It can't be

"She's alive!" The nurse that gave me CPR shouts. The other nurses cheer and clap, not losing me. They just walk out except the one that performed CPR on me, a different nurse than I had yesterday. "Are you ok? Are you good to go back asleep?" They ask.

"Y-Yeah," I respond, kind of shaky, not sure, "I think so."

"Alright," They leave, turning the light off and leaving. "I'll be here next time." They whisper the last part, "Hopefully there isn't a next time..." and leaves.

Wait...what the fuck just happened? I legit almost died, but didn't. Is it not my time? There's no way that was just a dream, it'd be too much of a coincidence. Is that what death is like? How will I know whether it's my time or not? Why did Sam come and get me? Wait, that means Sam is...dead...

No. No, no, no. This can't be. It must've just been a dream, Sam can't die. There's no way she died, do people die from alcohol poisoning? There's no way, they said she was strong. They said she would most likely live, why did she die? Why Sam, why? I start sobbing without realizing it. Sam is gone. She's dead. No, it just can't be true. It's all too real. Why did she have to go? Why did she want to take me? Laureen knows her better.

Laureen. She could've had the same experience. If she did, she would've said no. In the end, Sam wasn't allowed back. She was dragged away, it was her time. Was Laureen asked? Did she tell Sam no? But why? Is it possible she stayed for me? There's no way that was her reason, she has so much to live for, I don't. I don't deserve her love, but she should've still said no. I'm glad she did if she was asked at all. She deserves to live, she's just so amazing. I wipe away my tears.

It's late, well, early. As they said, I need the rest. I lay back, no intention to die this time. I didn't last time, but I won't let myself be pressured. I don't want to die, right? I want to be with Laureen, but I don't feel like I deserve her. She doesn't deserve someone like me, she should have better. But I don't care, I love her. I want to be with Laureen, and that's a fact.

I feel like demons are wrapping my head, grabbing my neck, choking me. I want them to go away, I want to fight for myself. But how do I do that? How do I fight off something I can't see, something I've lived with most of my life. How do I fight off what I thought is a friend? Do I think positive? Is that it?

Whatever, I'm too tired for this. I can wait after I get more rest, I'm tired. I want to sleep, but I can't get any of this off of my mind. Sam's dead and she wanted to take me with her. It's not like she hated me, she just didn't want to be alone. I get the feeling, it's awful. But why me? She almost seemed too happy...whatever. It can wait until tomorrow, I need some actual sleep without being disturbed by ghosts wanting to drag me to hell. Well, Sam probably went to heaven. Eh, it's fine. I guess I'll see if she's dead tomorrow. Sweet dreams.