7

I press it so hardly on my skin that is cuts. I look at my hand in frustration that it not moving. Why can’t I do it? Why can’t I just cut myself? I want too but I just can’t. My phone rings catching me off guard. I accidentally slice my wrist. I immediately cover it with a cloth that I found on the ground, while I look for my phone.

It hurts. My hand hurts. My chest hurts. I just want to scream, it is so frustrating that I can’t do anything about it. I apply pressure to my wrist while I finally grab my phone. I sit on my bed while I look at the caller ID, it’s Haley. I hold in my tears while I pick up my phone.

“Hey.” I say in the most cheerful I can muster.

“Hey, what are doing right now? Can I come over?” She asks sounding concerned.

“No it’s fine. I am just in my room doing nothing.” I say while my voice cracks. I press on my cut. It has stopped bleeding. I open may drawer and pull out a bandage.

“I’m coming over.” She say in urgency.

“I am fine.” I say trying to convince her.

“Stop trying to convince yourself. I know you better that anyone. You saying I’m fine is a lie. I am coming right now.” She says while I hear her get keys. I sit silently on the other line not saying a word.

She has known me for 3 years now. She knows like the back of her hand. I have had her with me at my worst times. She had been by my side at my worst times. I feel like I relay on her too much. I feel like I always go to her with problems. I really hate that I feel like I am not listening to her as much as she does to me. I want to stop her from coming but I know that she is the only one in the world that understands my situation. She the only that has stayed in my life.

“Ava! Are you even listening to me?!” I hear her shout through my phone. I come back to my senses and tears rundown my face uncontrollably.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I am the worst best friend ever. I know I shouldn’t have done it. I should be listening to you more. I should care for you more. This is so one sided. I am so sorry. I really sorry. If you don’t want to be my friend I understand.” I tell her while crying on through the phone. I can’t control myself and all I have done today is cry.

“Shut up Ava. I don’t care. I care about you. I have no problem that’s why I don’t have anything to say. I care about. I am her for you. Ava stop this nonsense, I am here for you because you are my best friend and I love you no matter what. So stop think for a second and I am going to be there in seconds. I pulling up right now.” She says on the phon with a soft voice. I hear a car park at the parking lot.

”Who’s car are you using?” I ask her. I look out the window and I see her walking out the car with her phone by her ear. Her curly black hair flows with the wind outlining her beautiful brown skin. She looks up to my window and smiles.

“My mom’s.” She says before cutting the phone and comes up stairs.

I hear rapid foot steps then muffled noise that turn into shouts. It’s Haley and Mike fighting as usual. I open the door to find him, John, Kevin, Oscar and Haley right outside y door.

“Mike, you are such a fucking jerk! You know full well that your parents are treating Ava like shit. You don’t have to do it too. Like the fuck Mike for once think about how she feels!” She shouts at him in anger.

“I don’t give a damn! She should know that no matter what her opinion doesn’t matter!” He argues back.

“I just hope that one day you could be treated like how you treat Ava. Not so that you get hurt. But so that you can understand how much it hurts her.” She says while she walks up to me. She grabs my wrists and I gasps in pain and they all freeze. She holds up my wrist and see the bandage on it. “Look what you made your sister do!” She says while she holds up my wrist. “I hope you rot in hell.” She says while pulling me and slamming the door.

I stand in front of her with shame. I look down unable to look her in her eyes. She gets on her knees and sighs.

“I’m sorry.” I say in a low voice.

“Stop apologizing. It’s not your fault but you need to find better ways to deal with this.” She say while she stand and pulls me to my bed. We sit on it while she stares and my wrist. “Ava, call me at least. Talk to me. Stop keeping it in. This is what happens, you explode and can’t control yourself. I just want you to be happy.” She says while she pulls me into a hug to comfort me. She pulls a way and sighs. She puts on a smile while she looks at me. “Let’s change the subject. The mood is down. Let’s lighten it up.” She says while she pulls my laptop from my dresser. She unlocks it and puts a funny movie. “Sooo Oscar?” She asks while eying me.

“No.” I respond knowing what she is trying to say.

“Come on why is he here?” She asks.

“There was a party and he was invited.” I tell her.

“You know what I mean. Why is here now?” She asks seriously.

“He just helped me with my panic attack and that’s it.” I say and she laughs.

“He likes you.” She states.

“No he doesn’t.” I respond.

“Wait a minute. Do you like him?” He asks me.

”No I do not.” I say firmly.

“Oscar.” She calls him. I panic and cover her mouth. She lick my hand making me pull me hand away.

”Eww disgusting.” I say while I look at her in disgust and I wipe my hand on her clothes.

“Why did you cover my mouth?” She asks.

“Why did you call him?” I ask back.

“He is my friend and I want him here.” She says.

“Well I don’t want him here.” I state.

“Why? Is it because you like him? Or are you ashamed?” She asks while smiling at me.

“ Ashamed of what?” I ask defensively.

”Okay I am going to drop it. You don’t have to be defensive with me.” She say while she turns to the movie. “Have you eaten?” She asks.

“Nope.” I respond. She pauses the movie and grabs my wrist carefully.

“Let’s go eat.” She says while she drags me downstairs.

We reach downstairs and we find John, Oscar and Kevin sitting in front of the TV; Mike is no where to be see. Haley looks at them with an evil smile on. I wonder what is she thinking.

“Have you guys eaten?” She ask them. They all look at her with full attention.

“Nope.” Kevin say so fast.

“How about we put to grab something to eat?” She asks and it finally clicks. She wants us to be in the same car together.

“Yes, I’m starving.” John says while standing up.

“Sure.” Kevin say while standing I finally get to look at him properly. He has a very innocent face but his body is ripped. He even has a sleeve tattoo on his right hand.

“I’ll go.” Oscar says while standing up. He is wearing sweatpants and a hoodie.

“Okay we will take my car since it’s big enough. I will drive.” She says while she runs to car.

“Shotgun!” Kevin shouts while running after Haley, so I guess I am sitting with John and Oscar.

We turn to walk to the car.

“Where are you guys going?” I hear Mike’s voice. I turn to already find two tall backs facing at me. John and Oscar stand in front of me blocking me from Mike.

“To eat.” John says harshly.

“Okay wait for me.” Mike says.

“You are not invited.” Oscar says bluntly.

“Honestly after what you did to your sister I don’t think I can ever trust you alone with her again.” John says in a disappointed tone. Mike looks at me with fire on his eyes.

“Look what you have done. You have turned my friend against me.” Mike say angrily.

“Listen here buddy. You did this to yourself. Maybe if you treated your sister better this wouldn’t have happened.” Oscar say while I turn to grab my wrist softly.

“Mike reflect on your actions.” John says before walking away.

we get into the car to find Kevin and Haley are fighting over the AUX cord. I sit in between John and Oscar. Haley turns to look at us.

“What took you guys so long?” She asks with a smile on her face.

“Mike.” John say and her smile drops. I hear someone clear their throat and it is Kevin.

“Let’s not ruin the mood.” Kevin says while grabbing the AUX cord and plugging it to his phone. “I am putting the music.” He announces. Haley turns and switches on the engine while clearing her throat.

“Let’s go.” Haley says while she drives the car out of the parking look. Kevin puts Pop smoke, Dior. John starts singing and Haley follows, both of the out of tune. I smile at them. Kevin joins in, making laugh at their terrible harmony. I loo at Oscar expecting him to join in but I find him staring at me with a smile on his face.