Huit

Dear You,

It has been a while. 

I'm still here, don't worry. I have been studying hard these past few weeks. I couldn't bring myself to write to you. Every time I stare at my computer my mind immediately goes blank, I hate it, but I can't help it. 

I miss you every day. I wonder how you are every day. 

I'm afraid to sleep at night because I don't want to dream of you, although before I was desperate to dream of you, now I am scared that in my dreams I could not remember your smile, your eyes, and everything else about you. I'm afraid in my dreams you're not you anymore.

You're simply a stranger, a face I can't remember.

It's been six years already, is it not enough yet? 

I say I miss you only to keep me sane, to keep me going because without you I don't think I can. I don't think I would be able to at all. I say I love you even though it hurts to love you; it hurts being away from you, yet after all that I still do. 

It may be so, that I cry myself to sleep at night.

It may be so, that you hurt me more than anyone I have ever known.

It may be so, that I love you endlessly even though you're so far away.

It may be so, that I can never be yours as you are mine however, I still won't care, because through all that there is my heart that continuously beats for you, and only you.

I love you. I always will.

Yours truly,

A