LOVE THAT NEVER WAS

..."For Real?"

I remained mute... with my eyes fixed on her like I was some lost sheep that had caught the tempting gaze of the startling eyes of Medusa... "how come?" I added.

She gave me a faint smile, sighed and looked at the opposite direction...then back at me...

I felt awkward.

I got caught in a fit of abstraction just staring at her.

Daydreaming under the hot sun.

It was like I might never recover from the fit.

Her manner of response coupled with her gestures had lured my mind to imagining a lot of nothing.

I summoned all till the last atom of courage I felt left in me...

The barking sound of my heart hitting my chest and heating up my body spurs,

causing dry cold sweat to run down from my armpits and back profusely.

I stretched my trembling hand and gently held her right arm.

closing my eyes and waiting for revoke, I whispered in a breaking near-to-no-sound voice:

"you have always been the one... I... I know I care about you and...I.." I couldn't continue...

All those words I had practice all those sleepless nights staring at my ceiling for a day like this had vanished suddenly, Gone! Completely.

There she was, the girl of my dreams, and there I was, the so called lover boy, caught in a dilemma, unable to speak.

My love for her had broken my every sense of reason. I stood there as a fool in love. Indeed I loved her.

As though she felt it, like her heart's ears where listening to my heart's message, she turned towards me fully and held both my hands.

My still closed eyes opened gently as though an amazing grace.

Was I dreaming?

I was lost in the moment. It was like the world was in a stand-still and nothing else existed but us.

I was floating in the clouds and nature itself seemed to adjust to a favourable mood, set for the moment.

The fresh breeze, the sweet sounds from the birds, and even the scorching sun netted itself in the shading clouds.

Like magic, her mouth uttered in a beautiful voice:

"I know you love me... I've always known... I see how you stare at me each time I walk pass, The sweets you always put in my bag, the poems you write without your name, Leaving them in my books... I've always wanted to tell you how your poems were so lovely... But..."

I watched her speak in amazement. "Come back to reality..." My mind kept reminding myself.

"...you are a good person... Your heart is warm... But... We can't be together. I love someone else. You deserve someone who will love you. I wish It were me but... It can't. I'm so sorry". She added.

She leaned close, placed her soft tiny fingers on my now worried rough face and her lips came close to mine...

My eyes shut once more and it was like the heavens were let loose,

She kissed me and quickly detached herself from me and ran off.

Just then did my knees gave way; how should I feel? Happy... Or sad?

My dreams, imaginations, emotions, all crumbled in a way I couldn't fix like a card tower.

As if nature felt it too, the sad clouds drizzled on me.

And all that rung in my head was...

"For Real!?"