Chapter eighteen

David O'connell Narrating:

Do you ever feel like you're dying? Have you ever felt your whole body aching in a completely absurd way? Have you ever felt your feet touching the ground but at the same time not feeling it?

Have you ever felt as if the walls were falling on your back and you were getting smaller and smaller? This is anxiety, everything in that room contributed to the aching feeling in my chest that every time I pulled in the air and let go.

It was as if my heart was going to stop. I threw myself on the couch around the boxes, November 1st had not become my favorite date, checking my cell phone I realized that Kate was on her way, not that she said.

But ever since Ana died, she comes to my apartment after five or six missed calls. I took a sip of the Heineken holding it between my index finger and thumb.

There it marked a new beginning and I was happy that I had only one anxiety attack, it was a victory for someone who had seven a day.

It was horrible to feel my hands numb and trembling and my vision blurred. To feel your stomach rumbling so loudly and yet not feel any hunger? Have you ever felt all of this? I have Ana.

I had almost every day I walked into that house, and I couldn't take it anymore. I drank the last of the beer with a frown, feeling it running hot down my throat.

When the intercom rang I knew what to expect, I let it go up, thumbed the glass from the bottle and went back to the couch.

Kate walked in, throwing her purse on top of one of the boxes that flooded my living room, probably that irritability had a name. Estela!

She was an old colleague, if I may call her that, and we nicknamed her "light-hearted", because whenever she got a case she made decisions without thinking, often without even understanding the facts.

Wanting to finish as soon as possible is not a bad thing. Not considering the facts, and not even studying the facts, was stupid. And the Captain put her in the investigation with us.

- Okay, calm down. You need to relax or you're going to have a stroke.

- I don't understand why you're not having a seizure? - She pointed to herself. - David, that was our case. She talks all media, seriously, she hasn't skipped an interview in only two days of participation. You should see it!

I bowed my head, still holding the bottle in my left hand. - It's too bad I disappeared these days, I had teeth...

- David, you don't have to lie to me. - Kate zipped up the jaguar blazer she was wearing over her yellow shirt, and pouted. - I know what day it is!

- Well, it's not a lie, I actually had a dentist earlier today. - I ignored what she said about today and kept talking, running my hand over the back of my neck in stress.

- But, you didn't have to come here Kat, you don't exactly have the strong arms I need to help me move.

- Hey, wait. - She opened her mouth. - Are you moving?

- No, Kat, I just like living with lots of boxes in my living room and my disassembled wardrobe.

My mouth curved into an involuntary smile, she tongued her tongue as she walked around the boxes with her hand on my waist, her hand on my shoulder she was checking me out from head to toe, just staring at me I could tell this was her way of saying "When were you going to tell your best friend you were moving?

She played with her hair as it blew loose with the wind from the window, I stood up to close it feeling that the cold New York winter weather had ruined the heat from the heater, and I hadn't even noticed.

I rubbed my hands together. She looked at me, surprised by the news.

- David, are you all right?

I always told Kate the truth, she knew me so well, we had been friends since high school. But when it came to talking about anxiety, this was very new to me.

For the first time there was something I didn't know how to say to my best friend.

- Yes, I'm fine. I just wanted to understand more about this case, whoever it is knows what they're doing, and...

She interrupted me. - I know, it's been hard. But before I tell you about something that came up in the case. I just wanted to understand, why the change?

She raised her thick eyebrows, arms crossed. I was intrigued when she mentioned something new in the case, and I squatted down and propped my elbows on my knees.

- Don't get me wrong, it's just that you know how curious I am. Not least because when I suggested you get out of here a while ago, you didn't want to.

She took off her blazer, leaning on the coffee table almost at her height.

- Well, I was stubborn. - I retorted.

Kate's eyes widened with laughter, and she answered my comment with a satisfied smile, which was her way of saying, "I'm glad you know that.

- I know how to admit my flaws. - She smiled, leaning her head against the sofa and stretching her legs.

- And that's one of your qualities. - She clasped her palms together, pulling herself into a serious posture. - As much as I'm dying of curiosity. I came here because we have news, well, nothing certain, but it's something to investigate. - She rubbed her temples. - Just now Penelope Martinez left the police station, the point is there is someone sending flowers in her name to people, I thought it had nothing to do with it, but, she claims to know exactly when she wrote that signature and we made the sketch of this woman.

- How is that helpful? You forget that I am a little out of date.

- Yeah, you weren't there this morning. - She scratched her chin quickly. - The point is that Samantha and Francine received bouquets of red tulips in Penelope's name before she died.

- And is she sure that this signature is the one given to this woman? - I crossed my arms. - When I did her security I could tell that she signs a thousand things a day.

- Yes, because she claimed it was the first one she gave since she started going out again

That week doing guard for Penelope I could observe her gestures, even the way she adjusts her glasses and bites the rubber band of his chain.

I confess that I considered her as guilty, not to mention that she was a terrible loser when it came to chess, I laughed with my hand on my chin.

Her outings were to bookstores, which impressed me, even though nowadays everything is online, she still liked the physical ones. Most of the books she bought were about romances with unhappy endings.

- David? David?

Kate called my attention, and with my cell phone in my hand I caught myself lost in thought.

- I have to go, they put a bomb on one of the actors' yachts... - She spoke with her eyes fixed on the cell phone, hurriedly grabbed her bag and coat.

I pondered the facts, there was no point in staying at home mulling over my feelings, Kate needed help, and I could reschedule the dentist.

I stood up and grabbed my keys, surprised at this further threat.

- Wait, I'll come with you.

She smiled, I quickly changed so we could walk down to the police station together.

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