Hermione: "Lady Potter? It's nobility? Since when are you a Lord? Why didn't you ever mentioned it to me?"
"Yes, yes, since I was chosen as a champion, I just claimed my Lordships in the great hall, I got three so far, I am getting number four at the Goblins within the hour." I took a hold of her and kissed her, deepened it, used some tongue, she started to respond, my hands started to roam her body, she came to her senses when I squeezed her bum.
Hermione: "Harry!"
"Sorry love, I could not help it… As a matter of fact, I am not sorry, the kiss was great and your bum feels heavenly. I would like to kiss you like that all the time. But I can tone it down to simple kisses if you want." I grabbed her back and started kissing again, yep, she responded with enthusiasm, I kept my hands on the neutral spots and let my tongue do the work.
"My Lady Potter, I have to go to Gringotts, if you want you can come along."
Hermione: "We are not allowed to leave school, Harry."
"My Lady Potter, I just appointed you as my personal trainer, I am a champion of a fourth school, so I am allowed to go on training sessions with my girlfriend… No, my personal trainer I mean. First I have to reward a friend of mine, Dobby come here please." Dobby popped in,
Dobby: "Great Master Harry Potter sir is calling Dobby? What can Dobby do for great Master Harry Potter? Sir?"
"Dobby, do you want to join my family? Join House Potter? The pay is great."
Dobby: "Great Master Harry Potter wants Dobby? Dobby wants to join House Potter great Master Harry Potter sir, but Dobby refuses to be paid, to get paid is great dishonor for bonded house-elves."
"That I didn't know, I am sorry for offering payment Dobby, I will not dishonor you, but I am allowed to give pocket money, family members receive pocket money from the head of the family, that is correct yes?" Hermione started to fume.
Hermione: "Harry James Potter, you are not enslaving Dobby you hear!"
"My Lady Potter, I am not enslaving anyone, I am offering Dobby a place in my family, just like I offered you a place in the same family, do you feel like a slave? I am not a bloody Malfoy."
Dobby: "Mistress Hermy, Dobby wants to be a Potter elf, Dobby needs to find a good family or Dobby's magic will go away and Dobby will die in a few years. Great Master Harry Potter has a place for Winky to? Winky's magic is fading fast, and will die soon." Oh, I forgot about Winky.
"I Harry James Potter offers a place in House Potter to the house-elf Dobby, Dobby do you accept?"
Dobby: "Great Master Harry Potter Dobby accept to be a House Potter elf."
"Welcome to House Potter Dobby, so mote it be." Bloody Dumbledore did the same shit as the other universe, and I had to make him my personal elf again.
"Dumbledore did a number on me, Hermione, he blocked my mail, my house-elves, and he blocked Sirius to be my guardian, come with me to Gringotts and you will discover more of his crimes. Dobby can you pop us both at the steps of Gringotts? Or do you need another elf to help you?"
Dobby: "Great Master Harry Potter's magic is very strong Dobby can do it alone." He took our hands and popped us on Gringotts' steps. Dammed I forgot to think of a good greeting. Meh, I'll wing it. I approached the guards,
"Warriors, let us tear through the fabric of time and space to slay all our enemies and fill our vaults with the spoils. Surprised they looked at a skinny kid and his girlfriend.
Warrior one: "I suggest to try with one enemy at the time young brave, but I admire your effort."
Warrior two: "Strange I have a feeling we know each other. Fight hard and fill your vaults, young warrior." Hmm, first Luna, now this one, the other universe must be close by.
Inside at a counter, I asked for the Potter account manager.
Clerk: "Blooddagger is a busy Goblin wizard, he doesn't like to be disturbed." Well isn't that familiar?
"I suppose you can ask him if he has time for Heir Potter, if he is too busy I look for another Goblin to do his job." The clerk, surprised with my response, pointed to a waiting room and told us to wait in there.
Hermione: "Why did you say all that to the guards? Are you feeling alright?"
"I am fine thank you very much, I did a Goblin greeting, first you say something violent, then something valuable. Like for example let us kill all our enemies and rob them of their gold."
Hermione: "Are you sure? That is saying they are robbers, it sounds more like an insult than a greeting."
Blooddagger: "You might be right, young witch. Young wizard, are you the one claiming to be heir Potter?"
"Soon to be Lord Potter, yes. And what is wrong with my greetings? It has the right amount of violence and profit, I was kind of proud of it."
Blooddagger: "Well, we don't. We need a blood test to prove your claim. Come with me."
"Can we do an inheritance test after I proved my claim? Somehow my key got misplaced, with or without bad intentions I am not sure."
Blooddagger: "That can be arranged, it is a hundred and twenty Galleons per test." Bastard, it was a hundred only previous time.
"Hundred-eighty for them both, don't be too greedy, I might have some profitable investments for both of us."
Blooddagger: "Two hundred for the both of you, let us first do the blood proof." Well… I am still Harry fucking Potter, hurrah yuppy and all that shit. The inheritance test took some time to prepare, he came back with two bowls and a nasty dagger.
I offered my hand and with a nasty grin, he gave a big cut on it, collecting the blood in the bowl, and poured it on parchment. The results were the same.
Harry James Potter
Heir of the Most Ancient and Most Noble House of Potter by blood.
Heir of the Most Ancient and Most Noble House of Black by the sworn godfather.
Lord of the Most Ancient and Most Noble House of Gryffindor by magic, valor, and blood.
Lord of the Most Ancient and Most Noble House of Slytherin by conquest.
Lord of the Ancient house of Gaunt by conquest.
Hermione's results were also promising,
Hermione Jean Granger
Heiress of the Ancient and Noble House of Dagworth-Granger by blood
Member of House Ravenclaw by magic and intellect
"Hermione it seems you picked the wrong house in Hogwarts. First, do your business, ask if Dagworth-Granger has a vault, Account manager and properties." Hermione looks asking at Blooddagger.
Blooddagger: "The account of Dagworth-Granger was sealed, two hundred years ago when the line squibbed out, you can claim the line back to life, but it is a male decedent House meaning you have to marry within two years after your claim and your husband will be Lord Dagworth-Granger, so will your first male child at age seventeen. There is one property, the main residence, that was put in stasis, awaiting the new Lord. There is no account manager, if you like you can appoint one, I am offering my services if you like."
"Hold it, love, if you activate the account you automatically claim the House, meaning marrying within two years. I offer you to be Lady Potter, but if you accept Dagworth-Granger you can be only consort Potter and Lady Dagworth-Granger, and I have to marry another girl for House Potter."
I hope she doesn't get in her head to marry Ron, the idiot would sell the mansion and invest it in the chudly cannons
Hermione: "I like to think about it Blooddagger, I just got in a relationship with Harry, and need to go over my options."
"Now my turn, Blooddagger I bet you two hundred galleons I can get a team of guards, your bank director and even your mother in here in less than fifteen minutes."
Blooddagger: "That would be a suckers bet Heir Potter, I will just wait fifteen minutes before to call them in, but if you want to bet, you are on." I grinned at him, a sucker bet it is.
"Alright Blooddagger, how much does it cost to store a Horcrux in your vaults?" Poor Blooddagger exploded slammed on a button, and the guards stormed in, that is one.
"Hold your centaurs Blooddagger, I asked because I have one in my head here, and wanted to see what your policy is about them."
Blooddagger: "Great Goat God! You have one in your head?"
"Yep, you even have one in one of your vaults." That stirred a hornets' nest, He slammed on several other buttons, and the bank manager came storming in, followed by my lovely granny. Hah! Two hundred galleons in the pocket.
Granny: "What in Goat's name are you getting me here in such a hurry, it better be good or get caned."
"He just lost a bet to me, I bet I could get you here in less than fifteen minutes. I won." Smack! Blooddagger got caned.
Granny: "You called me here for a bet? And to lose that bet? How much did you lose? Didn't I raise you to make me galleons instead of losing them?" The bank director grinned at Blooddagger's misery.
Bank director: "Why did you summon us here Blooddagger? It better be good."
Blooddagger gave me the evil eye: "This one here is Heir Potter, he claims to have a Horcrux in his head, and that there is a Horcrux in one of our vaults. That merits the summons." Granny hissed at the Horcrux comments, she pulled her dagger and began waving it all over me, her expression changed from anger to disbelief, then to rage.
"Great Goat God, boy what have they done to you? Aren't you supposed to be sheltered and cared for? Who Goat be dammed is your guardian? I am going to kill that bastard. Ragnar, this is Heir Potter, The BoyWho Lives, His core is bound for fifty percent, he has a mail-block, a house-elf block, even a Veela-block. He is malnourished, several bones were broken and wrongly healed, and he has a Great Goat God be dammed a false Horcrux stuck in his head. Boy, didn't you visit St Mungos? Or even the school nurse?"
Hermione: "Every year he spends time in the hospital wing mam."
"Can you get rid of the blocks please, and the school nurse is a joke, I even didn't get treated after I got bitten by a basilisk in my second year, it was a good thing Fawkes healed it with his tears."
Granny: "Goat God! A Basilisk bit you? Is it this scar on your arm with the strange magic in it? Where in Goats name did you meet a basilisk? Did some of those students breed one?"
"No it was Salazar's pet, a thousand-year-old one, I can give you the memory if you like?" Yes, I am going to sell it again. I like Basi to much. I extracted the memory and handed it over.
"Blooddagger, I show it once, if someone wants to see it after that it is five galleons per view. 5% managing for you."
Granny: "15% Heir Potter and be glad I don't ask 20%"
"Granny, after you see it, you will be happy with 10%, trust me."
Once again we were led to the ritual chamber, a projection pensive was brought in and the show started, I took Hermione's hand, and whispered that it wasn't going to be a pretty movie. It began with the opening of the chamber, the conversation with Tommy, then the basilisks entrance with the fight, Fawkes and Hatty, murmurs when I pulled the sword out of the hat, sheering with the stab through the mouth, the healing and last but not least the stabbing of the diary. Half of the time Hermione had buried her face in my chest.
Granny: "I am happy with 10% basiliskslayer."
"Nah, Granny I like you, have it at 15%, but I want to have the blocks removed today if possible."
Hermione whispered: "Harry, I didn't know it was that big, you are my hero.'
"Anytime my love." Yes, I am grandstanding it, posing as the hero, they get the girls you know.
"Granny, I have a few more if you like do you have time?"
Granny: "You did more crazy things? Are you a trouble magnet? Show me." While I was here, I might as well give House Potter a badass reputation, so I put the troll, then Quirrel, Malfoy and the diary, and last but not least Sirius and the dementors. It was a great show, the troll scored good, Quirrel was started at the vials with Hermione solving the right potion, which got admiring looks from granny, Malfoy was connected to the diary, so I suspected a drop in his bank account. Then it was Sirius time, first came the scene in the shack, then wolfie with Hermione's save, last, the dementor's swarm with my Patronus chasing them away. All in all our reputation with the Nation was solid now.
Ragnar: "Heir Potter, from now on we call you Basiliskslayer, I also suggest going to another school, this one is a death-trap."
"Thank you for the honor, warrior Ragnar, but I am stuck for this year, I got selected as a fourth champion in the Tri-wizard school tournament. I came here to sort my issues out and claim my Lordship. I might have caused Dumbledore to be arrested, Snape to, exposed two Barty Crouches and claimed the carcass of the basilisk, oh, and claimed House Slytherin and Gryffindor. Gaunt to."
Yes, shock after shock, although my arm began to hurt, Hermione was squeezing the life out of it.
Ragnar: "Never a dull moment with you around I suppose, you said there was a Horcrux in our vaults, do you know which one?"
"Bellatrix Lestrange nee Black, I am Heir Black, do I have the right to look at her marriage contract? I think she breached it, I want to cancel her marriage and reclaim everything they got from House black. Then kick her bony ass out of the family. Also, all outstanding loans to known death-eaters need to be looked over, anyone who is late with payments or even didn't repay, needs to pay with the penalties and interests."
Ragnar: "Such a decision needs to be done by the lord Black."
"Ok, a moment please, Kreacher, the elf of House Black, come here." Kreacher popped in, looking around.
Kreacher: "Who is calling Kreacher? I feel House Black magic calling me."
"That would be me Kreacher, now stay silent so I can explain. Do you feel Sirius Black is in England? Nod yes or no. Ok, he is in England, if you get Sirius here I will destroy the locket that Regulus ordered you to destroy, do we have an agreement?" Kreacher looked surprised at me, nodded and popped out. After a minute Kreacher popped in with a shaggy dog.
"Thank you Kreacher, you did a great job for House Black you can bring the locket here if Warrior Ragnar gives permission. Sirius change please I need Lord Black here." Sirius transformed into his human form while looking around. Ragnar gave Kreacher permission to get the locket.
I began explaining to Sirius what was going on in school and in here.
"Now Sirius, you are the current Lord Black, it is time you use that power to our advantage."
Sirius: "I don't want to be bloody Lord Black. Why do you think I ran away from home?"
"Well, someone needs to be one, or do you rather want the Malfoy of spring gets the ring?"
Sirius: "I made you my heir Harry, he would never get the ring, how about I make you the lord?"
"Are there any marriage contracts involved?" I have to be careful or I end up again with a bed full of women. The Black account manager was called in with all the contracts of House Black.
Granny whispered: "Scarhead happens to be also the account manager of Malfoy." I could kiss granny, but didn't risk it, she still has her cane close by.
"Scarhead, you are also the Malfoy account manager, I happened to be his lord, he swore fealty to House Slytherin, which I am now the Lord of, he breached his vassal vow by declaring me his enemy and tried line theft on House black. I hereby call in all debts due to house Black and as Lord Slytherin, I revoke his Lordship of House Malfoy I want the contents of his vaults as compensation. Now that I am at it, I do the same to House Flint and the other Houses that are holding House Davis down. By abusing the future Lady Slytherin, they lost the right at their Lordships, and I want the contents of their vaults and all their goods as compensation.
Granny: "Basiliskslayer, remind me to never make you mad, I suspect you have some Goblin blood in you."
"Granny, I would be honored to be related to you. Thank you for the warning, you may have 20% of the profits from the pensive viewings." reward the good ones and crush the baddies. Calmly I took Hermione and let her take my other arm, this one was numb. I was in luck, no marriage contracts with the Carrows. We cleared the room and they put me in the middle, granny and some other cronies started to wave their daggers, Sirius had to hold Hermione back thinking I was getting skinned. I felt the blocks getting removed, all that was left was the Horcrux, Granny said to wait a few days to recuperate.
Kreacher: "This be the locket master." I looked at granny for permission after her nod I placed the locket in the middle. I knew what was coming now.
§open up§ The locket opened, again the same scene, six girls staring at me, I was prepared, before they could say a word I dosed the locket with the hottest flames I could imagine with the Hallow wand.
Some black smoke and a scream, one Horcrux less in the world. Now I had a weeping Kreacher on one side and a weeping Hermione on the other.
Ragnar: "That were powerful flames Basiliskslayer, almost dragon flames. We will gather all information about the Houses currently involved with House Davis, a summary of your Houses will also be ready by then. Lord Black, is it your intention to give the Lordship to Heir Black?"
Sirius: "Yes Warrior Ragnar, he can have it, those years in Askaban, made me unfit for it anymore."
Ragnar: "Heir Black, claim the Lordship of house Black in the presence of the current Lord."
"I Harry James Potter, Heir Black, claim the Lordship of House Black, in the presence and the permission of the current Lord Black. So mote it be."
Sirius: "I Sirius Orion Black grant the Lordship of House Black to my Heir Harry James Potter. So mote it be." I got the Black ring. While I am at it, let us do the Potter one too, I made my intentions clear, and with Ragnar's permission, I got the light show from house potter, and the ring too. Bloody hell I was raking the Lordships in again.
"Kreacher, return to the house with Sirius and tell the tale of Regulus and the locket to him, try to make your peace with Sirius, and Sirius, don't be so hard on Kreacher, I will send Dobby and Winky to help clean the House."
Blooddagger: "We will have everything ready by tomorrow after diner Basiliskslayer."
Dobby popped me and Hermione back to Hogwarts, in Slytherins' chambers.
"Dobby thank you, can you bring Winky here?"
We took a seat on a couch, the other girls were seated around us, Hermione was stuck like glue on my side. Dobby popped in with Winky, the poor thing was in pretty bad shape, already on her sixth butterbeer, I guess.
"Winky, Dobby said you are unhappy and want a proper family to take care of, Do you want to join my family in House Potter? This will mean no more drinking."
Winky: "You want bad Winky? Winky is not worthy of a proper family."
"Yes I want you Winky, look around you, these are my ladies to be, we need proper elves to take care of their needs, and I want you to be one of them, so Winky, I Lord Harry James Potter ask the house-elf Winky to be a part of our family, House Potter, do you accept?"
Winky shaking: "Winky wants to be a part of House Potter."
"So mote it be." And we got another girl… Elf.
"Winky, sober up and sleep it off. Dobby, go find out what other house-elves there are of house potter, but first, I don't like the look of those ugly pillowcases, take some money from my vault and by or make some outfits fit for House Potter, if you find the other house-elves see to their needs if it is serious come and get me." Both elves popped out.
"Miss Tracey, I took care of your family problems, by tomorrow every death-eater family that was harassing House Davis will be knutless and without their Lordship. I know you had a hard time and it will take years to come to terms with it, I offer you to be Lady Slytherin, with Miss Daphne Greengrass as Consort Slytherin. If you both agree, we will go tomorrow after breakfast to the chamber of secrets and claim your titles. Or if you want to consult your parents first, we can wait. Hoggy can you come here please?" Hoggy popped in. Tracey started to cry in Daphne's arms.
"Hoggy can you bring a pensive here? The Potter one, please. Miss Susan and Miss Hannah, you both agreed to stay? I can get Miss Susan to be Lady Gryffindor, her children will all be of House Bones because the Lordship can only be claimed with an act of valor including being blood-related. Miss Hannah, the options for you are Lady Potter or Lady Black. I did reserve Lady Potter for Hermione, but an in heritage test at Gringotts showed she can claim House Dagworth-Granger, so if she is willing she can be consort Potter, Miss Luna, I have consort Black for you if you want it, there is another option but I am hesitating to activate, it is House Peverell."
Luna: "I would like that, why are you hesitating?"
"Mostly because you have House Lovegood to continue, so I need a Lady Peverell, for the moment there are six potential Ladies, and I still need a Lady Potter or Black, so that would be eight. Don't you think it is a bit too much? Also maybe you are in love with another boy, and like to explore that option instead of having to share me with five or six other girls." Astoria came in from her room.
Astoria: "What about me? I would like to be Lady Potter." Crap I forgot she was here too.
"Let us wait for what the parents have to say."
The pensive was ready. I put the memory of the back chamber in.
"This is my memory in the chamber with the champions, sit around the pensive and put a finger in it."
They all dove in, they witnessed me kicking Dumbledore in the balls and heard me ranting. Gasping when I accused McGonagall of child abuse and with exposing Barty, all but Hermione looked strange at me as Croaker did the diagnostic spell on me with his reaction afterward. After we came out I put the memory of the claiming in the great hall for the ones that weren't there. Then the memory in Gringotts of me claiming House Potter and Black and the dealings with the vassals.
"Miss Tracey, does your family have a pensive?"
Daphne: "No but they can use ours, we like to thank you, Lord Potter, this was killing us to have to watch, and couldn't do a thing to help. If we resisted they would go for Astoria and Tracey's little sister Ursula. I would be honored to be consort Slytherin."
"Think nothing of it, Miss Daphne, I had the ability to help, and taking those animals down a peg or two is a bonus. Take this memory and ask your house-elf to give it to your parents with a note from you both."
Hermione: "What will happen now?"
"Send Hedwig with a letter explaining this situation, too bad it is Monday, say we will visit them next Saturday, it is a Hogsmeade weekend so we can sneak out. You can go over your options this week, and talk it over with your parents. It is late now, I will go to bed. Good night everyone.