Our lips almost touch

We both look up, startled.

"Oh, Dr Charles?" says Evelyn while she stands up quickly.

I stand up as well.

Oh, Dr Charles.

How are you doing?

I was still feeling a bit unstable.

I think he noticed it when he came over to me.

"I think I should ask if you are okay," he says.

I am alright. I say to Dr Charles, giving him a faint smile.

"Evelyn, why don't you help her to her bed," he says.

Evelyn nodded and helped me back to my bed.

I sat down slowly.

"Evelyn, why don't you go get Mia some water," says Dr Charles to Evelyn.

"I will do that," she says and leaves the room.

I look down while fiddling with my fingers.

"Is that jacket meaningful to you? he asks me.

I think for a moment.

Was it important to me?

Why did it comfort me soo much?

I didn't even know the answers to my own questions.

I sigh.

"You don't have to answer me if you don't want to. Just tell me what happened," he says.

I am not sick.

I am fine.

Dad was just worried about me. That is why he called you.

I am sorry for the trouble. I say to Dr Charles, not wanting to talk about this at this moment.

"Is it personal to you? Is it something that is sensitive to you?" he asks me gently.

No, I don't want to talk about it. I say.

"Okay, that is fine. Just tell me what you felt at that time, and then maybe I can give you some tips on how to cope with it if it happens again," says Dr Charles.

Dr Charles, I don't want to be mean.

But could you please leave?

I don't need your help. I say, getting irritated.

I heard Evelyn coming in at that moment.

I felt guilty for behaving like this towards him, but I really wasn't ready to talk about this.

"Okay, it is fine if you don't want to talk about it," says Evelyn while giving me the cup with water.

I took the cup of water from her and drank it.

"Why don't we leave her for now?" says Evelyn, and they both leave my room.

I put the cup down and go under my blanket.

I inhale the smell of his jacket again.

I didn't know why but it really calmed me down.

*Evelyn's Pov:*

I gently close the door.

Sorry about that.

She is having a hard time.

"It's okay. I understand her. But she needs help. I don't think she wants to admit that," he says, frustrated.

I know that, but she is just not ready to open up to anyone yet.

We should give her some time. I say to him.

"Whose jacket is that? It seemed important to her," he says.

I don't know either, but I noticed it as well.

I trust that she will tell me when she is ready. I say, feeling worried for Mia.

"Yeah, we should do that. I am sorry that I was acting like that. I am the doctor, but I forgot that for a second," he says.

It's okay.

No one is perfect. I say to Dr Charles, taking a step forward when I trip over my own feet.

I was soo scared that I would fall when he caught me.

When I looked at him, he was looking me in the eyes.

After a few seconds, he says:

"You can breathe now," he says, smiling.

I breathe out slowly, embarrassed.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

I nod my head.

"Aren't you going to say something?"

Why do you look so handsome? I ask myself.

"Do I?" he asks, laughing.

Oh, you heard that? I ask him, terrified.

"I wasn't supposed to?"

Well...

It was more for myself. I say.

He laughs again.

I put my hand on my mouth.

What was wrong with me today?

"You don't need to feel embarrassed. You look beautiful, too," he says while putting my hand down.

You think? I ask him.

"Of course, how can I not?" he says while letting me slowly stand up.

We were still looking into each other's eyes when I remembered what Mia and I had discussed.

I don't know where my courage came from, but I slowly got closer to him.

I stopped for a second to see if he would back out, but he didn't.

I slowly put my hands around his neck.

When our lips almost touch, someone coughs.

I quickly let go of him.

It was Olivia.

"I hope I didn't disturb anything," she says.

I knew she was holding in a laugh.

"No, no, you didn't. I was just about to leave," says Dr Charles while he leaves quickly.

When Olivia saw him leave, she ran towards me.

"No, girl. You didn't just do that," she says while silently screaming.

I did. I say, nodding my head.

"Okay, okay, we can celebrate this later. How is she doing?" asks Olivia.

Mia told Dr Charles to leave.

She didn't want to tell him anything.

We both go in to check up on her but notice that she is sleeping.

Olivia sits next to her.

"Luckily, she doesn't have a fever," she says while touching her head.

I am worried about her.

It all started when dad and mom started to argue.

Do you think she has trauma? I ask Olivia.

She nods.

"Uh, wasn't this the jacket she wore that day?" Olivia asks when she notices Mia wearing it.

I nod my head.

"Why would she have it on?" asks Olivia.

I asked myself that question too.

But when she put it on, she calmed down immediately.

I feel like she had met him before.

"Did she say anything about the boy that brought her home?"

No, when I asked her about it, she avoided it.

"She told me she had met him before," says Olivia.

Really?!

They knew each other.

I knew something was going on! I say.

Olivia then tells me the whole story.

I was shocked when she finished.

No, she didn't do that! I say to Olivia.

"Yup, she did," she says.

This girl is braver than I thought. I say.

But she also asked me if it was weird if someone made her feel a certain way, although she didn't want to. I say to Olivia.

"That is kinda what she said about the hot guy," she says.

What! No.

Tell me more.

"She said that he gave her mixed feelings. That he made her feel something she hasn't felt before," she says.

Ahh!

Girl, you think what I am thinking? I ask her, excited.

Olivia nods her head mischievously.

It was the same person that she was talking about! We say at the same time.

We laugh.

"But now we need to figure out what he had to do with this jacket. Was he there that day, and what was he doing?" says Olivia.

That is what I am thinking as well.

I think this jacket is his, but how?

And what does he have to do with the horrible event of that day?

"We need to figure this out," says Olivia.

Like detectives?

"You read my mind," she says, smiling.

Let's leave now before we wake her up. I say, and we both leave her room.

*Mia's Pov:*

^No matter where you go, I will never leave you alone. She says, laughing at the top of her lungs.

I ran away from her as fast as I could, but she was there no matter where I ran to.

Why?

Why won't you just leave me alone? I say, crying.

"Because you don't deserve happiness when I am in this misery! Because you are nothing! You are worth nothing! You are a monster who doesn't belong here! You deserve hell!" she says, screaming.

But what did I ever do to you?

"Existing! That is what you did wrong. It would be best if you hadn't been born in the first place. You should have just died the moment you were born," she retorts.

Dead is better than existing in this world with you! I say to her, my hands shaking and unable to feel my legs anymore because I am tired of running.^

I wake up with a heavy feeling in my chest, gasping for air.

I begin to cry, bringing my legs to my chest.

It felt like the air was knocked out of my lungs.

Crying for what seemed like hours, I stood up.

I look at the time.

It was 5 o'clock.

I go into the bathroom and take off my clothes.

I slowly go into the shower.

I touch my wounds one for one.

With each one I touch, I remember the awful events.

From my chest to my stomach, I keep going.

I doubt they will ever leave me.

They will always stay to haunt me.

To remind me of my place.

Maybe I didn't deserve all this.

Maybe she was right.

Maybe I was a monster after all that was in the wrong place.

A place it wasn't supposed to be.

I sit in the bathtub hoping the water will drown me.

Hoping the pain would stop.

No one would notice if I was gone.

No one would remember.

Isn't it better for me to stop breathing? Aren't I just wasting it?

I don't deserve it at all!

I hoped that I would finally be loved and happy after I was gone.

After what appeared like an hour, I got out of the shower.

I blow dry my hair and put on a hoodie and joggers.

It was six o'clock by now.

I was sure that Olivia was awake, so I went downstairs into the kitchen.

"Good morning," she says the moment she sees me coming.

Good morning. I say, giving her a faint smile.

"Are you okay? You look a little tired," says Olivia.

It's okay.

I will be fine after eating your food. I say to her.

She gives me a big smile.

"Are you sure?" Olivia asks.

I nod my head.

"That is good because I made your favourite breakfast," she says.

Really?! I ask her, excited, wanting to be happy for the last time.

"Yes, but you have to promise me to finish it," she says, looking like my mom.

Of course, I will.

How can I not finish your food? I say while giving her a big hug.

"I only made it for you so that you can cheer up. So after you eat it, you have to forget everything and have a happy day today. Will you promise me?" she says.

I promise I will try. I say to Olivia.

"Good. Go sit there, and I will bring it over, okay?" says Olivia.

I nod my head and sit at the table.

Olivia comes over.

"Here is your Shakshuka, and you have your toasted bread here," she says, putting down two plates.

Aren't you going to eat with me? I ask her dipping the toasted bread in the Shakshuka and putting it in my mouth.

"No, you just finish everything. I still have something to do," says Olivia.

I nod my head while eating.

Mmmm, it is soo good. I say.

"I will eat with you," says someone out of nowhere.