Chapter 01 Hurting worlds

That feeling of suffocation, that burning desire, to go or not to go. To be or not to be, it's a tough decision, a dilemma. Kim hesitated for a moment, reaching out for his bag but he didn't think he was prepared for the world, at least not yet. He took a deep breath and clenched his fists calming himself and assuring that he'd be ok.

"I can do this" He said to himself holding his chest trying to control his thumping heart.

Students flooded the school laughing chatting making him feel different. He walked alone trying as fast as he could to get away from peoples' sight. He kept his head down and kept pushing his glasses back stopping it from dropping on the ground. He entered the lecture hall and saw just a few students getting ready for class he was relieved and quickly went to take a seat at the back with no one noticing his movements. The teacher came in a few minutes later to address the freshmen.

"Welcome to Bangkok National university, I'm your Counsellor and you can consult me for everything. Your seniors will put you through the basics so there are no classes today just socialize." He said with a wide smile as the students cheered him.

**I should have stayed back. Why'd I come then?** Kim thought disliking the idea of socializing. He grew up in an orphanage was really smart but he never got adopted. He looked slim so adults all considered him unhealthy and he looked to feminine for a boy although he was well behaved and obedient.

A bang on the table jerked him back to reality

"Oh my!" He exclaimed looking up to a three people in front of him.

"Aren't you going for the initiation program?" A beautiful female voiced asked him. He was so scared and almost didn't believe someone saw him and spoke to him.

"What? Is he deaf or dumb? The other girl asked.

"I think you should stop bugging him the boy texting on his phone said noticing that he was scared.

"Uhmm... I'd rather stay back" He replied trying not to be rude.

"Hey, let's go. The seniors can punish us if we don't turn up and we also need to meet other students to guarantee our full experience of school life" The first girl replied back flipping her hair

"Ignore her. I'm Mei, this is Chon and Ivy. Nice to meet you. What's your name?" The second girl finally introduced

"Uhmm.. Kim" He replied trying to keep his head as low as possible

"Kim! Well I'm obviously the sexy social butterfly and Ivy here is the beautiful smart one while Chon is a weirdo who likes charming ladies but breaking their hearts. We've been friends since elementary school." Ivy said happily

"Probably the talkative too. He didn't even ask you to tell him this. Come on Kim. Leave your bag and let's go." Mei replied saving Kim the stress of giving Ivy a reply for all her explanations. She dragged the resistant Kim and they all jogged towards the school field where all the activities took place.

"I don't think I should be here" Kim said starting to have a panic attack. He suddenly started to run back to class with Chon following then he suddenly collied with a hard body and fell to the ground.

"Can you open your eyes?" A tall figure wearing a facemask said looking at Kim's scrawny figure on the floor. He couldn't help but notice the tears building up in his eyes and felt weird for some reason. Chon quickly helped Kim up and straightened out his clothes.

"Come on. Lets go sorry we forced you." Chon apologized ignoring the tall guy in front of him. He took Kim back to the class and The guy couldn't help but remember Kim's sad look, it broke him.

******************************************************************************************

"I'm really sorry Kim, I shouldn't have forced you." Mei apologized seeing a sad Kim sitting at a corner in class.

"It's fine. It's me who has a problem. You guys can go I'll just head home now." Kim replied getting up and picking his bag.

"Let me walk you" Chon offered

"No, it's fine. I just want some space right now" Kim replied kindly declining the offer leaving three friends sad.

He strolled slowly trying to clear his head and calm himself then suddenly he collided with someone again. It was the same guy he hit while he was running.

"Humans don't keep their heads down when walking." He said from behind his face mask

Kim only stared at him, his eyes were so deep that he could easily get lost in it. He wanted to apologize and walk away but a force held him back.

"Are you dumb?" He asked rudely slightly hitting Kim's shoulder leaving Kim to clench his bag out of fear.

"Next time keep your head up. If you bump into me one more time, you wouldn't like it" He added then left a scared and confused Kim on the road

**************************************************************************************

He entered his room and fell on the bed staring at the neon stars glued to his walls. He recalled that voice he had encountered earlier and his eyes and he felt strange. He wasn't used to talking to people but today was the first day he got to make three new friends and talk to a complete stranger, at least in his head. He rolled over and picked up a stuffed teddy bear which he took as his best friend.

"He's really rude Phil. He didn't even apologize. But Chon and his friends are nice don't you think?" He said shaking the teddy

"Should I go back or just stay like I've always done before?" He asked himself hugging his doll tightly as he he slowly drifted to sleep..................

"Mum hurry up we're going to be late" The little six years old boy said to his pregnant mum hurrying to the car which his dad was already seated in.

"Okay okay I'm here" His mum replied putting him in the backseat and buckling his seatbelt.

"Get in honey. We don't want to miss our appointment" The man in the drivers' seat urged starting the car.

"Wow no one to back me up" The woman said sarcastically placing her hand on her round belly. They started to drive to the hospital road with the little boy jumping happily at the back seat then suddenly a car blocked their way and three strange men with guns went straight to them.

The boy screamed for help as one of them shot his dad dead and dragged his pregnant mum away from his sight. He screamed and screamed but no one helped him.........................

He jerked up from his sleep with heavy beads of sweat dropping from his face. He covered his face with his palms and broke into tears remembering his sweet parents. Facing his table clock the time was 6:00 am in the morning.

"I'll find you mum" He shouted trying to hold his tears but it was difficult. He got up and searched for his face mask then he stared at himself in the mirror for awhile before he finally wore the mask and headed out.