So Near and Distant.

"Big bro, since you gave me a special name, why not I give you one?"

"Me? Well..."

(Maybe it could help me blend in nicely. After all, she called my name weird).

"As long it's not too complicated to say, then give me your best!"

"Yea! Let's see..."

In a land so far away from home, a land so different yet familiar in many ways. Has it's seeds torn apart by the flames of war, devoured by the chaos of turmoil and tragedy only to be buried under mother natures beauty of life. Yet even in death, life shall always find its ways.

With a bag on my shoulder and a new companion by my side. We traverse the desolate streets filled with nothing but buried corpses and fleeting dreams.

(I got to admit, this body is pretty strong and dexterous. I mean this bag is filled with so many stuff but it still feels like I'm carrying nothing. And with how far we've walked, I still didn't feel strained or tired at all. Is this what those famous athletes feel like? If only I was this strong back then too. I mean I found myself struggling to even move a motorcycle back then).

"Aha! How about, nqpq!"

July fired off with one new name but...

"That doesn't sound close to my name at all."

"Aah..."

July pouted as she thinks of another name. She strolls in the sidewalk and writes names on the piling snow with the bottom of the halberd she's holding. I look around the streets searching for something to grab. Walking by the edge as we follow the broken streetlights. The only thing that enters my ears is the sound of our feet sinking into the snow while hearing July humming a song.

(She has a really nice voice. I wonder if she would sing more, it makes walking in this winter wasteland more enjoyful).

"Agxtv."

July proclaims out of nowhere as she finishes her hyme.

"Agstevy?"

I try to spell it but failed again.

"Agxtv!"

"Alktwee?"

"I really think you should get your memory back so you can speak properly big bro."

"Ah, fine! I guess that could work. And sounds pretty okay, what matter are you tried you best, thanks, July."

(Though I don't know what that name means but I'll just go along with it. I seriously in the love of God can't figure out how their naming sense work. I mean, I can't imagine how their language would sound like if I didn't have the Goddess' blessing... I don't even want to imagine it. Talking about her blessing, how does it even work anyway? Maybe I'll test it when I get the time).

I pat her in the head and July gives the most cutest smile that soothes my heart.

"Hahaha, Big bro, Agxtv!"

"Alright alright. There's a limit on how much cuteness a guy can take so come, let's just travel quietly for now. And hey, mind holding my hand?"

July tilt her head in confusion and gives her hand asking:

"Is there a reason why?"

"Huh?"

(Ah right! Maybe the concept of showing affection by holding hands don't exist here... If so, what kind of childhood did they live here!?)

I grab her extending hand and walk first. Pulling her along, I look back to her coral blue eyes answering:

"Well, I just want to feel closer to you."

(More specifically, I want to know more about you. After all, I feel like she got so close too fast. Or maybe it's somehow connected to her culture? I mean she seems to trust me unconditionally for now. Is it because something of what I said? Something I do? Does it have a different meaning? Like how do they even profess their feeling? Even if they did, what makes it so believable and not me just playing her feelings? Wait, that sounds bad but she did suspect me for being a foreigner, so my action probably is foreign- okay, I'm going to have to stop myself there. I think it's right to doubt sudden bonds like this, but I feel like if I pursue this any further and became paranoid. Things are not going to end well. After, all just being myself is what I do best).

After a while of staring into the window of our souls, her eyes escape while her cheeks reddened. She hastens her steps so she could walk beside me. The things I feel as I heard her footsteps beside me, seeing her breathe visible thanks to the snow, she leans close till our arms touch and rests her head in my shoulder. I could see her face more clearly and appreciate her traits and beauty even more as the smell of her hair lingers.

(Oh, it's cocoa... Well, I guess it isn't worth thinking too much for now. Having a companion to walk beside you like this is never so bad).

"If, I walk too fast. Just tell me okay?"

"Uhm..."

July assures me back as she closes her eyes. I look ahead to the great mountain beyond. Its mighty heights easily pierced the white clouds. Its splendour, so immense and magnificent, I realize I didn't get to appreciate it before. Unlike normal mountains filled with green, nor snow. This one is clean on its body, brown and black all the way through wondering why no snow nor plants ever stick through.

(But then, what about that fruit I manage to eat at the top of the mountain? Is it something special?)

Deep in thought, I plan for the incoming events. Walking hand in hand with July by my side I started to ask more about herself and she would sometimes ask back but then soon realize that I have no memories to speak off which makes her pout sometimes.

****************************************

"Unlike all the cities ever made, apart from the Theocracy probably, one of the cities that houses millions of populations."

"Millions!?"

"That's right and I heard last time this city's population reach around 9 million this year and was still growing... But I don't know that number anymore."

"Ah, sorry to hear that."

(Well that would explain the industrial clothing and so many scientific inspiration. But will all the medicines and life expectancy, I guess it's pretty plausible that they're having a population boom right now. That's what happens during the industrial era in my world... And that would also explain the countless bodies wherever we go. In all honesty, so much life and human resources have gone to waste in but one night it's really...)

"Such a waste."

Words in my heart poured in a form of whispers.

"Did you say something, big bro?"

"Oh, it's nothing important. Say, July?"

"Hmm? What is it, big bro?"

"I wonder how much further is it? I feel like we've been walking for a while now and it seems like the shelter doesn't seem to be in sight."

(Like seriously, we set off with the sun on the edge my right eye and now it's already dawn. I mean how do they count time? What is their perception of time either? But I set aside those questions for another time... Maybe I shouldn't read that porn and read this world's history and lore. No point crying over spilt milk, so enjoy what you got.

For now, the sky has turned gold. Its golden light shines past the cracks between the cloud and gives the ruinous city a glow to remember. Like a sense of lost beauty. Like seeing a sunken city from underwater and the lost city of gold. This fusion of human and nature's stunning painting will light a torch of adventure in everyone's heart. I guess it's true when they said there's beauty in everything. It feels nice to just see things like this too in a while.

"Well, that's to be expected. Usually, we could use the floating panels to move quickly and maybe use a flying spell if you're proficient enough. But ever since that black sun appeared in the sky, nothing is working anymore. And I can't really cast magic here either."

"I see, do you think we'll be able to get there before night?"

"If we're walking there, no. Midnight, maybe."

"Midnight huh? I guess we better find a place to stay when the sun goes down. Let's try finding an inn."

"Okay big bro."

(I just realize this but how big is this city anyway? Looking from the monster's body point of view last time it looks pretty normal. I dare it's pretty small whenever I jump around even when she said this city house millions of people. But with this body, now I know why this city now feels gigantic. I wonder if it's because we're different in size? I never really measure this body nor my monster's body height huh? Part of this city's demise is because of me too. I really can't tell what to feel about it. If I never really got entrance to meet other humans would I even be with July right now? Would I even acquired this body?)

"-ig bro?"

July calls me as she looks up to me from below.

"Y-Yes?"

"Don't you feel cold?"

"Cold? Well, no."

"Really!? I mean, I know you look good in those clothes but don't you think staying warm and safe is better than looking good? Especially with the terraform crystals broken, this city is starting to turn to its former self."

(I look good, do I? That's good to know. Guess this world's fashion might just suit me well).

"Ah, you don't need to worry about that. Believe or not, I'm pretty resistant to the cold. So this scarf I'm wearing is good enough."

"Are you sure big bro? With how we can't use magic right now, I'm just worried what to do if you suddenly collapsed with sickness? I really can't do anything."

(Ah~ I want to pat her head right now if I have another arm but...)

I reach out and let our forehead touch. Our face got so close till our nose is poking with each other. With just a little push, our lips could be intertwined but I smiled at her saying:

"Don't worry, I won't fall so easily."

(After all, I'm somewhat of a doctor. I know what my body is capable of. And I'm certain this body is pretty tough. Talking about this body I wonder what I should tell the people who know about the owner of this body? And I feel a bit of a weird sensation in my body the longer our forehead touch, it feels weird).

I let her go and back away to look at her reaction. Her face is so red a tomato looks pale in comparison.

(I wonder if that's bad?)

She hugs me tight and hides her face in my chest as she hugs me.

"This will keep you, warm big bro..."

She hides her reddened face as she says that.

(So cute!)

When I check my surroundings, I could see some fancy-looking inn-no, scratch that. A gigantic opulent mansion with an inn sign on the extravagant layers of gates sitting just across the streets where we stand. I pat her head saying:

"What about you? If you're cold. I could give you this scarf."

"No! You don't need to. It's been a while since I've been in the cold. So I'll adjust to it in no time."

(Even if she's not cold. She's at least tired since we've been walking from the library with only one rest for lunch. Even though I still feel fine, she must be pushing her self).

"July why don't we rest there? That place seems pretty nice. I don't know if it's an inn or a mansion but the sign does say an inn."

July peeks her eyes out to look at me and I gesture with my head to point forward before she finally looks. Her eyes widened in surprise saying:

"Eh!? That place!"

Surprised by her reaction, I panic asking:

"What's wrong? Is it bad?"

She shakes her head saying:

"No, it's the opposite. It's really good. Wonderful even. In fact, I dare say it's the best inn in town or this continent."

(Continent!? Oy, oy, oy, that inn is that good?)

"There are luxurious and customizable rooms, gourmet foods, wonderful services, personal servants, gorgeous decors and many, many more. It's so good even a royalty once stayed there and leave with a satisfied expression. So it's very expensive, but Dad told me that one day he would gather up money so we could stay there for at least a day."

"Oh, so it's like a 5-star hotel huh? It does look the part."

"5-star? Hotel?"

I rub my cheeks on the top of her head saying:

"Just another phrase I remember."

"I see, I heard that the Hero Hyu is staying there with his little sister for free since he invests and help the owner or something if what the rumours said are true. And since it's his permanent residence, maybe we could find one of his items to help with us on the journey."

(Really? A hero staying at a 5-star hotel for free? That sound so nice).

"Maybe you can finally experience that inn for yourself too. Albeit, not the full experience though."

"Well, I'm just happy I could even look at the lobby once when my dad was posted as a guard. To be honest, I don't really like things that are too fancy."

"Whatever it is, let's get there before sunset! Maybe I could be your personal butler and serve you. Albeit, with one hand I hope you can forgive some inconsistencies, my fair lady."

I say somethings I could do as a joke but July smiles and gives the cutest giggle before saying:

"Haha, stop it! Oh, And maybe I could be the chef and prepare something for dinner."

"Oh, you can cook?"

"Well... I can but I'm not that great."

"What are you saying!? If you pour love to your cookings, everything will taste great!"

"L-Love!? I see... So that's what this is..."

When I look at her, I could see her smiling peacefully whilst her eyes are closed. Before she finally opens her eyes and looks back at me with the sweetest smile saying:

"Then be prepared, I'll pour all my love for you."

I felt my heart skip a beat from that. My cheeks get warmer and I try to hide my face by resting my forehead on hers saying:

"I can't wait."

Both the edge of my lips curls up even if I try not to... But I can't deny I felt happy so far. This journey to another world might be what I need.

****************************************

As the sun sets below the ruined city, countless stars shine like glitter across the deep blue sky. The wind kicks the bells infront of the gate around making a chorus to wonder.

*cling* *cling*

As we opened one of the giant gates with ease, the bells behind the pillars that support it chimes as to welcome the guest.

*cling* *clang*

"Haaah~ I seriously underestimated the distance."

"Usually, when the first gate opened, the other gates behind it would also simultaneously open."

(Woah, that would actually look pretty nice).

"You remember it pretty well huh?"

"Mhm! I told you my dad worked here once right? He brought me along so we can enjoy the guest room. And it is already so wonderful. I really can't forget about it."

(I'm really starting to get curious about how the hotel works when it's still fully functional. But I also have to consider how did she live her life?)

"Well if you think so, then I'll trust your judgement. After all, I can't wait for dinner."

July looks at me for a while before she blushes and looks away saying:

"Um..."

Unlike before, this place seems more ominous and warm. The bodies piled up here are more numerous and visible than the ones in the streets. Countless soldiers died in rows near the gate walls. The walls themselves may look fine and sturdy but it's filled with patches of blood and numerous small holes as if something had pierced them. In fact, just by looking at the mansion from a different angle, I could see a giant gaping hole that looks like something exploded from the inside out as there are multiple types of furniture, items, weapons, and dismembered bodies flung everywhere around it. As we opened the third gate, a scene of carnage greets us. Two large mountain of corpses piled against each other as they are slowly being covered by the snow.

July grasp my arms tight as we walk, covering her face as to avoid what's in front of us. Unlike the ones in the street where most of their bodies are already buried by the snow and only some parts shows. The ones here are still visible, their face twisted in agony, still clear to the eyes. Even worse, it seems there's a large gate decor made from the chopped up corpses in the inn's door and in the middle are heads of people forcefully sewn to smile.

(I have a bad feeling about this. This place is like it's been sieged and sacked. I can only wonder what the inside will be like).

As we pass the countless piles, I remove the decoration from the door.

"July, if you can't handle it. I suggest we found somewhere else. With this situation around, it wouldn't be wrong to say his items are probably looted."

"Big bro... I..."

"July?"

"Let's keep going."

"Are you sure!? I have a really bad feeling about this."

July lets go of me and fall silent as she ignores my calls. I nod at her decision and opened the gate to have our nose be filled with a horrendous stench.

Unlike outside where the smell of snow covered the corpses. The inside of this building is filth. The rotting corpses are littered across the grand lobby. Bodies of black knights impaled to the wall by harpoons, empty bullet cases littered across the lobby and corpses lined up in such a fashion it feels like some kind of cult ritual was happening.

(This is despicable! What kind of people would do such a thing!?)

"Bleurgh!!!"

July backs away and throws up outside. I try to comfort her by rubbing her back saying:

"Let's just get out of here. There's still more place we could stay."

"Bleurgh! Cough! Cough! Bleurgh!!!"

July who can't control the horror infront of her eyes barfed out all the meals we eat during lunch...

"Why... Why... Oh, Libera why..."

She falls limp as she says those words. Before she could fall into the puddle of her own puke. I grab her unconscious body and carry her like a sack of potatoes. Some of the corpses are even moved to make them look like they're doing an everyday task like reading the news, cleaning the floors, and the reception table filled with dead women force to stand as something impaled them from below and pierce through their head so they could stand while their mouth is stitched so they could smile. And worse of all is the grand blood splash in the large painting that's placed in the gorgeous stairs leading up. My Goddess blessing somehow translates the blood spilt into the wall as,

[PAYBACK IN ART!!!]

My memories as a monster resurface when I saw those slaves being forcefully dragged to be monster food. The kid who begs to save her dying mother was whipped almost to death. And I can't imagine what they feel afterwards.

"I'm sorry, July. But let's just get out of here. The Hero's items are just not worth it."

(I guess war crime is the same everywhere).

I carry her out and leave the weapon she drops behind. Spending time with her almost made me forget that we were in a war-ravaged city. I found a restaurant near the mansion's inn and kick open the door. Only to find another gruesome slaughter. Just like before, people are forcefully seated as they are having a meal while waiters are being wired to stand and serve and in the middle of it is a pile of corpses where at the top is a lady's corpse forced to tiptoe like a ballerina.

(Those sick bastards!)

Finding just a normal house, I kick the door open to find another same scene... And another one... And another one... And another one... The events grew more horrific as I go deeper and more numerous as we get closer to the mountain. The "decorations" now fills both inside and outside the buildings. Filling the streets with artificial activity and life.

"What is wrong with these people!? And who in their right mind would even cooperate and even have the stomach to make all this madness!?"

I was running away from the stench and decay left behind. Carrying July in my arms as I search for a place where we can stay.

(What in the world did they do to each other for these to happen? What messed up part of history let to them committing such events to even take place? What kind of things do they teach them to even do these?)

And as the moon soars through the skies and stars circles the skies. I found myself in an empty alleyway. I could see the giant mountain just right beside us.

(It seems we've gotten close... I hope).

With no stench or body around...

"Huff, wheeze... Fuh..."

I stabilize my breathing and look around. The soft gentle snow, falling so slow in this solemn night full of glow and sorrow... Looking at an opened door, I entered it to find some sort of dark room with only the small light shining in the middle. Giving the place a cosy yet mystical environment. I place July and the bag above some sacks of what seems to be flour and try to get my eyes adjusted into the darkness.

This place seems to be some sort of storage where they keep the stash of food and drinks. And there are only two ways out, the place we enter and the other door that's head further inside. The only ominous thing is the trail of frozen blood that looks like someone dragging multiple bodies out of where we entered from.

"Poor sods."

As the storm outside kicks up a notch. I close and barred both doors with some crates filled with those sacks just in case. I prepared a pillow in the form of a flour bag for two before carrying July to sleep near the centre just beside the light. Seeing her shivering, I give her my scarf and coat as a blanket. Moving the debris that seems to be the remnants of the ceiling before lying down in the middle where the light shines just above me. I look through a hole big enough for someone to enter and let snow fell just above my nose and I start to wonder,

"Is the stars always so many? Is the moon always so big?"

I look at the sleeping July and seeing her finally having peace. I smile, whispering to myself,

"I guess I didn't get to have your cooking tonight. Should I wake you up and let you have my cooking instead? After all, you puked out your lunch and sleeping with an empty stomach is not good... Haha, either way, I probably can't bare waking you up when you're so sleeping peacefully."

I decided to get up and look around to see what kind of food is here. When I look closely and read the labels. I realize it's actually cocoa or muq is what she calls it I think.

"Oh! If cocoa is here, then..."

I search around and found a crate filled with marshmallows or qlo is what she calls it.

"Nice! I'm having some hot cocoa filled with marshmallow tonight..."

And soon realize I don't have any utensils to cook with nor are there any place I can create fire, nor the tools to make one. Unlike the library that has a staff room with multiple utilities, this place is only storage filled with rations and unprepared food.

"Aw... I guess I could always stash on them at least. She did say its rations, so it probably has the proper nutrients for combat and last long."

I grab the bag and pull out some of the canned foods and water before replacing it with some small cocoa sack and some marshmallow bags. I look at the cans and wonder,

"I know we got cans but if we don't even have a can opener, how do we even eat? Oh, I know."

I place the can down and grab one of the tiny tools, the pickaxe which fit smaller than I thought. Inspect if it's sharp enough, I poke at the tip a few time and feeling it's just right. I wipe the tip clean before raising the pickaxe and...

"Just to be sure."

I look at the can and read the label.

[Utopia beef porridge]

"Sounds legit."

*slam*

Half of the pickaxe sunk into the can. Since I only have one arm, I use my feet to hold the can as I pull the pickaxe out.

*yoink*

Seeing some of the content spilt and the tip smeared by some red liquid I breathe out a sigh of relief.

"At least the food not frozen. Now do I eat with my hands or should I just slurp? Haah..."

I sigh and realize how much missing tools and utilities she's didn't bring. And how we didn't even bother scavenging for some items either.

"I've been numbed by the convenience of modern life that I almost forgot how I just took it for granted and spending time with her does make me forgot about the troubles around us. I better be careful next time."

I look at the pickaxe and the modern winter outfit July's wearing and remembering the harpoon gun that Hero uses.

"This place may be a place of magic but there are so many science-based inspiration taken. I wonder if the other cities will be like this place too? It's quite disappointing. Let's just hope the other city has more of something like those floating castles and panels and also those giant crystals too."

I bend the lid open and start slurping the ice-cold meal.

"Ugh! I'm probably going to have a hard time getting used to this. I guess we can start scavenging some proper utilities tomorrow. If the place is filled with corpses, then I'll have to ask for July to stay outside while I search."

*glug* *chew* *chew* *gulp"

"Bleh! Taste good, but it's ruined by the cold... If I remember correctly, back in Russia. Didn't they have that soup that is intentionally served cold? I forgot its name but it sure tastes great with those fried eggs, boiled meat, mash potatoes, eggplants, kale and screw the cucumber but I enjoyed the creamed milk above all. Since this is like a winter region, I wonder if they have any cold-based food? Now, I'm getting more pumped up on what kind of dish July will make."

I look at her whispering:

"When you get better of course. I guess I'll make her some more cocoa filled with marshmallows when I found a mug or better yet, a place to cook one. Talking about food, I never even know what her favourite food is? What does she like? What's her dream? What does she hate? Her fears? Her joy?"

I finished up the food and wipe it off with my hand. Using some empty rags and piled up snow to clean off my hands and mouth, I use the flour bag to hug rather than sleep before sitting beside her. Leaning against the wall, I close my eyes saying:

"Goodnight. Even though we didn't meet for long, you placed your blind trust in me. I hope I can know you better."