forgiveness

YAN RUYI

I felt a sharp shatter sound the next I touched my cheek I felt numb from pain both internal and external . I looked at my step mom with disbelief . She raised her again I closed my eyes , I noticed her hand stopped midway .

Mom: how ungrateful you are??? How can you say that didn't I took you in as your daughter ??? Didn't I give you everything a mother can and today you are calling me heartless !!!! I regret the day I picked you from the grave were your mother left you !!( she shouted throwing punches at Yan who had her face buried to protect it from her mother ) You are just hurt by giving money??

I let her pour out her rage and anger at me , once she was done I raised up my puffy face and glared at her . She was sitting on the floor head between her legs . I could hear her whimpering . I felt bad , how can' I call her that . If it wasn't for her I would have been dead . I stood up from the bed and hugged from behind crying.

Me: I'm sorry mom ....I was wrong I shouldn't have said that to you ....I deserve to be punished ....(, her mother remained quite ) then if you want me to leave I will ..

I stood up vision blur with hot tears . It seems like she doesn't want to see my face . That's when she hugged me suddenly from behind.

Mom: my Yan !!( she sobbed ) don't leave me alone ...I have no one except for you my daughter ( she continued to sob )

Me: I won't leave ,

I turned to give her a quick hug . She later left after receiving a call she asked me for money which I didn't have . I had to give her twenty yuan which I wanted to use for transport because me and my crew member we were going out to shoot a new drama in H City. I got a role to act as the heroine . It was going to be my first role as a main leader . In no time my mom had disappeared . I lay on my bed head looking up the ceiling . I was still sore from the inside and I felt empty without my virginity . I don't know how I fall asleep but was woken by a light slap on my shoulder . It was feifei .

Me: when did you get here?? ( she questioned sleepily)

Feifei: it's about an hour now ??? What is wrong I have been calling you and you weren't picking up my calls .( she said pulling away the blankets from Yan)

I sat up ,

Me: I._ I was just taking a nap ,,,,,is there something emergent???

Feifei: remember you are now a celebrity you have to shop clothes ....

Me: I'm not feeling well FeiFei ..

Feifei: I'm your manager I don't want to be laughed by other managers let's go and check your schedule...

She said handing me my schedule . It was quite tight . I had to go for some photoshoots after that I will have an online meeting with my fans .

Me: I thought it was going to be easy ...( she complained as she get off the bed and headed to the shower)

I took thirty minutes in the shower. I had lot's of pressure on me , personal problems and professional things . When I walked of the shower I wore a baggy short and a big shirt . I wore no make-up . I went to meet with FeiFei she just looked at me in awe I gave her a wassup look .

FeiFei: you look dull !( she exclaimed)

Me: so what ?? Do I have to scream out for attention you know the paparazzi will be keeping an eye on me

Feifei: when you walked into the industry do you think you will do as you please??? Of course you have to compete with the hottest actresses ...how can you be famous if you don't know how to dress .....look at Ye Ling she is now the Queen of ratings , trafficking actress ,,, the weibo princess, with the most anticipated dramas look at her appearance ..( she said showing Yan a magazine of Ye Ling she was wearing a transparent simmering silky dress which reached her thighs ....she had a curvy body a gentle smile on her face... long ash blond hair which covered her bare back ...she looked like a real goddess , large dark eyes, full crimson lips)

My throat dried just staring at her she was someone whose name was never uttered by juniors like us , she was our senior and an expensive celeb who wasn't seen everywhere . I wished to meet her just for once . She won an award of being the most sexiest , beautiful girl in Asia .

Me: she is my idol and i don't think I will ever be like her and moreover she was born for beautiful things but look at me .....

Feifei shook her head

Feifei: I wonder what exactly got into my head when I agreed to be your manager you don't deserve me! ( she hissed walking out of the room , Yan followed behind)

Me: that's why you are my best friend ..( she said with a smile)

She took her car and asked me to shop some clothes. She helped me picking some beautiful stuffs and I picked mine. We headed to take some photoshoots were we run across Meing Chan who was one of the famous male celebs he was a senior to us rookies . He was one of the admired man by many actresses . He was six feet tall with auban hair which was left hanging to his shoulders . Handsome face... pretty blue eyes . He worked under the Young company I worked for . He passed by us Feifei almost fainted her eyes were wide as if they were going to come out from their sockets . She had a crush on him so did I . Our faces flushed red.

Feifei: senior ....( she said waving quietly after him)

Me: he didn't hear you ...( laughing)

Feifei: what a godlike man I wish he could look at me once,, ( she whispered softly mind lost)

Me: he is every girl dream what makes you think he will look at you if not our Queen Ye

Feifei: thanks for reminding me...

She said walking away angrily , What a funny girl ? I said to myself as I walked behind . I found her in the car she drove to her simple house she lived alone . She was twenty two years old and from a rich family though she didn't love to live on her parents money . When we got in the house we sat down drinking milkshakes.

Feifei: yesterday you sounded nervous about something,,,,, why did you question me something like that??? ( she asked giving Yan an intent look who got choked by the milk)

My heart raced , how can I tell her what I did??