Insecurities

Self conscious. Insecure. Fat. Gross.

Words you felt described yourself best. These were labels were put on you by cruel peers that you adopted. You were chubbier than most of your highschool classmates and that made you an easy target for incessant bullying. You worked hard to get passed all that after graduating, and you did for the most part; you label yourself as hard working, determined, badass ... But sometimes those annoying labels keep filtering back into your mind.

You were currently hanging out with your close friend Lucifer in his penthouse. He was ranting and raving about his Father and his brother Amenadiel. You were trying to follows along with whatever was bothering him but today was one of those days. The glass bottle you stored all the negative thoughts and feels began to crack.

'...' '...' '...' '...'

The thin cracks spread out across its surface, resembling a spiders web all over the bottle. You were internally battling with the negative thoughts the best you can, trying desperately to keep the bottle from breaking. But it wasn't much use, the metaphorical bottle shatter and out came an overflow of emotions.

You jumped when you felt two hands on your cheeks, bringing you back to reality. Lucifer was kneeling in front of you, a look of concern was on his face. You felt the pads of his thumbs swipe away the tears you were suddenly aware of.

"(Y/N), what's wrong, darling?" His voice was soft and comforting.

"Luci..." You croaked out a sob. He then wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight, protective hug. You latched yourself around him and cried into the crook of his neck. Your body shook as you sobbed while Lucifer softly rubbed circles along your back, attempting to soothe you.

"Shh... It's okay. Take all the time you need, (Y/N)." He whispered, keeping you close to his body.

Your sobs and cries slowly began to calm down but you stayed clinging Lucifer. He felt like you rock right now, it felt like he was keeping you grounded and calm. You shift your head, your chin now rested on his shoulder and your head leaning against his.

"Will you tell me what's wrong?" He asked again with the same, calm tone.

"Lucifer... Do you think I'm ugly?" You questioned, your voice barely above a whisper. "Am I gross-looking?"

"Absolutely not." He pulled away much to your dismay but he did take your hands into his. "(Y/N), you are the most stunning being I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Both your personality and physical appearance. Where did this come from?"

"From the past... I used to get called a lot of mean things and they stuck as adjectives for myself I guess. I struggle with my body image... I have for a long while. I am chubbier than-"

"Do not compare yourself to others. You are a beautiful person, your compassion is strong, and you are one of a kind." Lucifer gave your hands a squeeze. "Here are some adjectives to think of: adorable, sweet,  beautiful, fun, caring, one-of-kind... Honestly darling I can  go on all day." He cracked a crooked smile, making the corners of your mouth raise. "There is that beautiful smile I cherish and love."

"Love...?" Your eyes widened.

"Well of course, what's not to love? I wanted to tell you over our usual movie night tonight, but I think now is as good as ever." Lucifer pulled you up to your feet, keeping you close to him. "You are my special human, (Y/N)."