I understand him more than anyone

"Done checking me out?" he says close to my ear.

I look away from him, embarrassed.

Do you... I wanted to ask something, but words were not coming out.

"Do I what?" he asks, smiling like he knew what I was going to ask.

Do you want to stay over tonight? I ask him almost with a begging voice.

"Umm, let me think about it. Does my breathtaking girlfriend want me to stay over or not?" he says, acting like he is thinking.

Don't go.

Stay here, with me.

I would want you to stay. I say, almost whispering.

"Then I would want nothing but to fulfil her wish," he says, whispering as well, just enough for me to hear.

My heart was jumping up and down from happiness, but I acted like I was okay.

He gave me the sweetest smile, which made me blush.

I looked away from him so that he wouldn't see my tomato face.

Nathan went back to sit next to my father, and they started talking again.

We all chatted for a while, eating Olivia's dessert.

I told Olivia to sit with us, and although she refused at first, she sat down after dad told her to join us.

Everyone went back to their rooms because they were all tired.

I went to dad before he went upstairs.

Dad, do you mind if Nathan stays over? I asked him, afraid he would say no.

He smiles.

I give him a confused look.

"Nathan had already asked me long ago if he could stay with you tonight which I allowed him. He is more than welcome to stay here since he is part of the family now," says father kissing my forehead and going upstairs.

I looked over at where Nathan was standing and saw him smirking.

When did you ask him? I ask.

"Before I left," he says, smiling.

I smile softly at how he knew my thoughts before I even did.

Shall we go to my room? I asked him, knowing that he was tired as well.

He nodded his head, and we went to my room.

I felt myself becoming nervous.

Why? Why was I so nervous?

This wasn't the first time that Nathan stayed with me.

I looked back at Nathan when we were in my room, only to bump against his hard chest.

Do you want to take a shower? I ask him looking down.

"I just took a shower before I left home," he says.

Then wait for me here while I go take a shower.

Make yourself at home. I say, almost running to my shower.

I put off my clothes, acting like I was blind enough to not see my scars. Seeing them would always put my confidence down.

It would remind me of the things I never wanted to relive.

After I had finished showering, I noticed that I hadn't brought my PJs.

I facepalmed myself.

What shall I do now?

I can't go out like this.

I open the door a bit.

Nathan? I say.

"Uhu?" he says back.

Can you close your eyes?

I just need to get my clothes. I say with nervousness.

He coughs.

"Okay," he says.

I open the door and run to the dresser, but I trip over something.

I groan in pain.

"What happned? Are you okay?" he says, coming over to me.

I wince in pain, and he helps me up.

I was still looking at my arm in pain when I noticed that Nathan had seen me like this.

I looked at him, and he was looking at me already.

You... You... were supposed.. to close your eyes. I say, stuttering.

"I am sorry, but you look so sexy at this moment. How can I close my eyes?" says Nathan, like it was the most challenging thing to do.

I blush at what he said.

His eyes were piercing through me.

I leave his grip and go into my dresser room with my heart beating fast.

After taking in everything that just happened, I quickly put on my PJs.

I quickly blow-dried my hair and put on some perfume.

When I went out, I saw he was already on the bed.

He pats on the place next to him.

Slowly I go and sit next to him.

He puts me closer to him, putting my head on his chest.

I listened to his heartbeat, which was just as fast as mine.

I put my hands around his waist, feeling his abs.

I blushed, remembering he showed me them.

We stayed silent like that for a while, just listening to each other's hearts.

I opened my mouth, wanting to tell him something, but then closed it again.

I wanted to tell him why I kept having nightmares.

I wanted to tell him what I had been through all these years, but nothing. Nothing came out of my mouth.

It was like I was drowning in the ocean and couldn't speak, no matter how much I tried to.

"My father... my father, committed suicide two years ago," says Nathan taking deep breaths.

With shock, I looked him in the eyes.

I could see pain and despair in his eyes.

There was something else; betrayal, like his father, had backstabbed him.

I didn't know what to say or what to do.

Maybe that is why he was so vulnerable when I did the same.

He looked away from me, looking in front of him.

"I was really close to my father. He was my best friend, he was my everything, I could tell him anything but after he died, I couldn't understand how I didn't see it coming. Why didn't I see him struggling?" he says.

A tear fell down.

My hand automatically went to his face to wipe it away.

Soo many emotions were going through me, but I knew it was worse for him.

"He knew everything about me. When I was sad and when I was happy, if something had happened at school or if I needed him, but when he needed me the most, I wasn't there. I didn't know until I came back from school and I saw my mom crying on the ground," he says.

I instantly put him in a hug, knowing it was the only thing I could do.

"I saw him there lying lifelessly. I felt like my world that I had built with him for 16 years had been broken down like it had never happened like he never existed," he says, sobbing now.

Maybe it was his way to find peace. I said, trying to comfort him.

"I know, I know, but did he have to be soo selfish to leave us behind? To leave the people that loved him the most," says Nathan shaking a bit.

I didn't know what to say.

I felt like he had to say soo many more things, so I kept quiet.

"I wanted to leave with him. I wanted to go with him soo badly. I wanted to have him by my side, but I couldn't... I couldn't do that to my mom. She would have no one left if I had done the same as my father."

The thought of not meeting Nathan scared me soo much.

"I started distancing myself from everyone, even my mom. My mom had a hard time, just like me. She was suffering in her own way. I started joining my boss," he says.

As a gang member? I asked him the question that had been stuck in my head for a long time.

He looked at me, shocked at the fact that I knew that but just nodded his head afterwards.

"I met Lucas there, one of my best friends now, just like Ian. I started to forget a bit. Having them by my side made me feel like my father had sent them to me to tell me that he still cared," he says, smiling a bit.

I let go of him and looked into his eyes.

I know it is selfish of me, but I am so happy that you didn't leave. What would I have done if you wouldn't have been here?

Now when I look at my life, I can't imagine not having met you. I say, putting my forehead on his.

He looks at me with teary eyes.

I am so sorry. I say after a while.

He looked confused at me, asking me with his eyes why I was apologising.

I am sorry that I was selfish enough to want to leave. I say.

I still... I still had thoughts of wanting to leave and find peace, but with Nathan by my side, I couldn't help but think that I could overcome this. I couldn't help but think of a life with him.

Please don't hate your father.

I understand him more than anyone right now. I say, letting a tear fall.

"I don't hate him. At first, I did, but then I told myself that there must have been a reason why dad wanted to leave soo bad. And don't apologise. Although I lost the chance to tell my dad this but I will always be by your side. I will be there for you when you need me," he says.

I know, me too.

When you have problems or want to share something, know that I am always here to listen to you and share your burden.

I wanted to crash my lips with his so bad.

As if he read my thoughts, he closed the gap between us and crashed his lips with mine.

I kissed him back, wanting to show him that I was there.

After what felt like minutes, we let go and gasped for air.

I looked him in the eyes again.

I kissed his forehead, cheeks, and nose, then gave him a quick peck, to which he chuckled.

He lay on the bed, patting his arm and gesturing for me to lay on it.

I smiled and did as he told me, taking in his scent.

He put me close to him, enough for me to hear his breathing, which calmed me down, and we drifted off to sleep.