Chapter 7

Harry was about to go get some lunch from the diner when his mobile rang.

Normally he would have ignored it, but in this case he had to answer it. The ringtone said it all...someone had called his phone and it had been redirected straight to his cell. And only a legitimate client could get in contact with him, since he had no patience for telemarketers.

"Yes?"

"Is this Harry Potter, barrister extraordinaire?" asked the voice.

"I don't have patience for idle chit chat. What's the case and what fee are we talking about here?" said Harry bluntly.

"The case is that the US Army is trying to take my suit, despite the fact I'm a civilian contractor. And after the amount of damage you did to that secret society kidnapping kids, I couldn't think of a better person to ask to tell the idiots in Washington to bite me," said the possible client.

Harry's eyes narrowed. The US Army trying to confiscate a suit from a civilian contractor? There was only one congressional hearing that this man could be talking about.

"Is this Tony Stark?" he asked suspiciously.

Hearing the dead silence on the phone, he had evidently hit that nail on the head.

Harry looked at the clock. Judging by the time, it would take S.H.I.E.L.D. another hour or so to try and confiscate Jane's equipment, and two hours after to find the traps he had set for them.

He could spare half an hour to piss off the US government. It wasn't like he had anything else as entertaining to do today, and Stark might give him a copy of the video if he asked.

"I'm in, but I want a copy of the video so I can watch the looks on the senator's faces later," he said.

"Deal."

Harry was out of New Mexico and in Washington before the breakfast rush. Sometimes it paid to wake up early.

(Across the universe, every sentient being shuddered. Nothing good could possibly come from an alliance between a lawyer Harry and Tony Stark in the mood to prank someone. Especially once Tony learned of how Harry tended to play pranks on Jane and the others when he was in a bad mood.)

"This hearing is now in session. For the record, why are you here Mr. Potter? I thought you operated out of England only?" asked the Senator, eyes narrowing.

"Stark is my client at the moment," he replied smoothly. The viper pin on his lapel made some of the less reputable senators shudder.

The Viper of England and Tony Stark together? This hearing wouldn't end as easily as the idiot had hoped.

The man coughed, and started reading the charges.

Harry listened before he rolled his eyes. This was a farce and anyone who had sense would acknowledge that.

Stark may have designed the concept behind the Iron Man while under contract, but he had created the 'true' version after severing ties with the US Military. The only reason he even had contacts with the Military is because half of the scientists they hired under oath were lacking in the imagination department.

Anyone with any real intelligence stayed independent of the military and any government. It may mean less cash and a bit more difficulty getting any restricted materials, but the freedom more than made up for it.

There was a reason why he had never joined a law firm like half his classmates once he graduated and passed the bar. If he couldn't talk his way out of a lawsuit then he deserved to pay for it.

Watching Tony hijack the screens and show the 'attempts' to duplicate his suit, Harry snorted.

"It seems to me that the only reason we are here, gentlemen, is because the US military is angry at the fact Stark decided not to share his new toy with you. Frankly I don't see why you are all complaining about the damn thing. Mr. Stark, if you would please bring up the cost for one of these suits, even if it's outdated?"

Tony raised an eyebrow, but the amusement factor was most definitely there. He obliged Harry's request, and several people stared at the cost of a single Iron Man suit. It was more expensive than an aircraft carrier!

"As you can see gentlemen, I really don't see why you lot are so desperate to get your hands on this armor. From the costs of the armor alone it's clear that it would bankrupt the US to even make more than one or two, if that. And with the state of the economy as it is, I seriously doubt that the citizens of this country would appreciate higher taxes just because you had to have the latest thing in armor."

Hearing the grumbling behind them, he had hit that nail pretty much on the head.

"In fact, so long as Mr. Stark continues to at least give the military and local law enforcement a hand with threats above their paygrade, I really see no reason why you actually need to steal his designs."

"Stark is a menace and a child! That man shouldn't have something as dangerous as that suit!" barked the senator behind this farce.

"Yes, but to be fair have you considered why he's even bothering to help you at all? Why could Mr. Stark possibly receive from helping people who couldn't hope to even own one of his products, let alone know who he is? He doesn't need the fame, everyone knows his face. He had no need for money if he can afford to make an entirely new suit with new upgrades. He doesn't need recognition from you lot if he isn't part of the military. So what exactly is Stark getting out of keeping his suit instead of giving it to you?" he asked bluntly.

The people behind them had a collective blink as they thought that statement over. Harry had a valid point. What exactly did Stark get out of being a hero outside of helping people? He didn't need the money, and if that expense report for even an outdated suit was right it wasn't exactly cheap to make. He had no need for the fame and he hadn't exactly gone back to being a playboy billionaire since Afghanistan and his subsequent kidnapping.

Seeing the senator turn a shade of red he hadn't seen since Vernon found out that he was being knighted personally by the Queen for forcing the magical society out in the open through entirely legal means no one could actually put him in prison for, Harry hid a self-satisfied smirk.

He had entirely too much fun with his actual day job. The fact Stark was paying him good money to poke fun at these idiots was a bonus.

The hearing ended in Stark's favor, naturally, and Harry found himself with an evil-grinning Stark.

"That was entirely too much fun," he said to his conspirator.

"I agree. It should be illegal to run rings around idiots like that," said Harry, letting his smirk out.

"You up for free beer?"

"I would, but I want to see S.H.I.E.L.D.'s face when they realized I trapped all the equipment they just 'confiscated' from a friend of mine. I wonder how that one-eyed warhawk will look when he realizes what exactly those computers are trapped with."

"You can't tempt me with something that funny and not tell me what you did!" said Tony giddy.

"What do you know of the internet?" smirked Harry.

It took two seconds for that to hit Stark, and he started guffawing.

"You didn't!"

"The most depraved stuff you can imagine, and I don't even watch what I bug the computers with. And the best part is that it's a special virus that their hackers can't remove until after the video is over...and it will infect all their systems on the network that the infected computer is tapped into or near. Jane nearly strangled me after she bought a new laptop and found out that the virus had gotten into her new system without me being near it."

Tony was having trouble breathing...he was laughing too hard.

"You have got to share the pictures of their face when they realize what you did!"

"Chances are you'll see Fury first. Do me a favor and have your A.I. friend take pictures of his face when he realizes that you know the one responsible for that trap. By the way, were you aware that your father had his hands on a special energy that rivals the palladium core you're using, but won't kill you?"

"Do tell," he said.

"Try looking into his old work from around World War Two. The Arc reactor was just the first step into the energy source he unlocked...and it might be in a place you wouldn't expect," said Harry.

Seeing the speculative look on Tony's face, he knew he had just given the man the biggest clue he could without telling him how he knew.

Harry got back in time to see Coulson swipe Jane's "book" though really it was a list of things S.H.I.E.L.D. had done wrong when they seized her equipment and a notice that if they weren't returned in less than perfect condition that he would be suing them to hell and back.

He had made sure to warn the blond idiot that while they were taking the equipment, they were also getting pranked. Heavily. And that he should let them keep what they stole if only so they could get the full effect and that Jane hadn't actually lost any of her work.

That along with the webcams set to go off at random intervals so that he could watch their expressions of disgust meant he would be having a fun day.

Harry found himself approached by a less than amused Fury a day later. Using Tony to deliver that message had been worth it. Tony had sent the look Fury had shot him when he found out who had boobytrapped the computers they stole.

"I must say, I'm surprised you never agreed to join S.H.I.E.L.D. Mr. Potter. A man with your talents would have endless possibilities."

"Not a chance in Helhiem. Do I look like an idiot to you? I prefer the freedom of picking my cases," said Harry.

"I was talking about your combat potential actually, though that brings me to another matter," said Fury, coughing awkwardly, "How do we remove those traps you so helpfully left for my forces to stumble on?"

"Ask Jane. It was originally a joke on her, though it took her four tries to figure out how to get out of them in less than five seconds. She finds them a nuisance more than anything now, though Darcy and Erik usually just hit mute and wait for the video to end before they exit out," said Harry cheerfully.

Fury made a point to talk to Ms. Foster, seeing as how Thor had already left several hours ago.

Jane had looked at him bluntly and told him to either hire a magical or bribe Harry with something he wanted. The only reason she had been able to figure out how to get out of those traps was because she had promised to let him breath again after the second one.

After that he gave her the easier to get out of ones.

Fury would try to strangle Harry shortly after finding his personal PDA infected by the mystery virus that was driving his organization up the wall.

Harry made good use of illusions while Tony laughed his ass off while watching the one-eyed war hawk try to kill his new best friend.

Harry found himself sitting with Tony at a race track. Apparently the billionaire loved his wit and wanted to hire him full time.

Harry suggested putting him on retainer and letting Jane play with all the toys Tony had access to in order to further her research. Then he met Darcy, and Pepper showed exactly how good her aim was with a tablet they had lying around as she threw it at his head.

She hit hard, but it was a damn good shot.

"So this idiot came up and tore the car you were in to pieces using some sort of whip? Seriously?" said Harry incredulous.

"And he was using an arc reactor!" complained Tony.

"Talk about unoriginal. Well congratulations Tony, you have your first super villain!" said Harry with a fake-serious amount of sincerity.

"You suck. And he knew about the poisoning!" whined Tony.

"Any luck tracking down Howard's last notes on an alternative to the Arc?"

"None, though I have narrowed it down to shortly after the war ended," said Tony irritably.

"...He opened up the last Stark Expo after WWII right?" asked Harry, sipping his scotch.

Tony blinked.

"You don't think...?"

"Worth a shot. Try looking at the Expo more closely. Howard doesn't seem to have a love for the dramatic like you do after Captain America went missing," said Harry. He had read Howard's bio. After Rogers went missing and he recovered some sort of cube thing that was driving Harry up the wall with half-recovered memories, he had developed the arc. An energy source which, as far as he could tell, was unfinished at best.

"So you coming to my party later?"

"Have to, if only to keep you from making an ass of yourself. In case you haven't noticed, your approval ratings among the average American has shot up after that congressional hearing. The last thing you need is to slip into your old patterns of behavior."

"Especially when I'm so close to finding that other energy you told me about. Looking into dad's notes, he mentioned something about a Cube which the HYDRA forces used to power their weapons...and last time I checked lasers weren't invented until after World War Two," said Tony.

Talking to Harry had two effects. The first was that Tony had a new perspective from the view of a man many considered the world's best lawyer. If it wasn't for the fact that he was choosy about his cases, he would have been swamped by work. He also took pity on people in hard times, which only endeared him to the public...as was the fact that he had taken the case against Anti-Mutant sympathizers for free.

With the recent revelation that Jean Grey was in fact a telepath, many were starting to wonder if she had been talking to her cousin during the infamous hearing where the Mutant Registration Act was shredded along with Senator Kelly's reputation.

The second was that he had a new, if snarky, perspective to look at things from. Harry could care less about his money, fame or toys. He was in it for amusement's sake than anything else. Tony could count him on the small list of people he could honestly call friend, let alone his emergency contact list in case of his death.

He knew Harry would be there if he was in a coma, if only to berate him in his rather sharp tongue on how much of an idiot he had been to get in that state.

Still, the fact was that Harry had given him something he had needed. Hope that he would live to see fifty.

As it turned out, Harry immediately placed a hex on Tony to keep him from drinking too much alcohol and replace it with water every time he got within a foot of anything with any alcohol in it. When told what he had done, Pepper had thanked him profusely.

Tony would have done more damage to his reputation if Harry hadn't stopped him from getting so drunk that he considered putting on the Iron Man suit in the middle of a birthday party.

Harry still lit into him for nearing doing something that could ruin all the work he had put into keeping the suit out of military hands.