trauma (3)

Bit of a recap:

This is my first time in a proper room. I had to share with my sister but when she died my mum kept the room the same and it didnt last long until I was sleeping outside then on the streets. I found a top and shorts, so I put them on, close the curtains and grabbed my blanket. I put it in a ball and cuddled up to it, I felt safe that way.

Warmth, the first thing that you felt as soon as you layed your head down on the pillow and covered yourself up with blankets. You used to sleep outside alot in all sorts of weathers. You were cuddling up to the blanket, it felt like Karasuma gave it to you as a gift. My first gift. That made you smile just thinking about it. Smiling, you don't remember the last time you even smiled until Karasuma came. You clenched onto the blanket as you were cuddling up to it, you did this because it felt like a hug. You adored hugs, enjoying someone's warmth and them enjoying yours. The last person you could think of that hugged you was your brother and sister.

"Y/N come on we need to go before it closes!!" Your brother shouted as you were trying to catch up to him. "I'M NOT AS TALL OR AS OLD AS YOU....so you're faster dumbass" you tried shouting at him while panting from running. "Yeah yeah whatever" your brother says while laughing.

"Shiya is already there and there's only 10 minutes left to get mum a gift for her birthday so let's hurry up, last one there's a rotten egg!"Dakene says and then runs like an idiot thinking he's going really fast if he puts his hands in the air.

You both race. You were running next to each other, both trying to run faster than the other person. So you cheated so you could win by sticking your leg our in front of his to make him nearly trip but he doesn't fall, so it slows him down. You get to the end you see your sister there waiting at the shop entrance you go to hug her but then Dakene grabs your jumper and pulls you back making him win.

You now have 7 minutes to get mum a gift and leave. You all go into the shop and decide to get your mum a necklace with all your initials on, wrapping paper and sellotape. It took a while to decide what to get her but you all wanted something off everyone and you knew that your mum liked. You now have 2 minutes. You all went to the checkout and payed for it but you felt like your being watched. Dark eyes beaming in your back trying to stare into your soul and rip it apart. You brushed it off, you didn't want anyone to worry because it's your mum's birthday and it's suppose to be a happy day.

Little did you know the countdown has only just begun. After you all payed you all went to a park and sat on the grass underneath a blossom tree to wrap your mum's gift. Again you felt someone staring and watching you like a hawk.

You hugged Dakene and Shiya for getting mum the gift but you really wanted to go home not just to give mum her gift...but for safety. Something doesn't feel right.

Someone threw a knife at Dakene and Shiya at the same time in a flash. Your life is flashing before your eyes. They were in your arms one minute ago and now they are on the floor pouring with blood.

(Back to reality)

"ARGHHHHHHHH" you started screaming and kicking. Eyes filling with water and hatred. Fists starting to clench making your hand bleed a little bit from your nails digging into your skin. "I WILL KILL YOU" you stand up from your bed screaming while staring outside your window. Karasuma comes into your room and stays at the doorstep to see your next moves. You didn't know that Karasuma was there because you were so focused looking outside the window staring at people walking down the alleyways, on the streets, and sitting on the bench. You start mumbling " I will kill you, if it's the last thing I do..then so be it." You punch the window making it crack, but it didn't fully brake everywhere. Blood was now dripping off your hands but you didn't care. It didn't hurt or bother you. " Y/N WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOUR SAFE NOW" Karasuma yells while running up to you. He grabs your shoulders and stares into your eyes again "y/n listen to me, you are safe and Is there something you haven't told me, were you having a nightmare?" You just look down with your hands down your side still with blood dripping. "Y/N I promise you that no one can harm you now and they will have to get to me before they can get to you and trust me that's impossible, I told you I will explain more stuff tomorrow and you tell me more tomorrow aswell but right now it's 3:28am. Now will you answer my question... Was you having a nightmare?"Karasuma questions while still staring into your eyes he was trying to be patient but he kept telling himself that he doesn't know how strong she is, or how far she will go with things.

"Yes, I did have a nightmare...but it's n-" you started stuttering, this happens to you every night but the problem is that it was always a happy memory with your family that you had in reality but then a dark figure always kills Shiya and Dakene. All your memories are turning into nightmares and it happens every night, every night you react different. Sometimes you just brush it off, other times you get violent, or just scream to let it all out, other times it gets worse where you want to get revenge.

"Y/N?" Karasuma says while bending down to your height because your head is still down looking at your ruined hands. "mhmm." You mumble not wanting to speak but to not be rude by not saying anything. "This happens alot?" Karasuma takes a deep breath and says. "mhm...I hate it."your eyes start to tear up, you clench your fists again but you didn't realise that there's still glass in your hands causing them to bleed more.

(Karasuma's pov)

And I thought this kid's trauma couldn't get any worse. But what's weird is that she's not bothered by pain or she doesn't feel it. There's tons of glass that's cutting into her but she's not showing any emotions or a little bit of pain. So this does happen alot or there's more to this...

"Um..I'm going back to sleep now Karasuma I'm sorry for disturbing you" Y/N says with a trembling voice and closes the curtain and sits on her bed waiting for me to exit. "Y/N I'm so sorry. I will make your life better and make these nightmares go away, I will try my best and we can talk tomorrow if you want I will let you think about it. I can see you want me to leave so I will, goodnight Y/N" I say trying to make her feel better and I will. I will make her life better, she has been through hell and even if hell has gone, it still haunts her. I exit and close the door and say goodnight one more time before going back to bed. I know she will sort out her hands and she won't want me to do it because she'll feel bad and will make up every excuse and I don't want to push her or make her feel uncomfortable. Plus it seems like she's done this before or worse so she knows how to deal with it.

(Your pov:)

I stay sitting on my bed. Karasuma exited and said goodnight I whispered goodnight back but I don't think he heard. One thing I like about Karasuma is that he takes him time with me and let's me talk to him when I want to, I also think that he thinks that I'm a bit independent he didn't say anything about the glass so I'm guessing he knew I was going to do it because he left my light on.

I took a deep breath before getting up and going to the bathroom trying to not wake Karasuma up. I wet my hands to get most of the blood off and to make sure no dirt gets into it to infect it. Then I found some tweezers in the cabinet above me and the sink. I carefully started pulling the glass out. This was barely anything compare to what I've been through. I carefully put all the glass on the side next to the sink and washed my hands again and bandaged my hand up. Karasuma had a full first aid kit in the cabinet, bit weird but it came in handy I guess. After I washed my hands I picked up the glass again with the tweezers and put them in the bin next to the shower. I didn't want any accidents to happen, so I decided to take the bin liner out the bin and put it in the outside bin.

So I started walking downstairs and found the house keys on the table in the dining room and unlocked the front door. I didn't care what I looked like because no one should be really up at 4am outside. I quietly shut the door after me and put the bin liner in the outside bin. It was raining but this time it felt nice. It wasn't too cold and I'm in a home and not in the backyard or in the streets. I was just standing there outside karasuma's house, in the middle of the street with my eyes closed with my head up to the sky with my hands down my side.

I felt a presence near by so I put my head back to normal position and opened my eyes. My hair was damp while in a ponytail. My top and shorts were slightly damp too. I looked across the street to see someone.

The figure was walking on the other side of the road to me with their head down and hands in their pockets. His hair and clothes were wet. But wait...he's wearing a suit? That's a bit weird. He was walking underneath a street light so now I could see his face clearly. He looked about 5'9 wow he's quite tall. I'm 5'2. He had strawberry blonde hair that reaches to his ears and violet eyes. What is he doing at this time? I couldn't help but stare.

(Asano's pov)

I could feel someone staring at me but it wasn't a creepy vibe way it was a kinda comfortable one. I don't know how to explain it. I stopped and turned around to where I felt the eyes and woah. Isn't that karasuma's house ? Oh well. She looked about 5'2 had h/c and beautiful e/c I could gaze into them all day. What am I saying i don't even know her name. She was stood there so cute and innocently, she was wearing a top and shorts that kind of showed a figure but not alot. Her hair was in a ponytail it looked so soft even though it was damp, I wouldn't mind playing with her hair. It's 4:05am why is she out here, she will get a cold maybe I should tell her as seen as we are both staring at each other. I want to hear her voice.