webnovel

Lost in our Youth

Without any resolve or motivation to move further with his life, Alastair Duncan, a failed author, is coerced by his imaginary delusions to recount the events of his previous book. The further he dives into his memories, however, the further down his life spirals into an abyss of self-hatred and confrontation with the man he once was.

Rudolph_Kirkland · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
19 Chs

Firmness

Today is a new day and still, nothing new seems to approach my mind. With no new revelations, my morning proceeded the same as I woke up yesterday. I wake up, make tea, eat breakfast, water my garden, and accomplish whatever it is I have in mind. However, even though mundane days are something of good value, today was not any normal day I had experienced.

Elizabeth, who had come in elegant attire and inside of a carriage, offered me to accompany her on a trip to a foreign country.

"To where?" I asked.

"To Stadt der Festigkeit." She announced, "I've already asked you about this yesterday, didn't I?" It was only within that moment did I recall about her proposition yesterday.

"You have already given her your word, right? You should accept." Richard said in support of Elizabeth as he observed the conversation by my side.

"Of course, I am quite surprised and happy about it, should I prepare my luggage now?" I asked Elizabeth after considering Richard's advice.

"You haven't prepared it already? Well, fine, but do be quick." Elizabeth urged me.

It took only minutes for me to prepare a suitcase thanks to my cottage's small size and only a second to quickly hop inside the carriage. I was very much grateful for this unexpected trip. Even though I have no clue as to why Elizabeth would be attracted to Stadt der Festigkeit, a town known for its political division and strife.

To dive into more detail of this town, better known simply as Festigkeit, is currently located in the northern area deep within the mountains and is led by three fearsome representatives that rule three sections of the town. The eastern section holds the power of creating laws for the land and strongly believes that government should assume full control over the land, the western section holds the economic power of the town and firmly believes that government must loosen its control over the land, whilst the middle section spearheads the decision making of the country's affairs and it is in this section where most of the conflict occurs between the two sides.

I have heard many rumors of what happens in Festigkeit and all of them can only make people worry about what may come. Though they may all seem to have gone mad from their own ideals, everyone possesses a valid point on why they hold their ideals as high as their heads. There have been sayings that a certain amount of time can attract an unsuspecting person into the abyss of political thought. I do not consider myself engaged within the political world but I sincerely hope that I will not have to be dragged into it alongside Elizabeth.

As the carriage moved on, the both of us would exchange comedic stories of when we were younger as we usually did back home. We traversed for about five hours through beautiful plains, ominous forests, and vast valleys until the buildings of Festigkeit were clearly seen.

The tall towers emanated the brilliance of the city's architectural progress from its gold-like patterns. Even when our carriage was quite a distance away, we were able to hear the sounds of industry coming from the city and smell the scent of oil and smoke. We made sure to keep the carriage doors locked and the windows tightly sealed as we entered the streets of the city. men and women were seen proclaiming and preaching their ideals from the top of their lungs while the children were practically fighting in groups just as how kingdoms would wage war against each other for material things. The rift between the people was as present as the smog that enveloped the streets.

Despite the conflict within Festigkeit, Elizabeth and I were able to arrive at our hostel safely and secure our lodgings without any form of disruption.

Once I was finally settled into my room, Elizabeth came out from hers and asked of me as she entered, "Have you made yourself comfortable already? If so, might I ask that you accompany me on my walk to the school? I have some business there and I want you to accompany me."

"Of course." I replied quickly considering I should give her my thanks for her taking me here.

I prepared my attire once again and left for the downstairs lobby of the hostel. At the entrance, a tall and slim figure of a man was seen by Elizabeth's side. The two of them took notice of my entrance and introduced me to Elizabeth's acquaintance. Reginald was his name and as sharp as his attire was, so was his occupation that being, a professor of Festigkeit's one and only school. Once the introductions had finished, Elizabeth and Reginald conversed in the country's native tongue. Me, being awkwardly flushed out of the conversation by their complex words, stood in silence and waited for them to notice my lonely presence. Both of them glanced at me suddenly while they talked, I thought it was amusing at first but perhaps I thought that I may be here for a more sinister plot.

"Apologies for keeping you waiting, Alastair, shall we go on now?" Elizabeth said with a smile that seemed to possess no ill intention towards anyone.

"Of course, but do keep me in mind that I know nothing of the language here." I replied.

We walked together through the dense smog filled with aggression and ill manners. Keeping ourselves occupied with a conversation, Elizabeth was able to make me and Reginald closer with her helpful translations. It fascinates me to know how composed and well-mannered Reginald can be despite the horrid and divisive atmosphere that surrounded him.

"My passion started when I was a young lad." Elizabeth translated Reginald's words, "My parents had separated, and I was to live with my mother. The very idea that it all started with small disagreements scares me to this day, and that same fear was what brought me up as a man and an educator for the youth."

"How crushing it must be to live under such circumstances." I said, "How come this fear you speak of seems to control the outcomes of your life?"

"Perhaps it might be because I hate the idea of loneliness." Reginald's face became more morose as he spoke, "Though almost everyone who lives here already has their own political standing, I try my best to not dive into such things only to find myself as lonely as I feared." His words were depressing and filled me with regret from asking.

Fortunately, before things could get more depressing, we arrived by the entrance of the enormous and majestic school of Festigkeit. Its gates were made of pure white marble and lustrous shining gold that would arrogantly shine the splendor of the city. Upon entry, the children acted like soldiers, competing and fighting for playground territory.

"Ignore them," Reginald said, "If the children have been influenced by this world to continuously fight over these things, then we do not need to interfere since they do these things out of their own free will."

"Even if they get hurt? Surely this is no proper manner of teaching children." Elizabeth stated with a hint of anger inside her tone.

"You must understand, Elizabeth, though I wish that none of these children to have fates similar to my parents, they must learn things such as patience and understanding with a willing heart and mind just as I had, even if it means that they will have to endure suffering to learn it." Reginald stated his thoughts firmly with such confidence that his students will act properly in the future.

The doors were now flung open by Reginald and we followed him inside the school building's wide hallways. Surely, Elizabeth felt a tad bit regretful for coming here just as I had but even with such frightful thoughts, this is a school, an abode of education, there is not the slightest possibility it would house any sort of criminal activity. Each step we took down the vast hallway was filled with nervousness and anxiety until we both stopped suddenly.

In front of us was one quaint and dark wooden door, Reginald proceeded to open the door and escorted us through it. Inside was a small and almost empty room with only one window to the outside world. There were shelves of books that were seemingly written in my language to the right of the door; towards the left of the door was a painting of a three-headed beast overlooking the city in all of its glory. Between these two, laid two small tables and a chair.

"Though it may seem to be that of a pauper's quarters, I assure you both that the wear and tear of this room is nothing to be afraid of. I pray that you may quickly write your story well." Reginald told me, but I was quite confused by his statement that I looked at Elizabeth as if she had made a mistake with her translation.

"Forgive me, Alastair, but another reason as to why I brought you here is so that you may write for the children here." Elizabeth explained to me in vivid and horrifying detail.

"Oh, well, you could have just asked. After all, if it was something pertaining to stories, I would have…" I paused for a moment and realized what was happening, "Oh my, you want me to write for those little devils? It would have been better to ask of me sooner so that I may stay at home and be left all by my lonesome." I lost a bit of my calm and threw a small fit that was well-deserved.

"I am not asking you to kneel and die now, Alastair. All I ask of you is that you would please write a simple and short story to occupy Reginald's class, please?" Elizabeth pleaded with me with innocent eyes like a child begging for toys.

"And what will the two of you be doing whilst I suffer here?" I asked to know just why my services must be needed.

"Reginald will be helping me with certain business matters for my family. In return, I thought it would be nice if I were to have you to keep his students while we are gone."

"Fine then, I'll take upon this task myself."

At that moment, I was left all by myself within this quiet and sullen room. The silence filled not only the confines of this place but also the chambers of my mind as I stood blankly at the empty piece of paper upon the table. It was only when I laid my eyes upon the beast's painting that I regained a sense of imagination. It was a nostalgic feeling that beckoned me to continue writing, I did not know of it at first but the name of that work eventually came moments after. As I stared towards the empty piece of paper again, Richard, whose presence I had not missed at all during this desperate time for comfort, bent his head down close to mine and whispered: "Shall we continue?"

"Continue? You mean the story I had told previously?" I asked in a monotonous tone since I grew familiar with his unexpected appearances.

"Of course, there has to be more to write about isn't there?" Richard urged me on.

"Yes, but I have to ask, why must you be so insistent with this specific story of mine? I ask of you, cursed creation of my mind, why is it that you must consistently pry into my failures always?" I grew annoyed with Richard and became somewhat content when he appeared to be offended.

"How should I know? Your subconscious thinking created me, why not ask that?" He shot back at me with his words.

"You know, if you were capable of physical contact, I wish I could wrap these hands of mine around that neck of yours and gladly watch your life fade away into the dark rivers of death." My temper had burst and spoken gravely against Richard.

I became regretful for what I had done but instead of apologizing, I immediately sat down and resumed my work. Though I may be alone with Richard again, I must stand firm to prepare what material I could make for Reginald's students.