A Nostalgic Echo

-Chapter 1-

Recollecting all the painful memories I encounter most of my life, there is one occasion that struck deeply in me. A memory that made me feel, calm.

It was the same time when my soul couldn't keep up with everything anymore. I was on the verge of giving up.

I stood there, looking as the sun starts to rise. I scoff and thought that maybe I should have done this when it's still dark. I don't want anyone to see me so desperate as if I am in need of great attention.

As my hands grip on the cold metal of the balcony, I embraced the warm wind that brushes through my body.

As I thought, this was truly the perfect timing.

At the moment I was about to step up, a ranging voice stopped me.

It was in that day and age, I realized...

Someone's voice had peeked into my soul and somehow gave me a piece of time to let me continue.

* * * * * * * * * *

2 years later...

"I'm off." my voice murmurs as I open the front door.

Mondays. I've hated them more than other people have said it.

"Are you sure you have everything?" A hoarse voice coming from behind spoke. It was grandma who always stood by the door whenever I am about to go out.

"Yes," I answered. "Even lunch."

"That's good." Grandma walked towards me and pushed both my cheeks up. "Smile. You remember what I told you, right?"

"Frowning makes you ugly."

"That's right," Grandma said. "Now give me that smile."

I hesitated but then gave her the smile I can afford for now. In matters of smiling, a grade fit for me might be below 10/100.

"...We'll work on your smile after you go home. Now run along, you'll be late," Grandma said as she pushed me gently from the door. I nod and soon took off. This was the routine we've agreed to do. A very short conversation before leaving home and that's it.

I remember that you said that I should talk more so that people won't stay away from me. But who's to say that I'd follow? I ignored it and continued off with the atmosphere I always give.

Sometimes I wonder why did I even bother listening when I knew that I won't even follow it? I felt like I've wasted my time over something useless.

The school is quite far from my home. But taking the train surely will make the trip easier. As the train starts taking off, everyone is quiet. It's not bad, it feels quite delightful to hear this inaudible sound.

During the calm silence that filled the vehicle, a faint commotion took place right beside me.

"Mama, I want to sit."

"There are no more seats available, don't worry we're almost there."

"But my legs are tired..."

Hearing the conversation, I was doubtful whether I should help or not. Getting used to it won't be easy if you have gone far from that point of aspect.

"Uh—"

"Please take my seat." A young man spoke, assisting the mother and child to the seat.

"Thank you very much." The mother said as she sat down and placed her child on her lap.

"Thank you, mister!"

In this world, it is hard to make the first move. As much as not knowing the outcome is hard, doing the first move in a task is much harder.

What if you made a mistake?

What if the decision you made is wrong?

People who saw the bad outcome will automatically go against you and chose the other route, not knowing that both routes are beneficial. The only difference is that the way of performing them is different.

That is why the word hesitation was invented.

.

"Alright, that is all for today. Remember that there is a quiz tomorrow so be sure to review your lessons. Is that clear?"

"Yes."

"Goodbye class."

"Goodbye teacher!"

5:00 pm_ The end of class. Technically, the happiest moment for students.

The crowded space soon turned vacant as the number of people decreased. Well, a vacant room might be a good place to hang by yourself. No audio, no trouble, just you and the wind.

"Uhm, Asahina-san?" A mellow voice from behind called. "I was hoping if you could do me a favor...Is that alright?"

Curled hair, bold makeup, uneven clothing. Not that I am judging, but it seemed so that her plans require a very far destination. I nod faintly, giving a signal to allow her favor.

"Can you give this to our homeroom teacher? I have urgent things to do and I can't be late. Don't worry, I'll switch with you when it's your time for attendance."

She soon left, with the thin book laid on my hands. As much as I hated it, there is no choice.

"Asahina? What brings you here?" I gave our homeroom teacher the logbook and bowed before leaving her. I don't see the action as rude in my opinion. She's used to it now so I won't care.

I won't go home after this though. Not that I'm being rebellious like the other one, It's just mine has more importance than what she may have in store for her schedule. Since it was only a few blocks away from school might as well walk rather than waste money and be lazy.

"Welcome! How may I help you?" A woman by the counter greeted.

I handed her a piece of paper that grandma gave earlier. She explained that she will visit someone at a certain hospital and gave me a paper before I left for school. There was a name indicated inside so I was sure that this was the person she's to meet.

"Rokuda-san? Let's see..." The nurse pinned through the keyboard and tuned her hand to the monitor. "She's in room 215."

I bowed in response as I made my way to the second floor. I entered the room and saw grandma talking to an acquaintance.

"Speaking of which, this is my grandson, Yoruko." Grandma introduced me to a woman who seems close to her age.

"Good afternoon." I greeted which automatically brought a smile to the woman.

"He is very handsome." the woman complimented.

"Indeed. Many people often say that." Grandma said. "Yoruko, come here!"

I entered and headed to grandma where she gently held my hand and brought me closer to the woman.

"This is Yumeko, a dear friend of mine."

"Nice to finally meet you, Yoruko." The woman, Yumeko-san said with a smile glued on her face. "Fujiko used to tell me stories about you. No wonder she was so immersed about you, you are a splendid child."

That smile...

It kept bothering me for no reason.

.

"Stay with Yumeko for a while, okay? I'll just head to the bathroom."

"Yes."

The door shuts down, leaving only but us to entertain ourselves.

"It looks like you just left school..." Yumeko-san made the first move. I guessed it's not bad since I won't be able to do that anyway. I nod faintly, unwilling to talk.

"That uniform seems familiar...what school are you attending?" Here it goes. Not like I want to be rude correct? I'm not that of a bastard.

"Seikyo." Even so, I try to be as minimal as possible. We hardly met and I don't want to build a relationship with this woman.

"Oh, Seikyo Academy? My niece attended that school when she was in junior high. She's already in college and went abroad with her parents."

I couldn't think of even responding to her. I just don't have the energy and the courage to speak to people. Grandma knows that, that's why she hardly say things that make me talk. It was very kind of her, at least she understands.

The room slowly became inaudible, which broke soon after someone entered the room.

"Good afternoon, Yumeko-san. I'll be doing the check-up."

"Please, come in." The nurse went inside holding a device in her right hand.

'Must be a sphygmomanometer.'

"Hello there, and you are?" Her eyes darted around me—observing me. As a stranger, it's not malice that she would question who I am.

"He is my friend's grandson."

"I see."

Her blood pulse was getting checked—similar to my predictions. As I explore the now-audible extent, I just realized how big this place is for only one person to stay in.

"Did he left again?" The nurse's words took an immediate curiosity in me.

"I'm afraid yes. The moment I woke up, he had already gone out."

"Seriously that rascal! He always leaves without permission. The head doctors are getting worried about his attitude. They said if he continues this, his condition will go worse." Irritation...no, worry. Might not be visible but it's obvious she's worried.

"There is no telling that he'll stop. Let the boy get his freedom. I'll talk to him when he gets back."

The check-up finished faster than I had expected. Adding to that is the answer I recently got from secretly listening to their conversation.

"Did you get bored? You can go outside if you like. Fujiko will arrive soon so don't worry about me. I know some kids don't really like hospitals."

"No, it's alright." I took a deep breath, gathering up my pride to finally made the move. "About that..."

"You must have heard us a while ago. Since it's your first time here, I'm sure you have little knowledge about this place. I wasn't actually the only one who stayed in this room. There was this kid who always sneaks out of the room and goes back late. He was quite disobedient, but he is very polite when you get to talk to him."

That widens the answer more. Not that I was interested in the person, I was merely in need of a conversation at the moment. Seems that hospitals are prone to boredom for most people, and that includes myself.

"If my speculations are correct, he might have gone to his usual spot."

"Usual?"

.

I don't propose this place to be a good hiding spot. It's too, exposed, if I may.

Again, the purpose of this is to get away from the malice called boredom. Grandma came back after our conversation and enjoined me to explore the outside in the meantime. I know they're just gonna talk about private matters and I have no interest to know a single detail about it.

But she did say to go back at 6:30 so that we could have dinner. Grandma is the type of person who is always punctual in eating. She has a schedule that has the exact time that we will dine. What's eerie to me is that it even includes my eating schedule, along with what time I'll eat at school. I know, she is a fascinating person.

I remember this place very clear...

I also remember everything that happened on this very spot I am standing...

Coincidence? Maybe not.

It was a very cold afternoon. It was luck that my clothes were suitable enough to keep me warm. This place has always been colder than other places I've been to. It made me wonder if it's doing it on purpose or maybe it was me who was feeling cold. I have no clue myself.

I went closer to the balcony and placed my hands on the cold steel. I have no intentions to do it so safe to say, I will not die today.

How nostalgic am I feeling right now?

It seems that my conscience is urging me to do it. Nonetheless, I don't want to.

But...

Why do I feel so paranoid?

I can feel my hand shaking...

I'm sweating as if it was summer...

I-I...

I...can't.

My heart starts beating so fast, it's starting to hurt. My mind was clouded by fogs that I don't even know what I was doing. I never realized that I was already stepping on the railings. What's going on?

It was like...that day.

It's starting to haunt me again. I thought I was done with it but no. It has come back again. My eyesight starts blurring and all I can hear are murmurs from no one.

Make it stop.

I don't want this.

Somebody...

Anyone...

"What's wrong with you?" A voice called, saving me from the cloud of fear.

There. It came back again.

That voice that once pulled me out of the reaper's hands...It came back. The sensation that I once felt back then, has arrived behind my back.

My head turned as if it was being controlled by someone else. There, I was his face. I remember.

It was the same.

"Looks like I caught you right on time." His smile. His tone. Everything was similar.

He went closer and joined over as he stepped over the railing at the same time delightfully embracing the wind that had passed by.

"This view is very beautiful. It'll be sad if you try to jump here." His cheerful attitude had bothered me, it was like the woman earlier. But looking at him, It seemed that the emotion had faded out of my mind. All I can feel is...calm.

Coincidence? Maybe so.

-AR_PHANTOM-