70 "She Is Not You"
How it was that Damian was now standing in front of the door of Rafał's room, he himself could not understand. Nor could he understand why his heart was beating so hard when he knocked on that door. Damian felt as if he had suddenly, without knowing at what point, lost control of reality.
The door opened and Damian saw two bright green jewels sparkling like stars. Two meadows bathed in spring sunlight, full of joy and life. Two mystical green flames.
Something happened, something strange. Something squeezed Radosz's heart, burning it to the temperature of molten iron. Reason left him suddenly, all thought left him, and like a gaunt animal he threw himself at Rafał's ponderous mouth, parted in astonishment.
The door closed behind Damian with a slam. Did he close it or did Brylski? It didn't matter. What mattered were the gentle yet strong arms that embraced him passionately and the nails he felt even through his shirt.
Rafał was asexual? That had to be a joke! This man was hot sex himself!
Their tongues danced entwined, thirsty, though wet. They didn't crave water, they craved love.
Without a word, because there was no time for one, Damian helped Rafal pull off his T-shirt and clung to that arousal-flamed body. God, how passionately hot it was!
Without a word, because there was no time for it, Rafał stuck his hand up Radosz's zipper, where his manhood was quickly growing to a proud size, and groaned.
Damian thrust forward without a word, leading them toward the bed. The only light in the room was the orange and gold glow of the streetlights. By the time they fell onto the bed - Rafał on the bottom, Damian on top - Radosz no longer had any pants or underwear on his ass. Rafał pulled them off him to avoid wasting time...
Radosz shuddered with delight. Brylski's passion was like a volcano and Damian felt that in a moment lava would flood him. It would burn him, incinerate him, turn him into nothingness... But it was that nothingness in Rafał's arms that he wanted to be at that moment.
Damn it! Goddamn it! Fuck!
He pressed his lips even further into the mouth of the man lying beneath him. He reached down to his crotch...
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
A naked chest, a naked firm belly, and in a moment, a naked pre-cum hastily freed from his pants and underwear. Rafał kissed his way down to that spot and took that passion-filled manhood in his mouth.
Rafał ran his fingers through his hair. He pulled his knees up higher.
“Take me...!” he howled pleadingly, flexing his body. “Take...”
Damian desperately reached into the pocket of his pants, which were still hanging at knee height. He pulled out the condom he had bought without even knowing why he was doing it. Thin but well-moisturized, with a clear indication of anal pleasure. He put it on awkwardly, focused on getting his tongue to moisten at least a little of that delightful entrance to the temple of Greek delights, and when he thought everything was ready (although haste forbade him to think realistically), he rubbed at the gates of pleasure.
“Uh...!” groaned Rafał painfully and Damian looked into the green jewels of his eyes. Jewels in which tears were glazing over.
Is it the pain, or is Rafał just like that?
Radosz paused. For a moment he considered pulling away...
“Don't stop” groaned Rafa.l in despair. “More...”
When someone asks for it...
Damian entered him and then...
***
Damian didn't dare to look into Rafał's eyes, but something irresistibly drew him towards them, so he was glad that they remained in the room enveloped in the faint glow of street lamps, not the harsh light from the chandelier.
“I thought you wouldn't want to have sex with me again," Rafał confessed quietly. He was lying on his stomach, with his face turned towards Radosz and looking at him with those incredible eyes of his. “I know you're not gay.”
“You're not gay either.”
Radosz, on the other hand, was lying on his side looking at this beautiful man, whose naked shoulders and back drew like an extremely attractive landscape.
“Am I not?” Rafal wondered. “I don't know. You know I've never slept with a woman. I've only slept with a man. So I guess... I'm him...”
“Does that bother you?”
Damian couldn't help himself and touched his golden red hair that fell across the man's forehead. He brushed back a rude strand to better see those gorgeous eyes, which this time contained no tears.
“Better than I had before. Besides, I don't know why, but with you...”
Radosz couldn't see it because of the bad lighting, but he had a feeling that Rafał was blushing. Why else would he press his face deeper into the pillow?
“So I'm... special?” pleased Damian. Damn, he shouldn't be happy, but he was. Being special to someone as special as Rafał Brylski was... special.
“Do you really have to ask that? You took my virginity, gave me pleasures of the flesh I never even dreamed of and you have to ask that?”
The sweetness of those words was so great that it squeezed Radosz's throat. His heart pounded as hard as if it was about to explode. Good God, could Rafał be more appealing in his sexy innocence? Could he be more alluring?
“I don't have to, but I guess I find it hard to believe that I could be that important to you. It's just beyond... my imagination.”
“I don't understand it myself," Brylski confessed. “Damian... Why is it that only you have this effect on me? Why are you the only one who gets me hot? I wanted to be with a woman, I had the opportunity to be with one of the most beautiful women in the country, but I could not. I didn't want to. But when you came along, my whole body...”
“Is that true?” Radosz felt a stab of jealousy in his heart. “Did you want to be with someone else?”
“I can't stay the way I am now...”
The way it is now, that is how, Radosz pondered. As a man sleeping with another man or as a sex friend?
Yes, neither of those solutions was ideal for Rafał. Who knows, maybe it wasn't even comfortable. In any case, neither option was a recipe for a good, normal life that a man might want. I guess.
Brylski shifted position and twisted to the side. Damian saw his stiff, ruddy nipples. He swallowed his saliva feeling his manhood rising savagely again.
'I can't do this to him,' thought Radosz unable to take his eyes off those tempting little buttons. 'I can't deceive him and take his body without being able to give him a future. But I can't turn my back on him either.'
“Rafał, what's happening between us, I don't understand it. You know, there have always been only women in my life. Even now...”
Brylski looked down.
“You have someone” he guessed. “Serious.”
It was an ordinary, obvious truth, but Damian felt as if the whole world suddenly collapsed.
“I'm sorry, I...”
“And yet you came back to me. Then it was something unforeseen, incomprehensible, you could have explained it away by acting on the spur of the moment, but now... you're back. What are you missing with her?”
What a direct question! And yet not without foundation and... quite wise. Rafał had something that Justyna didn't have and that Damian needed. What was that something?
After all, it wasn't about a penis! Radosz had never had such fantasies or such desires. If it had been about the man himself, it could have been anyone. But it wasn't about that. It was about...
“I don't know," he confessed helplessly. “I can't understand it. She is a good woman, beautiful and all, but she is not you. She's not you.”