Study Abroad— To America

Shi Lian was about to exit through the front door of the hospital when Meng Yao spotted her. Their eyes met. Shi Lian paused, panic rising in her nerves. She glanced at Atian's brother who stood beside Meng Yao. He asked her through gestures. He thought she would have left by now. 

"You! What are you doing here? Don't tell me you went to meet Atian!" Meng Yao bellowed, widening her eyes at her. 

"I—" Shi Lian felt a sob choking her of what Atian had said to her hours ago. She had cried enough but still, the bitter memory made her cry again. While she was controlling her emotions, Meng Yao latched on her again, spatting cruel things to her. 

"You met him, didn't you? How disrespectful, Shi Lian! I have specifically warned you not to visit Atian, but you did!"

"I wanted to see him.... How can I sit at home and not see him when he is awake?" Shi Lian reasoned, her voice pained. 

Meng Yao's expression remained cold. "You caused the accident, Shi Lian. Don't forget that! And keep this in mind that if my Atian is in this condition, it's only because of you!" 

Guilt, pain and whatever that could break her heart into crumbles ran through her. Meng Yao's words were vicious and so was her expression. She has never saw her in this way. For her, Meng Yao was always sweet and humble but the way she blamed Shi Lian for everything made Shi Lian even upset. 

"Mom, enough" Wucheng stepped in, holding his mother's shoulder firmly. 

"Leave Shi Lian. Just leave my Atian alone" Meng Yao snapped. 

Shi Lian's body shook as she weeped. Now that Atian doesn't remember her, it was indirectly the reality that she was out of Atian's life. "He-he doesn't remember me" Shi Lian said in a low tone. 

Meng Yao's expression shifted from cold to surprised to pensive. "See? Even Atian doesn't want to see you. You got the hint, Shi Lian. My Atian does not want you in his life."

"Mom, you are overstepping!" Wucheng butted, trying to defend Shi Lian. Meng Yao ignored him, keeping her sharp gaze on Shi Lian. 

Shi Lian had read that it took only few seconds for a person to change. Now that she had saw it with her own eyes, the words hit deeper. 

Keeping her head down, she ran out from the hospital, and to her car. 

~

MO MANSION

When Mo Zheng Yuan came from the company, the first thing he noticed after entering the living room was his wife's upset face. 

"Dear, is everything all right?" he asked, taking a sear beside her on the couch. 

Sha Sha sighed, the worried lines on her face deepening. "Our daughter.....she is good through a terrible phase and as her parents we can't do anything."

Sha Sha let him know what had happened today. When Shi Lian came from the hospital, she had went straight to her room, locked herself up and cried her eyes out. After two hours later, she finally opened the door and calmed Sha Sha who was knocking at her door since then. Shi Lian told her about Atian's condition, leaving the details about what Meng Yao said. 

"Our poor daughter. She doesn't deserve to face this... If this continues, I don't what to do, Yuan."

Zheng Yuan hugged Sha Sha, calming her nerves while he thought what to do about the situation. As her father, he was worried for her and he agreed that if Shi Lian continued to think about this accident for years, it will affect her future. 

Later, after he had dinner, he called Shi Lian in his office. Shi Lian was in her pyjamas, her eyes tired and lifeless and her pale like a ghost. 

"Sit down, Shi" he said, gesturing her towards the brown leather couch set across the room. She did. Her shoulders were tensed and so was her expression. 

"Daughter" Zheng Yuan started, "how are you feeling?"

Shi Lian shrugged, doesn't wanting to say anything because the question was heavier than it seemed. And if she opened her mouth, she might cry again. 

"Do you blame yourself for Atian's situation?"

She looked up, bit her lower lip and nodded in admission. Zheng Yuan sighed and came to sit on the chair beside the couch. 

"Are you going to blame yourself for the rest of your life, Shi Lian?" She doesn't know. However, right now, she blamed herself. "Look, darling. You know that you didn't caused the accident to happen intentionally. Accidents happen without anyone's intuition or knowledge. Blaming yourself would do no good."

"But I feel guilty, father" she spoke, her voice strained. 

"Atian's memory loss has nothing to do with you, Shi Lian. I am certain Atian does not or ever will blame you about his condition. Moreover, you shouldn't pay any attention to what Meng Yao says. She is going through a tough time as well so that's her way of defense."

"I can't stop thinking about.... That what if Atian never remembers me? What if he gets his memory back and blame it on me? It will break me, father."

The pain in Shi Lian's voice made Zheng Yuan's heart ache. He couldn't bear to see his daughter in such a devastating state. "It's killing me that I cannot see him. It's suffocating me...everything is just suffocating me" she broke down. 

Zheng Yuan reached forward to console her and hearing Shi Lian's thoughts, he was now more determined about his decision. 

"Daughter, I don't want you to see ruining your life like this. I accept that the accident left a deep scar in you, however, just because of that, you cannot keep your life on hold" he said softly. 

Shi Lian wasn't doing good in her exams and she barely passed in her last exams. Even her teachers were shocked of her sudden drop in her performance. Zheng Yuan knew his daughter had the talent and mind to be successful and he couldn't afford to make her lose them. 

"I have come up with a decision" he asserted, untangling himself from him. He took out an envelope kept on his desk and handed it to Shi Lian. 

"What decision?" she asked while opening the envelope. She scrutinized at the paper which a second later appeared to be a plane ticket. Her eyes widened in horror and coldness settled like ice on her skin. "Tickets to US?"

"Yes. You will be going there for your higher education. I have already talked to the university, the dorm where you will be living or if you want to live alone that is also adequate, also—"

"Why?" she asked, cutting him midsentence. Shi Lian was well aware that she was disobeying her father by cutting off his sentence, but she didn't care right now. She was hardly coping with Atian's situation, when her father added another load for her. 

"For you, my daughter. For your bright future. I'm well aware that your aren't happy with the news with what is going on but i cannot delay it. If you stay here, things will worsen for you" Zheng Yuan explained. 

Anger boiled inside her and she rose from the couch, glaring at her father for the first time of her life. "How could you, father? How can you make decisions for me without my consent?" she yelled, slamming the envelope on the coffee table. 

You aren't in a state to think correctly. I'm your father, Shi Lian. I know what is best for you and what is not."

"No! Father, can't you see what the situation is? I cannot leave Atian alone! He-he needs me!" she cried. She wasn't fully sure if he needed her, but she knew she needed him. 

Zheng Yuan frowned but kept his tone neutral. "Sit down, Shi Lian." Shi Lian remained rooted to her spot, her chest rising and falling. 

"Father, if you know what is best for me, then you wouldn't have done this!" 

Zheng Yuan had expected such kind of breakout from her. It was reasonable since she was going through a tough time. But if he didn't sent her away from here, Shi Lian would drown herself and ruin her future. 

"You may think what I am doing is irrelevant. You may think I am being heartless but my daughter, you have to see clearly that if you keep yourself stuck here, you will forever be stuck, and I do not want that. "

Shi Lian shook her head frantically, her body shaking as she kept her head lowered to hide her tears. Zheng Yuan softened his tone and held her hand. "You are precious daughter, Shi Lian. I will never do anything to hurt you. You know it, right?" Shi sniffed. "You have one day to clear your head. The day after tomorrow, you will be departing."

"Father... " she looked up, her eyes welled with tears. Zheng Yuan had said what he had to and even Shi Lian knew what he said made sense, however, she doesn't want go anywhere. She doesn't want to leave Atian. 

She got up and without saying anything, left the office and ran to her room.