Mdm Cactus

Ahoy Seadogs!

It is I, Pirate S., your captain again. I noticed that my crew is increasing without my knowledge but could you really blame me? I was busy looking for treasure.

As mentioned previously, I was busy digging for clues around a certain headmistress. We shall call her Mdm Cactus because nobody knows if she is married. One thing for sure, she is married to her job.

The good news is that after much sneaking around, I finally found the treasure. If you were thinking if sparkly gold coins in a sturdy wooden chest buried beneath the sand, you're severely lacking in imagination and should be ashamed at your stereotyping habits. This treasure is worth more than gold, it's priceless information.

Remember how Tomy Chrome's mommy fell down the stairs and there wouldn't be anyone to look after him or his little ones? My first guess was that Mdm Cactus would be the one to hear of it from Ms Chrome so I stalked Mdm Cactus around. The headmistress is a surprisingly predictable lady. By predictable I mean being able to guess her routine by the second day of observation.

Mdm Cactus arrives at school every morning at seven and would eat an apple brought from home for breakfast before applying her lipstick. She would always wear her hair in a tight bun pulled back, a white blouse and a tight pencil skirt. The look isn't perfect without some catty glasses so Mdm Cactus always has them on just so it makes her eyeliner sharper.

Mdm Cactus would then make her rounds and patrol the school with her black kitten heels that makes this signature click-clack sound as she walks. Her aim is to catch students who are running late who attempt to climb over the gates and fences. Also, Mdm Cactus is a cleanliness freak. Her keen eyes could spot a sweet wrapper on the floor from a good distance away. Any students in the vicinity of it would be reluctantly be recruited as a one-time janitor and told to throw it away. Her regular sermon is to "love the school the way you love yourself" and that's for the morning assembly speech that nobody actually pays any attention to.

Once class starts, it becomes a little harder to know what Mdm Cactus would do. However, your brave captain risked it all on an excuse to the toilet on the pretext of a bad stomachache. With that hall pass of freedom, I dashed towards the secret hiding spot and spied on Mdm Cactus in her office through the window. That was when I discovered "it".

Nobody has seen Mdm Cactus smiling before so it came as a huge shock to me when the headmistress had this wide grin on her face after staring at her phone screen. Her love for cats was no secret but nobody had seen her act on it directly. That was when I decided to test a theory and hastily tore a page from my notebook.

To avoid any suspicion, I wrote the message with my non-dominant hand and even crushed it to look like trash. It took me three tries before the projectile hit the mark and Mdm Cactus read the tip-off as expected. Initially, she was furious about someone daring to throw litter at her. However, after discovering that it wasn't a simple prank letter, she went to ascertain the truth for herself.

I sat in my hiding spot and watched her from afar as she crossed the school's courtyard in the blazing sun to where Tomy Chrome was. The cat was startled by a stranger approaching his safe spot and started hissing menacingly. Mdm Cactus wasn't fazed. She simply used the borrowed key to unlock the gate and came around to the pile of rubbish that Tomy Chrome had amassed.

Seeing that danger was getting closer to the little ones, the angry cat attacked with claws and teeth. Mdm Cactus didn't even flinch when that beast drew blood. With her other hand, Mdm Cactus retrieved the broken nest gently and settled it in a thick towel before bringing back both eggs and cat to her office. Nobody questioned it when Mdm Cactus was seen carrying a thick towel in one hand and dripping blood from the other hand with a crazed cat hanging off it. The rumours about Mdm Cactus' badassery spread like wildfire and for a few days, there were no naughty children.

I watched as Mdm Cactus settled the eggs in the science lab's incubator and then coaxed Tomy into letting go of her with premium cat food settled by the machine. Mdm Cactus then exchanged some words with the lab technician before leaving to grab some supplies from the nearest first-aid kit to tend to her wounds.

Seeing how dedicated Mdm Cactus was to her job made me think that it might be difficult to approach her as a person with her stiff demeanour and unlikeable reputation. However, it was undeniable that deep down, she was a good person who only meant well for others just like a cactus. For those who weren't dying in the desert, they wouldn't want to be near a cactus and risk getting pricked. However, for those who were out of options like Tomy Chrome and his little ones, Mdm Cactus was a lifesaver. You might not like the taste of cactus juice but it will save your life if you took a little effort to prepare and drink it.

Food for thought:

What do you think about cacti? On the surface level, they might be pricks but on a deeper level, perhaps they might be the people you really needed in your life?

Alrighty yati yati, we gotta get mooring next entry so don't hold your breaths and man up, ya swabs!

That's all from lil' ol' me, I will catch you next week.

Fair Winds!

Pirate S.