35 I CAN'T FORGIVE HIM

"I assume you have some important business with me which is why you summoned me here. Right, father?" I may have a lot of time in my palms, but it doesn't mean he's included in my priorities. "Please prepare a cup of coffee for Princess Helvetica—" I cut him off.

"You don't have to prepare anything for me. I'm going to leave this room as early as I can. Don't waste my time, father. Please talk about the matters." But he appears to be oblivious to my statement, insisting on signing the servants to prepare some food.

"Father—"

"How are you?" I flinched as he asked. It was just a simple question and yet my blood's boiling just hearing his voice. But in either way, it's disrespectful to not answer that question, isn't it? "I will be always fine as long as I don't get to interact with you, father." At least I'm being honest.

"You've been working so hard lately. Don't you think it's time to rest for a while?" I lean my back on the sofa as I try to read his gestures. This man has the audacity to call me out here just to check me if I'm fine. Well, I'm still breathing. That's a simple description to answer his question overall.

"I rest in the evening and labor with my hands in the morning, father. Just like what you're expecting towards me." Reading endless petitions coming from the capital and some ridiculous pranks perpetrated by lunatics. I handle it all. Just like what he wants me to do.

"Are you tired?" Of course I'm tired, Is he dumb? Who would be pleased to read such inane words from illiterate people and self-centered nobles? "Your Majesty, do you have anything to say? If you just call me to check on me, my body and soul is still fine. I'm still breathing as you can see." The coffee was placed on my table, but I didn't even dare to take a sip.

I don't have faith in my father. Just to keep things brief.

"I just wanted to talk. Isn't it natural for a father to be concerned about his daughters?" Care, he said? For all of this time, he now learns how to care for his own daughters?

"Unfortunately, my name is not Lithia, Your Highness. In fact, she's your biological daughter. She requires more of your attention. Don't try to appease me with such petty acts. It's not going to work on me. So if you wanted someone to accompany you in your loneliness, better call that stupid woman instead. Rather than calling your MONSTER daughter." That's what he calls me back then. When we were having an argument.

"That's not what I mean—" I don't like to hear any more words coming from his entire being. I stood up before I curtsied. "The ominous princess will take her leave, Your Highness. If you have something to say, then please write it on a piece of note and send it to my mother's office. I will make sure to read it." I excused myself from his chamber and walked out. It wasn't a pleasant feeling.

I felt like I was being bombarded by a swarm of arrows.

"Hel?" A voice caught my attention as I gaze on my mother, who's smiling in front of me while opening her arms widely. I hug her tightly as I try to keep it together.

"Would you like to talk about it?" I shake my head, but she cupped my cheeks as she locked her gaze in my eyes. "I'm your mother, aren't I? It's not good to keep it inside. It'll make you feel bad." I sigh as a sign of defeat. How can I even refuse to mother?

We're the only ones who've managed to keep each other alive for too many years.

The maids prepared some refreshment as we started to have a conversation in her own garden. Mother isn't a big fan of plants, but she does enjoy flowers with sweet fragrance.

"Your father, can you forgive him?" I was taken aback for a moment as I stared at my own reflection in the coffee. It's easy for her to say it like that, but my hatred towards the Emperor can't be measured by a cup of tea or coffee.

"If mother can give me one million reasons why, I might consider forgiving him." She looks at me with such worried expressions as she sighs.

"Do you think you're being hard on him?" How can she even take his side when that man almost kills me? "I'm not sure about that. I just treat him like how I treated everyone else." There aren't any exceptions. We're all humans.

"Have you ever investigated about the case?" I return my gaze to my mother as she looks outside of the window glass. "What if he's not the one who planned it?" What?

"Mother, you were there—"

"Yes. I was present at that time. But I reassure you he wasn't the one who tried to kill your maid or you." But they haven't even heard about the footsteps.

"Are you trying to say that he's been framed?"

"Your father wants to discuss it with you. He informed me about your meeting with him. I was going to head in his chambers, but I saw you." But all he ever did was ask me foolish questions how can I even know about it? He should've just talked directly.

"Your father wanted to change—"

"Is it because he's going to die soon and wants to make amends for his mistakes?" The audacity of that old man to change when it's too late already. I may not be his true daughter, but he neglected his responsibilities as my father and he wanted another chance to redeem himself?

For what?

"Hel—"

"Mother, I'm sorry to break it to you, but I'm not Lithia. I can't forgive someone even if they die begging on their knees. That's how I was raised. I may be able to forgive, but I will never forget, so how does forgiveness work?" It was like you forgive the person by words, but there will come a time that you will tell it to other people so how was that considered as forgiveness if you can still remember it?

Because if you forgive someone, you will forget what they did. And I'm not that kind of person.

"Your father is investigating on that matter. He will prove his innocence." What can it even do? It doesn't hide the fact that he's a useless father and Emperor. He didn't even come in that day to prove the knight's innocence. I just killed innocent people and yet he doesn't even protect them. What kind of an Emperor is he?

"I will also work on my own, Mother. Thank you for informing me." I stood up before proceeding to curtsied.

If he isn't the one who is attempting to bring me down, then I might as well kill that person with my own hands.

Forgiveness, they said? That's ridiculous.