I spent over a month in rehab, my reaction at the hospital seemed to convince the doctors that I was out of my mind, I wasn't though, or maybe I was.
I couldn't really give thoughts about myself with knowing that he no longer exists.
I was taken and admitted to the rehabilitation facility after my psychotic reactions and behaviour at the hospital. I wasn't the only one, anyways.
Thousands of fans were in the same condition, the only difference was my agony was much deeper and different than theirs.
For the rest of the fandom, their idols had vanished away. The only moments they had with them must have been those of concerts or fanmeets or maybe even for the much rich fans, a backstage private meet.
They all were struggling to let go of those memories.
But as for me….
It was far more complex…
They were the only family I was left with, they were the ones that made me feel loved and protected.