon as my hand touched the handle she spoke again, "Ohh and Atticus?" I turned to look at her when she was standing right in front of me. "Tell me what do you fear the most?" She said, her bright eyes staring back into mine. Almost as if I was compelled I answered her honestly. "I fear that I won't be the best Alpha and mate. That I will fail at what I was destined to be." She nodded her head slightly before asking, "What are you destined to be? What are we supposed to be Atticus?" I gulped before responding. I couldn't help it. Why was I even telling her this. Selene told me not to tell her. She wanted to explain everything to her. "Come on Atticus don't fight me now. Things were just getting good." She purred. "Zara! What are you doing!? Get out of his head. Come on. Let's go eat before you get yourself in trouble." Jamies screeching voice sounded through the hut breaking our eye contact. Shaking my head I looked to Jaime as she grabbed Zaraphines arm and smiled sheepishly before darting out of the hut. "What do you mean she was in my head!?" I yelled after her but she just kept running.