Blaming Myself 1

The girl led the boy around everywhere. They were passing by stall after stall, buying food and wining prizes from just about anywhere they passed.

There was currently a fireworks festival being held tonight. Most of the locals came to see, as evident from the swarm of so many people. One wrong move, and you could be separated from your group.

Of course, the same could be said from them. They came were with four people: the boy, the girl, a friend, and the boy's sister. It was currently just the two of them, leisurely enjoying the time they spent together today.

Not long though, they both rested at a random bench in a park outside the stalls with a lot of toys won from the mini games and food that they bought from the stalls. The girl kept munching on every single one of them.

"Ahh! That felt refreshing!" the girl said after she gulped down some juice. "I've never had this much fun in a festival in a while!"

The girl was wearing a green yukata, with flower designs all over them. It stood out quite nicely because of her short red hair. You could say this was the perfect combination.

Not long even after they sat, the fireworks started going through the sky. One by one, they all exploded, filling the quiet of the night sky with bursts of light. Colors exploded, dancing across the darkness. It was as if the stars had descended, casting their glow upon the earth, enchanting the world with their celestial display.

"Wow, so pretty~!" the girl said.

The light reflected from her blue eyes. For the boy, this was much more of a sight for him. He could see her entire face from just the light of the fireworks alone. He thought that she was the most beautiful girl in the world.

Although the fireworks was still ongoing, the boy couldn't take his eyes off of her. He could tell that nothing could ever make him avert his gaze from her spectacular of a figure. The girl hadn't noticed this yet. Or perhaps she did.

Before long, the fireworks display that felt like it lasted a lifetime finally ended. It became more and more quieter as it settled down, and it was only then that the girl had noticed that the boy was looking at her.

"You didn't watch the fireworks, didn't you?" she asked, smiling.

"Sorry. Your beauty overpowered it, so I missed it," he said, smiling back.

The girl leaned her head on his shoulder. It felt warm for the boy, as if she was embracing his entire being, accepting him for who he was.

"You liar," she said.

"Sorry."

They both stayed like this for a while. They let the darkness of the night engulf them. It felt like time stopped for the both of them. And the boy was grateful for all of it.

"I wish we could do this forever," the boy said.

"Who knows? I'm just enjoying the time I'm spending with you and not thinking about the future."

"You know you can't do that forever."

"Oh, yes I can!" the girl said jokingly.

She leaned her face close to him as she said that, making their faces just inches away from touching. It didn't make the boy uncomfortable nor did it make him unsure. He was completely ready.

And it wasn't long that she started giving him his first kiss. A moment that they'd both remember for the rest of their life.

***

The alarm started ringing. It sounded loud as if a hundred men were blowing horns directly into my ear. Although I was feeling a little sluggish, I managed to kill off those hundred men by turning off the alarm.

It was currently 07:00, June 22, Thursday, as stated by the clock. There was only an hour and a half left before school begins. I headed out of my room and into the bathroom. I washed my face, washing the drowsiness that cane with it, and I was now feeling a little refreshed.

After wiping my face with a towel, I headed downstairs and into the kitchen. There was a plate of omelette rice covered with plastic. There was also a note in the front.

You seem to have fallen asleep when we tried speak yesterday, so I just left you alone. Just make sure you consult me next time ( ＾-＾ ) — Tomo-nee

There was also a list of instructions written down at the bottom of the note if I wanted to heat it up. I was wondering if that meant she allowed me from cooking, but it only said that I could only use the microwave.

Now that I thought about it, it seems that I didn't come downstairs last night when Tomo-nee decided to hear me out. I'll have to apologize to her later. Just doing that makes me feel bad, as if we were on a messaging app and I was just leaving her on read.

Mom seems to have come back home from work, as evident by the dishes that was placed in the sink. There were some possibilities that it could've been from Tomo-nee or Dad, but since they were the cook of the house, it was only natural they'd be the ones to wash the dishes as well. Both Mom and I are just grateful for them for washing the dishes we ate at.

I couldn't see Mom anywhere, but that's probably because she's sleeping from working so late. I really admire her for that.

I unwrapped the plastic from the plate and started eating. This moment felt reminiscent for me. It's already been a year since I last ate one of Tomo-nee's lunches, and I miss them.

While eating, my mind suddenly wandered off into space and in the dream that I had earlier. It was still fresh in my head, the details still clear as glass. Although it was supposed to make me feel bad, it actually just felt reminiscent like last time.

It was just some random fireworks festival that just so happens to be at the exact date of both me and Mari's first year anniversary. We were both having a good time. If you were to compare both of us from them and now, we would appear as complete strangers.

She was really cute back then as well. We both knew each other well just from one year of dating, and somehow, we felt like we were really compatible with each other. Even now—

"…But there is no even now," I said to myself, somewhat pained.

Just then, I heard the door to our house open somewhat vigorously, and then heard footsteps running towards my direction. It all happened so fast that I didn't even try to think of who it was and just guess it.

You would think this sort of activity could definitely be something like illegal trespassing, but if that person trespassing you was your childhood friend, then they'd probably be good. Let's just say that the person trespassing happened to be my childhood friend.

Yumi opened the door to the kitchen. She appeared to have already dressed up for school.

"Taku-chan, something bad is happening at school!" she shouted she reached for something in her pocket, somewhat struggling. It was enough time for me to think of a response.

"Really? That's good news to me," I said, uninterested.

"This is not good at all! Look!"

She took out her smartphone from her pocket after struggling for a bit, she showed me the screen. It was opened in a messaging app, and it looks like a bunch of random stuff. Girls talking through messages sure are complicated. I think I pieced it out, though.

Basically, it was a problem from the swimming club, which Yumi was a part of. Yumi did go home with me yesterday, which could mean she wasn't a part of any clubs, but that's because she does so every other day, and that day happened to be yesterday. But going back to the problem, they seemed to be having trouble regarding clothes.

"I get most of it, but what's the last part?"

"One of our juniors took the clothes of our club members and hid it again while they were going out for a swim!"

"Okay, that is kind of worrying, but what does that have to do with me?"

"This is going to sound as my most stupidest request I have ever asked for, but could you please lend me your bike?"

"…"

"D-Do I take that silence as a yes or no?"

"Calling it your most stupidest request is kind of absurd, don't you think? Just go, you already have my permission."

"Yay! Thanks, Taku-chan!" she said after hugging me, rushing back outside.

The door closed, and silence once again enveloped the entire house. To put in simpler words, unlike back then when Tomo-nee was still around to make me lunch, it felt lonely. That's the only word that can explain what's happening right now.

But I needed to focus on something. Yumi took the bike, so there was only two ways that I could go to school. I could ride a train from here to there, which will just take like a few minutes since the school was just one train ride from here. The other one was just walking, but that'd take too long that I'll arrive at third period.

After I finished eating, I immediately went back to my room to get my uniform on. After that, I went outside with my bag in hand. I started walking towards the train station.

It wasn't much, but taking taking a stroll around the neighborhood again was somewhat comforting. The morning breeze felt cool as well, though the sun was getting hotter because of the summer.

Before long, a lot of people started showing up, heading in the same direction as me. Today was a rush hour, with some people either in their suits or uniform, ready to work or go to school. I was naturally one of the people that's going to school.

Just when I was about to get my ticket to ride the train, I felt like something was wrong. And there was something wrong indeed. I forgot the most important thing needed to get a train ticket, and that was money.

Now two choices was presented to me again. I could either go back home to get my wallet, or just walk from here all the way to school. The only being is that both of these options would take quite some time.

I noticed that I was bothering the line, so I went ahead and got out. Just when I was about to do that, a familiar red hair suddenly appeared, waiting in line. It was Mari Shinkawa.

"Hey," she called out to me, making me stop dead in my tracks. "Where are you going?"

"…I'm going to ride a train."

"You didn't get a train ticket though."

"…You wouldn't know that."

It was somewhat unnatural. I didn't know how to put it, but it appeared as though we were both having a normal conversation. I'm not going to deny that I did miss those times, but it just felt unnatural at this stage.

I didn't move an inch from where I was. I don't even think I could move. Just trying to shake my hand was already pretty hard for some reason. It didn't take long before I could move again though, albeit struggling a little.

"You're not skipping school like you always do," Mari said, suddenly grabbing my arm.

"…What else am I supposed to do? I don't have any money with me today."

"So you lied when you said you were going to a train. Here."

She handed me a one-way ticket that she bought.

"I'm surprised you forgot the only thing that runs society. You're usually so keen about stuff, even trivial ones."

"…I've got a question," I said.

"I know. It's about that, isn't it? Let's get on the train first, then I'll explain everything."

We both exited the ticket machine and into the actual station. We both deposited our tickets and got on a train that was just about to leave. It was crowded all the way in, but we couldn't get separated because she kept her grab on my arm tight.

The first thing I noticed about this was that it felt somewhat unreal. She was grabbing my arm, yet it feels as though she was grabbing my whole being. We both grabbed the handrail. We were just by the door, and since it was really crowded inside, Mari needed to position herself in front of me. She was just the same height as Yumi, but it felt like she was small enough that I could just have her for myself.

"So, about yesterday," she started. "I'm really sorry about that. It just happened at the spur of the moment that you didn't have much time to think, right?"

"…"

Just remembering what she did to me yesterday felt somewhat empty. She kissed me all of a sudden, so like she said, I didn't have time to think. I just became like that of an empty husk the moment she left that classroom. The emptiness I felt at that time was overwhelming me, even now.

"So about why I did that—Wah!"

Suddenly, the whole train car swayed, making everyone inside sway as well. The person behind me suddenly pushed me without meaning to, and now my body is pressed against Mari's.

"Ah, s-sorry…," I said.

"L-Likewise…," she said, rather meekly compared to her tone while speaking with me earlier.

This time, no words were exchanged. All that could be heard was some footsteps, probably the people adjusting themselves, and the train car going through the rails. It wasn't going to be long before we reached school.

Yet that somehow felt like it was far from reach. I knew that taking the train instead of bike was much faster depending on the person, but it just felt like I was once again moving in slow motion.

We stayed like this for a while. Mari didn't move one inch, and neither did I. This position was the only thing that made us close to each other once again. Thinking about it like that, my mind was once again moved towards that dream I had earlier. I swayed my head to get that thought off, which made me budge towards Mari, making our bodies press against each other more closely than before. Even that didn't manage to make Mari move an inch. I couldn't move in my position at all as well because of the crowd behind me.

The speakers announced that we were reaching out station stop soon. The only thing that we needed to do after that was to get off. Although I was just by the door, it felt as if I was stuck in a tight spot. Thankfully, the train was starting to slow down. Everyone was getting ready to go out the moment the door closed. I was still stuck in my spot, but. I didn't need to worry because I was already in front of the door.

I felt something being placed in my chest. It felt warm and comfortable as the sensation of it enveloped my chest. The source of it was not something I expected.

"Even I'm trying to forget about you, Takuma-kun…," she said, her forehead placed on my chest.

After she said that, the doors from the train opened and she got out of it, walking away from me. I didn't move an inch, and the only thing that managed to get me out of the train was the rigorous pushing of the crowd behind me. It wasn't long before I was out of the train and behind the yellow line.

Even that didn't make me walk. Although I knew my time was running short, I didn't even start walking to school nor did I even move from my position. Some people bumped at me, but they paid me no attention.

In the end, even though I was feeling somewhat empty, all I could do was force myself to walk to to school. Because like she had said and done: "You're not skipping school like you always do."