Chapter 2

Jared thinks this is serious, but something’s missing. He wants to share it with someone, anyone, but doesn’t know who. Everyone at school already knows he’s with Larry—they’re both out, and make no attempts to hide or curb their feelings for each other on campus. But what happens after graduation, when their living situation goes from being college roomies to…what? To lovers, to partners. As much as he looks forward to a life together, he’s afraid of what will happen when his parents visit.

Larry’s parents are cool with their relationship. The summer before their junior year begins, Jared pays a visit to the townhouse where Larry’s parents live right outside DC. He’s introduced as the boyfriend, not the roommate or college buddy. He likes that, boyfriend. He mouths the word silently just to try it out as Larry’s mother hugs him. Then Larry’s father shakes his hand, and both are happy to finally meet the guy their son is so in love with, Jared can forget his own dour parents, the oppressive silence awaiting him at home, the secrets and resentment and disappointment he hasn’t yet managed to escape.

* * * *

Larry keeps asking to meet the Harrisons, and Jared keeps coming up with excuses why that isn’t such a great idea. He isn’t going home for fall break; his parents don’t want anyone who isn’t “family” at Thanksgiving; they don’t really celebrate Christmas. Finally Larry asks the question Jared has been dreading. “Is it me?”

“No,” Jared assures him, but the word feels hollow so he follows it with a tender kiss. “It’s my father. He…”

“Doesn’t know about me?” Larry asks.

Jared shrugs. “Doesn’t know about me. And probably doesn’t really care. You won’t like them.”

With a laugh, Larry says, “I don’t have to like them, but I want to at least meetthem at some point. You don’t have to say we’re together.”

“Until they hear us having sex in my old bedroom,” Jared mutters. Yeah, that will go over big. No, better to keep Larry and his parents as far apart as he can.

But Larry is persistent, and by the time fall semester ends, he convinces Jared to introduce him to the Harrisons. Actually, Jared doesn’t have much of a choice—Larry announces he’ll spend Christmas with his own folks, then drive down to spend New Year’s with Jared. “I’m going to kiss you at midnight,” he promises. “I don’t care who sees us.”

Jared does. In fact, he’s already thinking he might rent a hotel room for the week after Christmas and tell Larry his parents are out of town. But where would they go? They don’t travel anywhere, they don’t vacation. They stay home and don’t speak to each other, and Jared doesn’t want Larry to see that. He doesn’t want Larry anywhere nearthem.

Then Larry says the one thing Jared can’t argue with. “If you really love me, you’ll let me see every aspect of your life.”

“Not them,” Jared protests.

“Especiallythem,” Larry insists.

Jared sighs. “Fine. You want me to come out to them? You want to witness them disowning me? Fine. See you for New Year’s. The first time you meet them will most likely be the last.”

Larry laughs as he gives Jared a warm hug. “I’m sure you’re exaggerating.”

Problem is, Jared knows he isn’t, and he doesn’t know whether to be upset about the upcoming confrontation or relieved the truth will finally come out when he does.

* * * *

He has a plan. He doesn’t know if it’ll work, but it’s the only way he can think of to come out to his father without making that big a deal about his sexuality. The only thing he tells Larry when his boyfriend shows up on his doorstep is, “Let me do the talking.”

Larry nods and waits for Jared to start the conversation. He’s introduced to Mrs. Harrison, who gives him a limp handshake, and Mr. Harrison, who grunts in greeting. Jared sits Larry on the sofa across from his father’s recliner and drops down beside his boyfriend, close enough that his mother raises an eyebrow in surprise. He flashes her a tight grin and takes Larry’s hand in his.

Her eyes widen. Without his saying a word, she knows.

Now comes the hard part.

Jared clears his throat. “Father?”

It’s never been Dad—they simply don’t have that familiar a relationship. Mr. Harrison shakes the paper as if to show he’s busy and doesn’t bother lowering it yet.

Jared grips Larry’s hand tighter, and feels his boyfriend’s strength flow into his fingers. He looks at his mother, who gives him a slight nod of encouragement. “I have an announcement to make,” he begins. Larry’s fingers squeeze his. “Two, actually.”

After a moment of silence, Mr. Harrison grouses, “Well?”

Here it is. “Mom, Dad. Larry isn’t just a friend from school. We’re sort of dating. I’m gay.”

The newspaper drops, finally, but Jared doesn’t recognize the man on the other side of it. The clenched jaw, the hard eyes, the thin lips—suddenly his father’s face looks brittle, as if cracks might appear across his fa?ade at any moment.