Beer Belly

"Fuck"

My eyes slowly opened. It was still dark out so I couldn't see a damn thing. I kept my eyes closed because my head and my back were killing me. I definitely shouldn't have drank last night.

I just couldn't resist. Those damn beer bellies were challenging me to a drink off, course I thought I would win 'cause I ain't a light weight. Showed them though, I was the last one standing, and the last to pass out. I don't regret drinking in the middle of the day though, there's more beer and margaritas for me. Least my friendly neighborhood bartender, Mark, called me an uber home.

Gotta thank him later, he's a hell of a bartender, never seen someone stack so many shot glasses so fast before, and a hell of a good friend too. I guess my brother too, he did help me get up to the second floor without waking up our parents. But heyyy, I don't have classes for the next two days so I can get over this fucking killer headache.

I swear this hangover of mine hurts more than usual cause my temples are on fire. Not to mention my ever hurting back. I'm in my 20's and my back has been hurting like on old man's. I guess my ass does too a bit, I think I hit it on the window coming in my room... I think.

Well, fuck this, I'm going back to sleep. Damn, where did my blanket go, I can't feel it anywhere on me. I really don't want to open my eyes right now. Well, I'm not that cold anyways! Seesh. I flip my body over instead, letting my face go against the pillow. Wait, did my mom buy me new pillows, cause these are really big.

Fuck it, imma go to sleep, blanket or no blanket.

.

.

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"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?!"

I hear my brother yell as I jolted awake. I quickly backed up until I hit my bedframe. Is it me or am I being pranked right now because I honestly can't tell. You should have thought of a better way to do this lil bro. Plus, I have- wait, HAD a massive hangover and I'm actually feeling pretty good. I just wish he hadn't woken me up like this though.

"STEF, COME HERE, IT'S IN YOUR FUCKING ROOM AND IT JUST MOVED!"

I see him yelling towards the outside of my room. Can't this dumbass see that I'm right here? Haha, nice prank. That all stoped once my lil bro ran out the room and came back with a gun.

"CMON STEF, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU! I'MMA BOUT BLOW THIS THING TO SMITHEREENS!" My brother looks really shaken, almost sweating.

OK. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I DON'T THINK THIS IS FUNNY ANYMORE DEREK. I open my mouth quick so I could stop this horrible prank.

"PUT DOWN THE FECKING GUN DUMBHASH, THIS ISN'T VERY COOL OR FUNNY." Derek literally dropped the gun the second I spoke as he jumped up in surprise. I quickly eye the floor to see the gun. The safety is on but the gun is loaded. Either my brother is really stupid or he forgot to turn the safety off, and in this case, I think he really is dumb, common sense wise.

"S-Stef. . . ?"

"YEAH. WOULD YOU CARE TO TELL ME WHY THE HECK DID YOU DO THIS SHATTY PRANK AND POINT A GUN AT ME?" I practically yelled so he could get the point. I really wish he would stop this because all of this yelling and confusion is killing me ;-;.

"w-what the hell? He had spoken in almost a whisper but I could still hear his voice.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'w-w-what the hell?'?!?" I said mockingly. Jeez, he's acting like he's seen a ghost.

"Uh, I think you need to look down." This time, he spoke a little clearer, but he's still looking at me weirdly. I looked down and saw my arm, well, what had become of my arm. It was covered in these red scales that were almost glistening, and ended in dull back claws. The same thing happened with the rest of my body. My limbs also shortened and I think, I think, I have a fucking tail. Oh no nonononono NOOOOOOOO!

I only spoke three words.

"Oh, frick me."