Loving You, though I die.

I was lying on my bed, it was cold and how not, if we were in the middle of winter, I remember it perfectly. I was not in a very good mood, I felt hurt, both for my heart and for my body, lately I was using exercise to repair the rest of the sorrows that tormented me, I smiled sideways when I began to read that sentence that changed my way of living life in an extraordinary way, or rather, the experience that opened my eyes regarding the world around us, and they say that from love to hate there is only one step.

I don't hate you, William, but thanks to you and everything I lived by your side I am now the woman you have in front of you, it has cost me, but here I am fighting every day to be a better version of the one I was, the one you had and didn't take advantage of, because yes, I loved you and probably still do, but that's a story for another day, isn't it?

The irony of life, when I thought I could reach the sky from your arms, you let me go without even telling me, without even telling me, "Hey, I can't be with you anymore, I don't love you," no.... I still think about you every day, William, and although I would like everything to go back to the way it was before, deep down I know I want it so I don't feel alone, despite my feelings I let you go, you can do with your life whatever you want, but leave me alone, don't talk to me, don't call me, don't say you love me anymore, because the girl who blindly believed in every one of your words doesn't exist anymore.

This story is for you, my beloved William.

A rose has is soft and delicate, but it also has sharp thorns to defend itself.

"Hello." - commented that stranger, William, his name was, I hesitated to answer, I didn't know him from anywhere, I had simply responded to one of his posts with those challenges that seem easy, but have their roguery when you understand well the meaning of each sentence. I ended up falling asleep, I saw his message around two in the morning, when I woke up due to thirst, I got up to the bathroom looking for water, I drank it almost in one sip, yes I was thirsty, as soon as I went to bed again, I fell asleep without paying more attention to his message.

A message that predicted a change, for me, for my life, and also for the lives of the people around me.

I woke up, brushed my teeth, put on my uniform and headed to school, as usual, there I laughed with my friends who always had something new to tell, not like me, who knew perfectly well how boring my life was and I only had to yearn to someday do the things they were talking about, I smiled sideways while daydreaming, that will never happen Rebecca, they will never let you. At school we gossiped and made up different assumptions about different people, we did all the pending activities that were many, because the semester was ending and the teachers always end up being late despite having everything planned before starting.

My days there were not very complicated, they were like any other student's, I guess....

Many times we skipped breakfast and lunch in order to complete everything we had missing, having to work hard to stand out from the rest was a part of my life and my vocabulary and it was not that it was a competition, but that we must strive to get good results like everything in life....

When I got home I completed my exercise routine as I always do, I liked doing it, it was a way to free myself from all the bad things I carried on me, all the problems I had on my shoulders and all the weight they put on top of them, literally since I started exercising my whole life improved, my self esteem, my confidence, my physique, literally everything.

"Hi." - I decided to answer William once I looked at my phone again and realized I had never answered him, yeah, I felt bad in a way, he was just trying to be nice, wasn't he?

"How are you?" - he answered almost immediately, but I didn't know what else to say, or whether to keep answering him, what's more, I didn't even know who he was.

"Fine thanks, how are you?". - I asked while smiling at the screen, I didn't know what I was doing, but I did it anyway, I answered him because an impulse made me do it, even I didn't understand myself.

I left the phone aside to connect a speaker and play the music I liked so much, after that I would exercise like every morning when I was at home, it was my way to spend the mornings that I didn't go to school and the way to get the bad thoughts out of my mind, those that seemed to want to kill me, but for the moment they were kept at bay.

I am so grateful when I decided to do this, it is like a new life that I am progressively adopting and that each time I seem to love it even more, I just hoped not to lose that, it was what gave me calm among so much stress that chased me in every step I took.

"Good too." - he replied, he didn't even take three minutes to delay to answer, something that again brought a smile to my lips. I saw his message after performing my exercises. - "What are you doing?" - he added minutes after sending that first message.

"Here resting after working out, what about you?". - I replied to his message attaching a smiley face with red cheeks, I assumed it was going for the occasion.

In one of my many trips to the high school, one Friday when I was leaving early, we organized a small meeting with William, we would see each other for the first time, of course we had been talking for about a month and the truth is that we felt pretty good, and I had learned to be fond of him, even if he was a little withdrawn and did not want to tell me most of his things, although I was still waiting for him to do so.

Let's play a game. - I mentioned when we finally decided to sit down in a square, after more than half an hour of debating back and forth.

What do you have in mind? - he asked smiling, I must admit that I loved to see his smile, besides his slanted eyes that made my body shiver. - What are you looking at? - he added getting serious, I didn't know if it would bother him or not what I would tell him.

I like your smile. - I answered while I felt how my cheeks reddened with embarrassment, I felt like I was a glass person, I didn't know if it was right or not to feel that way... with him. - Sorry, I didn't know if you would mind what I would say, I think I'd better stay silent. - I added lowering my head and not knowing how to react or what to say from now on.

Relax, it's just that I don't like to smile much, but I don't understand how it came naturally to me with you. I didn't want you to feel bad, far from it. - he commented, I couldn't help smiling with his words, although I still didn't dare to look at him... he, for his part, lifted my chin so that my eyes met his. - You look beautiful when you smile. - he added smiling again.

We were talking for a long time about the chance we had to meet through a social network, I never imagined meeting someone I didn't know and that I would sit without any protection thinking that something could go wrong, we also talked about his family, how he lived, the many times he has changed places, among other things that I found interesting about him and that surely I would never be able to do.

You have definitely done many more things than me. - I commented smiling, he did too and we felt good, I had never felt that way with anyone.

_ You probably think I'm interesting, but I think it's something we should all do. - he mentioned. - Don't be surprised at what I do. - he added. - Someday you'll be able to do it too. - he added again.

I know, but I have never done anything different from what my parents accept. - I answered smiling, I was a little blushing, I was a little embarrassed to comment things about my life in front of him, I felt that we knew each other so little, but at the same time we had things that complemented each other, or something like that. - I've always been square about what I should and shouldn't do and that sometimes bores me a little. - I added.

I can't imagine you breaking the rules, you're too good at breaking the rules. - he mentioned smiling, he had said it as if in a half-laughing tone, but it didn't seem mocking at all. I nodded in response.

I think so. - I replied. - It's hot. - I mentioned as I got up from the stool we were on to take off the jacket I was wearing.

Yes, do you want an ice cream? - he mentioned smiling and getting up behind me. - I know it's almost winter, but it wouldn't hurt to have some ice cream, would it? - he added again, this time he looked at me with eyes that seemed to penetrate my eyes, I felt uncomfortable for a few seconds.

Em... well. - I answered smiling embarrassed, I had no idea if he was inviting me for an ice cream or if he just wanted us to have an ice cream, in any case I wouldn't let him pay for mine.

Relax, it's okay. - he mentioned. - You don't have to turn red. - I smiled softly, but my embarrassment didn't go away, in fact it kept increasing.