Chapter 10

Harry tried not to laugh. He really did. But the second he heard Dean was tricked into handing over the keys of the Impala to a complete stranger...only to have his car protected by the territorial Bones in the back, he broke out in outright snickering at the man's expense.

"It's not funny!"

"Yes it is. You were convinced to hand over your precious car to a psychic like Sam, only this one thankfully never turned homicidal. His twin brother on the other hand..."

"He has a twin?" said Sam.

"He's one of a hundred dosed by Azazel. Relatively harmless, but his brother took offense to the knowledge his twin had been separated from him at birth. They have identical powers, by the way."

"Hey Boss. Incoming message from Sparky," said Gabriel. He had what looked like a phone in his hands, mostly to keep up the ruse he was alive.

"What does he want?"

"Death has two of the Gems, and is offering chance to complete set so long as you continue to guard the powers. Oh, and 'Mother wishes you well'."

"What."

"Apparently Hel took note that you had the Soul Gem, and was so pleased by the fact you don't use the Infinity Stones willy-nilly that she'll send the other two you way and eventually reveal the location of the last one. While it means Odin would have more ammo for his theory that you're collecting them for the power, it also means one less thing you'll have proof that you don't actually care for the power the longer you stay away from home."

"Dear magic... I don't want that headache. And I would avoid Asgard anyway because I'm sick of the place," said Harry rubbing his head.

What Odin failed to realize was that Loki had absolutely no desire to return. He should have figured that out when he cleared out his entire room and left only the bed. Or the fact he raided the kitchens and bought as much mead as he could under as many different disguises as he could think of so he wouldn't have to resupply any time this century.

He even had spice plants that were native to Asgard and the other realms so he wouldn't lack for familiar tastes!

"You know at this rate I might as well take a vacation in another alternate universe..." sighed Loki.

Sam looked at his friend wide-eyed.

"You'd come back, right?"

"Considering I recently kidnapped an angel because I apparently pissed off the heavenly host more than I anticipated, and I still haven't outpranked the resident Loki, of course I would come back. Besides, you're the first real friend I've had in a very long time that wasn't enamored with Thor because he's a 'super hero'."

"To be fair, he reminds me rather strongly of Dean when he has foot-in-mouth syndrome," said Sam dryly.

"HEY!"

"Wait, did you just say you kidnapped an angel?" said Sam, Loki's comments finally sinking in.

"Someone sent Castiel, the angel I based Dean's personal AI on, down to get rid of me. Probably because they were either really pissed off by me sending Azazel on a one-way trip to heaven, or more likely someone realized that whoever sent him up could level the playing field enough that humanity could take care of this on their own," said Loki dryly.

"How did you kidnap him?" asked Dean.

"You know how I have 'empty' arc reactors lying around the house waiting to be charged? I figured if it could hold a portion of the Tesseract's power, then it could easily hold an angel's true form. They're basically ascended beings who can take human hosts, after all. It wasn't that far a stretch," said Loki shrugging...before he grinned "Besides, I'm waiting for Castiel to get used to being stuck in there before I let him out of my house to wander the RV. He keeps having panic attacks."

"I would say you're evil, but you're the best lawyer I know, so I would just be stating the obvious," deadpanned Dean.

Loki smiled rather angelically at him.

"I stand corrected. You're more evil and terrifying than any demon," said Dean flatly.

"So if you're going on vacation soon, where will you go?"

"To the only version of the Asgard I've found that aren't complete idiots and actually strive to improve existing technology. Should be good for quite a bit of laughs," said Loki with a straight face.

Sam went through that comment in his head, and there was only one race known as the Asgard that would fit the bill...and give Loki quite a bit of amusement at the expense of his brother and family.

"Dude...take me with you!" said Sam.

"Sammy?"

"He's going to the series Stargate: SG-1! The one where the Asgard are the same little gray men that keep appearing in human tales about aliens, and where Loki is the one who keeps abducting people!" said Sam eagerly.

Upon finding out yes, aliens did in fact exist, Sam got into quite a few Sci-Fi series. As a consequence he was an even bigger nerd according to Dean. Stargate SG-1 was a cult classic that spawned several spin-off series.

Dean ran that statement through his head and tried to visualize the boisterous blond musclehead he had met to a little gray alien. He started laughing.

"Oh god, count me in too! That would be hilarious to see tall, blond and hammer-happy next to his alien double!" cackled Dean.

"Once we find Loki of this Earth, I'll take us all on a very much overdue month long vacation...if only so we can mock Thor endlessly later. To be blunt, I've been needed some new tech to play with anyway," said Loki chuckling.

Dean and Sam were in jail, awaiting Harry's arrival. They had gotten busted during a case, and for once Sam couldn't talk their way out of it, despite being a board-certified freelance lawyer thanks to Harry.

Thank you online courses.

Harry walked in, radiating clear disinterest in the cops themselves and a self-assured gait that had the detectives on edge. It was painfully obvious what he was, the question on their minds was who his clients were.

The female detective looked like she had bitten into something extra sour when she found out he was there for the Winchesters. No wonder they kept getting off murder and felony charges...their lawyer was one of the most vicious and downright ruthless she had ever met.

It begged the question how a high school drop out and a freelance lawyer like Sam had befriended the man.

Harry snuck into an abandoned building and with a blasting hex broke down the wall that hid the body. He then called it in to the woman's personal cell, making sure Gabriel blocked the caller ID. By morning her partner was arrested for murder and the brothers were cleared.

Dean looked at his brother.

"I think it's time we saw if Harry really can talk his way out of anything, don't you?" asked Dean.

"Absolutely."

Sam called Harry in, because there was a rash of crossroad deals and they wanted to confirm Harry really could out-deal a demon. Either way it would be funny to see what happened.

The only issue was that he wasn't alone.

"No freaking way..." said Dean in awe.

Tony Stark was with him.

"So why exactly is Iron Man here?" asked Sam.

"Long story short, he got put on medical leave and Pepper was out with the flu and unable to keep him from getting into trouble. So in order to make sure he actually heals from his rather serious injuries, she asked if I could babysit him since I can just stun him with magic without hurting him. He's with me for a month, and you're free to geek out as much as you want Dean."

"What about Bruce Banner?" asked Sam.

"Bruce will be coming later. He's still worried that the Hulk will cause trouble, despite the fact I could easily handle him now. Well and he was told he would have to pay for any damages from his little sparring matches with Thor by Fury after the last time," added Harry as an afterthought.

It was actually an addition to the same bill that forced super villains and super heroes to pay for the damages they caused. As a consequence, Bruce and Thor had to go off-world to let the Hulk get his rampages out safely.

"So where's this infamous Impala I've heard so much about?" asked Tony cheerfully. Dean grinned and gladly lead Tony to his Baby, and the two struck up an easy conversation of classics versus the newer models...which quickly went to a long conversation of classic rock to the more modern music.

There was a reason why Iron Man was Dean's favorite Marvel hero.

Sam looked at an amused Harry.

"So why did you call me anyway?"

"Long story short we want to confirm the theory you could out-deal a demon. Figured this was as good a time as any to see if your silver tongue could outtalk the devil himself," said Sam.

"Gabriel, I want you to record this moment for future amusement. Let's find someone who still has enough time left on their deal for me to work with...if they deserve a second chance that is," said Harry with almost sadistic glee.

The Winchesters weren't the only ones who wanted that particular question answered, and it had been far too long since he had a real challenge for his ability to talk people out of trouble. Out-dealing a demon sounded like great fun, as goading humans in the courtroom did eventually become rather dull once you had the opposition pinned.

Tony took one look at the satisfied smirk and had to ask "Okay, who the hell did you unleash the Viper on?"

"Viper?" said Sam.

"Harry's nickname in the courtroom. He strikes as fast as a viper and his poisoned barbs tend to leave the opposite side in tears. It's actually how I first met him... I hired him to go after Congress when they tried to take the suit, and he showed them that the idea simply wasn't financially feasible for the amount they were likely to order. A single platoon cost more than most air craft carriers, a fact they were unaware of. Should have seen their faces when they found out where Harry got the figures."

"I help him out once and he never left me alone since. Fortunately the fact he actually has a brain kept me from driving him off."

"So who did you unleash Harry on anyway?" asked Tony.

"A crossroads demon. We figured if anyone was able to out talk a demon trying to get someone's soul, it would be him. Turns out we were right...though I have to admit, seeing a crossroad demon piss itself in fear was not what we had in mind," said Sam.

Tony snorted in amusement.

"So you met Crowley yet?" said Tony.

"Who?"

"Demon in charge of all crossroad demons, he was in the books," said Tony.

Thor wasn't the only one who read the books. Practically every Avenger had, at some point, picked up a copy out of either boredom or curiosity at what sort of series Loki read. Most of them had read the entire series.

"I still can't believe we're part of a freaking book series," complained Dean... "You would think the shark would let us read them, but no, he has to keep them to himself."

"I'm glad you think I'm as pleasant as a shark, considering they're alpha predators," sing-songed Harry.

"Dude, when you go after people you have the same soulless eyes sharks do...and you're like one whenever you find something interesting," said Dean flatly.

"I'll concede that. You're like a shark with blood in the water and someone splashing when you're really in a vindictive mood and sense weakness," shuddering Tony.

"Actually I get why he won't share more than a few volumes with us. Too much information before we need it can cause more harm than good," said Sam.