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12 years ago

After the producer shouted cut I paced out of the studio towards the hallway where other actors were being prepared for their upcoming scenes. I don’t know what just happened but it felt strange, stranger than I expected and stranger than I think it should. The Kiss. My scenes for today are over but so are Vincent’s. I can’t see him for a while, I need to come to peace with it that this will happen another three times, and that nothing probably will change. I feel like a love-struck girl. Vincent probably doesn’t even have feelings towards me and I am here daydreaming about him and me, together.

Let’s just survive this evening.

Or not.

Because right now Vincent is knocking on our connecting door asking if he could come in.

“Pan? Are you in there?” Why does he have such an addicting voice?

“Can we please talk? I want to tell you something.” He mumbled as I heard him leaning against the door. The urge to grab the key that is resting on my side table is almost uncontrollable.

“Alright, if you don’t want to talk then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” I hear him walking away. But as my urge takes over and I sprint towards the key and then unlock the door I stand there, seeing him reading a new copy of the Davinci Code for the thousandth time.

“Hi.” I murmur. His eyes look at me over his glasses. He always wears glasses while he is reading. It makes him look more sophisticated than he already is. He puts down his book and jumps off the windowsill and walked towards me.

“You wanted to talk?” He nodded and stared at me.

“Your birthday is on friday.” He speaks.

“Yes, it is.” I normally don’t celebrate my birthday, my parents buy me something and that’s it. I don’t have any friends, my family is always busy, so celebrating my birthday wasn’t really a celebration ever.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Now I heard it from Steve.” He said as he made a strange face that made me laugh. Steve was a cameraman, more cameraboy, he always buys me flowers, but whenever I come back after shooting the flowers aren’t in the vase anymore, so I came to the conclusion that he steals my flowers back. Since then Vincent and I always found him a creepy guy.

“I don’t really celebrate my birthday.”

“Well that will change this year. I will take you somewhere fancy.” I am not so sure if that is a great idea, because the image of him in a suit in a fancy restaurant is too much for my poor heart to handle.

“That is not necessary, Vincent.”

“It is.” He insisted.

That evening when I laid down in bed, I imagined how Vincent would sit in front of me, sipping his tea, eating his steak. I thought back about today, the way his lips felt on mine, the way his hands held me firm in his grasp, the way my breath hitched when he bit my lip slightly, the way my heart thumped against my rib cage when he whispered in my ear. A blush covered my cheeks once more and for the first time I imagined how it would be if he was laying down beside me in bed. I quickly shook my head and told myself that this is dangerous territory.

Friday came fast, shooting was going well and everything seemed to fall in place. I finally found my place here and I was more social than I ever was. Vincent and I didn’t talk this entire week. He was off to Scotland where he needed to shoot scenes where I didn’t need to be. I missed him. He was a big reason why I didn’t mind talking to people, he somehow gave me confidence and now that he is here I thought that I would go back to my insecurities, but that wasn’t the case.

Vincent came back yesterday night. I heard something fall in his room, but I couldn’t really comprehend that it was him otherwise I would’ve jumped out of my bed and ran towards him, but my sleepy head was too sleepy. But it was finally Friday! I can’t wait to go to the city with Vincent! I have no idea where he plans to take me but I can’t wait.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard so many ‘congratulations’ in a day. People gave me flowers or chocolates. Some gave me handwritten cards. Everyone was so kind, and I thought that birthday’s weren’t really celebrated here on set, but I was obviously wrong.

Black or Light Blue?

Which colour dress should I pick? The Black one is tight-fitted, silk, reaches mid-thigh, has a V-neck, the back is cut out. It is winter and I think I would absolutely freeze wearing this, this also doesn’t really seem elegant or classy. So the Blue one then.

The Blue one isn’t tight, it has a corset element at the top, a flowy bottom, it has blue flowers embroidered on the dress. I will wear a blazer on top so I won’t freeze. Seems like a plan.

This is the first time that I wear this dress. It is absolutely stunning. I look like a true princess. Definitely now that I’ve turned 16. It has been a while since I’ve worn heels but they are the only shoes that fit with this dress.

“Pandora? Are you ready?” Vincent calls against the connecting door.

“Yes!” I say before I unlock the door.

He walks into the room but when his eyes set on me he stops walking and takes a deep noticeable breath. His eyes scan me, I feel somehow exposed. His eyes eventually rested on mine. As I finally looked at him, My heart really exploded. He looks like a true gentleman. He is still fixing his cufflinks as I study him, he is wearing a three piece black suit, leather shoes that I only see in movies and a black tie that finishes the outfit.

“Like what you see, Love?” He flirts. I was very much staring and I still can’t look away, but feel like I have to.

“I don’t mind, please, I hoped I would get this reaction.” He smiles and walks closer to me. I’ve already gotten used to the fact that my neck cracks every time that I look up to him when he stands close to me. He studies my face for a bit. This is the first time that I’ve put on make-up, I don’t really like covering up my face to look prettier, and my lips are already red on their own so I’ve never bothered, but today I thought that perhaps I should.

His hand comes under my chin and moves my face, so he can see every angle.

“You’ve put on make-up.” He states.

“I have, I thought I might need to because we are going somewhere fancy.”

“Never ever change for me, or for others, you look stunning the way you are. But I can’t say that I don’t like the way it makes your eyes pop out.” He speaks slowly and somehow passionately. The words make my cheeks heat up and he immediately smiles at the reaction.

“Shall we, my lady?” He speaks sarcastically. Before I smile and walk with him out of the hotel.