Chapter 46:- Mistakes.

I cut him off and said,

" There's one major difference is that you didn't talk with me about all this and then did things intentionally. It feels like we're again fighting like when we first met. Like you don't have trust in me. I feel like I still don't understand you completely. Can you please give me some time to understand all these things? I just need time to think about you without keeping in touch with you.

I'm not saying that I am thinking about breaking friendship with you. I just need a break. A break to think and understand about all the things what is happening "

I cut off the call after that because I just don't want to listen to him. I just wanted to spend time with myself to understand all things. These two days whatever I felt now I feel like this was all planned by him to make me feel that way.

After cutting off the call. I put my phone aside and went to the washroom to take a bath and change my clothes. I was angry and I just needed time to understand why it affected me so much. I literally felt Meera's dialogue about him was right. It's really difficult to know him. I started questioning myself how I can think that he will not get angry at me. Did I make mistakes to understand him? Is he really heartless or there's still something about his personality which I don't know. I was feeling angry and after taking a bath I'm feeling calm. Mind still has many questions and doubts.

When I got changed in the simple clothes and came out from the bathroom I saw my both roommates were in the room. I tried my best to show them that my mood is alright.

They both were busy on their phones. I took my books and started reading. Only reading can make me calmer now. Because I know that right now I'm not in the condition to think about anything and I know that if I sit free then again I will start thinking about him.

After dinner also I continued my reading. My mother called me and at that time I saw on my phone that Aarav called me five times and then stopped. I talked with my family.

My mother asked me if everything was okay and after saying that I'm okay two times she still has feelings that I'm feeling disturbed so I told her that today I got in a fight with one of my friends. Nothing more serious. After assuring her I talked with my father and brother then we cut off the call.

At night after talking with my family I plugged my earphones and started listening to music. Playing music in the background can help me to think with a calm mind and not to make any kind of decision which I regret later. I lie down on the bed and start thinking about what exactly we both are ? Is he behaving like this with all his friends or is he like this with me only?

I had never experienced anything like this before because my friends didn't do things like he did with me. He just wants me to inform him that I travelled safely or not. I like his concern about me but the thing is I'm not used to doing things like this. Apart from my family I have never ever called or messaged someone that I reached the place safely or not. His this kind of concern gives me the vibes that we both are more than friends but his behaviour through which he makes me angry I just want to stop myself from thinking that we can be more than friends.

I know that I repeated my mistake by not responding to him but in return he also made the mistake. He is not a bad person but he makes terrible mistakes when he gets angry.

I don't want to change him completely but right now the more important thing is to know him and understand that is there any possibility that I should think of him more than a friend. While thinking of all this at which time I fall asleep I don't know.

Next day in the morning my roommates wake me up because I didn't put the any alarm and at midnight in the sleep I when I get little awake I removed earphones and put phone aside.

I'm much calmer and in a fresh mood today compared to last night. I hope I can decide something better today.

After attending the college when I come back to my hostel room I again start thinking about what happened and what to do so that we both can avoid something like this.

I know that I did mistake and he also did mistake but the only difference was he did it intentionally without knowing how bad it was gonna affect me and I did that mistake without any intention but that affected him.

Sometimes it's better to learn from mistakes and move forward in life instead of keep focusing on those mistakes.