Chapter 1

Honestly, I thought my cheat was something as lame as having native Japanese downloaded into my brain after getting kidnapped into another world. I mean really being dropped into the small Japanese city of Kuoh was enough of a brick to the face plus the whole language download to prove that this was almost certainly the DXD universe.

But when I shook the hand of the woman who gave me the information of where I was when she gave me a stupid business card for her husband's moving company that he worked for, my mind was utterly blown by the massive deluge of information that filled me making me hurriedly drop her hand and stagger away from the woman, with said Japanese's woman realizing my excuses that I got off a train drunk and had no idea where I was, was certainly a lie, and I was definitely tweaker or something.

"Excuse me sir but I have things to do." The woman said bowing before she beat a quick retreat as I leaned against a telephone pole and slid down it with my mind still drowning in information overload.

I knew the location of every single cell in the woman's body. I knew she had not been drinking enough water what with the large amount of sugary fluids in her stomach. I fucking knew the woman had burgeoning breast cancer for god's sake!

"Ughhh." I groaned loudly as I finally managed to mentally push down the full map of the woman's body while I massaged my head at the information overload.

Several minutes later I realized something though... My body had changed from my past mid-twenties bland American form as I had somehow in my throes of mental anguish copied over some of the DNA of the woman and if anything, I felt that I took on a bit of the world's air-brushed appearance.

"Wait how the fuck can I feel how I look?' I muttered in complete confusion until it hit me as my consciousness seemed to enter my body and I much slower than the total download previously began to scan my body from the tips of my toes and slowly worked my way up the complicated parts of my body and every bit of my body was within my preview like a god overlooking his subjects I could change and adapt my body however I desired.

Folding out my hand in my lap I ever so slightly made my fingernails lengthen by breaking down keratin elsewhere and reinforced the nails until I had a couple inches long small point fingernail that was far thicker than a normal nail then once reinforcing it to my finger, I errantly dragged it down a wooden post nearby when no one seemed to be looking at me oddly anymore.

My reinforced nails easily gouged the wood as I had made the nails literally almost monomolecular thick as I could easily control the individual amounts of alpha keratin present on the nail in question.

'Alright, Jake... The real question is what do I do now? Where am I in the DXD timeline? And most importantly can I set down my pride to be a servant to someone else for damn near ageless immortality being gifted to you, a robust magic system based on imagination that can catapult my already broken biomanipulation even further, and most importantly for said ability it will get me close to a waifu that I can easily seduce that has the very concept of destruction written into her bloodline that I may be able to copy to myself?'

Honestly, by saving Rias from her engagement I can easily see Sis-con Sirzech's giving me a pass straight to the middle-class devil, and then with the bullshit coming in canon like dealing with a rouge Cadre Fallen angel, I can easily get to High-Class Devil without waiting years like Issei had to because he was too obsessed with Rias's boobs to want to make his own peerage and deal with all the paperwork.

When I got dumped in DXD I didn't have any paperwork or anything like that, but I did have a small, metal-locked box dumped onto my lap, and I wasn't able to do anything with it as it was literally welded shut.

"So, this box was probably a bit of a test to see if I could open it with my powers..." I muttered as I picked up said box and went into one of the nearby alleyways and when seeing a park on the other side, I walked over there so I didn't seem like a creeper hanging over a locked box in an admittedly clean alleyway.

Once I got into the park and saw that with it being on close to noon, no one was even here as almost everyone was either at work or school, so I happily lifted up my shirt to do some nasty bio-manipulation that would undoubtedly scar people for life.

In my past life, I actually went to a welding school and knew a bit about dealing with metal especially clearly welded together, and knew that the metal that bound the metal was far weaker than most metals in general due to the ludicrous temperature it gets to without any real tempering.

Once I was damned sure no one was around I very slowly and carefully warped my hand into something resembling a mix of a hydraulic press with a sort of arrowhead at the end and a crabs' claw with how the hand shaped arrow ended hydraulic press was encased in a thick keratin to keep the bulging muscles from going everywhere.

I then braced the box on the concrete ground beneath the chair I was on and then I activated the reforged muscles within my arm and body as the arrow like tip of my new hand slowly pressed into the crease of the locked box and finally with a loud crashing noise the box was split in half as the thin solder shattered at the pressure.

Once the box shot open, I instantly began to change my body back and had to suffer the agony and pain of the nerves in the arm being shifted around as I was so scared of someone hearing and investigating the sound of the metal box screeching across the concrete but finally I was able to change my hand and the rest of my body back to normal despite the pain of not taking my time over the course of several minutes.

Thankfully with my thought that most everyone was super busy I was right as no one came to see what the noises was all about so once I got over the pain of turning my hand from a damned hydraulic press and then back into a normal human hand, I checked out the contents of the case.

"Well, here was the paperwork I wanted..." I muttered with my eyes twitching heavily at the familiar handwriting that faced.

"Hey other me! I decided after being the poorest Jake in the multiverse and being punted into a Warhammer 40k hive city that I wasn't going to be an immortal troll asshole like my patron Jake was... Any who, this school transfer papers will get you into Kuoh academy and should anyone ask where the rest of your paperwork was? Just say it was lost with how your immigration papers were burnt alongside a rather convenient government facility somehow collapsing into a sink hole and losing its paper and electronic paper trail for the month's new immigrants."

Blinking in confusion I had to reread what was written as even I had problems reading my chicken scratch of handwriting before I understood that this... Alternate Jake of me decided to ROB me and I honestly shuddered at the thought of being dropped in Warhammer and honestly DXD was just sooo much better in comparison even with the crazies around.

Once I got past my ever so minor identity crisis of infinite Jake's running around the Omniverse isekai'ing other me's I continued to read the letter.

"Now in order for you to actually interact with the world and yes be entertaining to the other Jake's who may check up on you, you need to join Kuoh Academy and as you almost certainly have found out by now, you have bio manipulation powers. But don't worry for one joining Rias's peerage won't be all that hard with the little knickknack I threw in as a welcoming gift to jumpstart your magical side of your powers. And as further encouragement to play my game, should you and the rest of Rias's female members of her peerage survive Kokabiel, then I will gift another very nice boost to your powers."

Finished up with the letter I moved aside the satin like cloth and beheld a gently glowing with holy silver light half a meter long horn of sorts.

" What's this horn supposed to be... I muttered as I looked at it with trepidation, as I well recalled the agony of trying to map out a human being earlier.

What a godly being thought to be an interesting gift to someone may very well prove to be as lethal as swallowing an enriched piece of uranium or something for a normal human.

"Well. If I die, I can always give him a bad review or ask to speak to his manager or something." I muttered vindictively as I prepared my mind for another drowning session of information-overloaded agony when I slowly touched the tip of my finger to the end of the horn.

Rather than the full map out of the creature I was scanning being dumped into my head, my consciousness was seemingly ensnared within hands of velvet softness as small tendrils of knowledge gently entered my mind slowly and I knew the Jake who sent me this was the one who had set something up to make sure I didn't all but assuredly die of a brain hemorrhage in the information overload of what damned bullshit cheat item he gave me...

"A true unicorn horn from a high-level cultivation universe?" I said in wonder as fragments of the unicorns' memories was transferred to me at behest of both the unicorn and the Jake who saved the Unicorn's child at some point and the horn was his repayment for his actions.

Note only was my bones and other like bits enhanced to an insane degree as I copied over the calcium-like structures within the unicorn horn, but my very blood was changed to match the life-bearing fluids within the horn itself and I could feel my dark blond hair turning a soft sun spun golden as the true holy nature of the unicorn imprinted itself upon me.

Not only was my body greatly improved I reacted to the memories within the horn and held up my hand with a soft glowing spring green and autumn golden light appearing within it as I received the two primal powers of the unicorn besides its healing and cursed blood. Undying Spring Educement, and Eternal Autumm.

Undying Spring was the representative of the boundless vitality within me and would provide an active powerful healing corona energy around me while also having a passive aura of contentment that would soothe the holy energies of the unicorn allowing all that were pure of heart to approach without burning to ashes. The Eternal Autumm however was on the complete opposite end of the spectrum as it violently ripped out the lifeforce of everyone around the unicorn besides those that has drank the blessed unicorn's blood.

Finally, the fragmented memories that simply explained the most barebones abilities of the unicorns' traits faded from my mind with the glowing essence of the unicorn going inert before the Unicorn horn literally broke apart into dust that blew away in a... Very opportune gust of wind that smacked me in the face with seemingly a pile of leaves.

Deadpanning I moved aside the cloth that the unicorn horn was on and saw another little note at the bottom of the box.

"You better appreciate all the help as the other Jakes don't like the extra bit I gave you, but I say fuck them. The first Jake that married his Jump-Chan generic goddess gave the green light so if you see them don't worry about them, despite their being a couple dozen of us we have never ever killed one another so just relax as despite our power we are all rather chill for the most part..."

"Except for that one Jake that got dropped inside Kuro-Inu... He absolutely hates NTR for good reasons so make sure to kill or incapacitate Issei before he joins the peerage if you want to waifu Rias and the others." The note ended and I could only hiss as the note burst into flames and I took from the note that, that poor Jake probably got cuckolded or something when he turned his back and his waifu's got taken by orcs or something...

'Yup first thing I am going to do is get to Kuoh Academy, get enrolled, find out where Issei lives, and maybe mentally fuck with him to summon his Sacred Gear before I deal with him.' I thought as I took the warning very seriously and honestly, I didn't give a damn if Issei lived as I wasn't friends with him... And if he stands in the way of immortality and godhood like the rest of my alternates?

I can get therapy for murdering him in cold blood.