Meeting Him

As I focused my attention to my drunken brother I didn't really look at the person who assisted him. This was the first time I saw him getting drunk.

In my previous life, I never saw my brother getting this drunk to the point that he needed someone to help him walk.

He was continuously stuttering while saying 'sorry, little sis' and I was slowly getting annoyed. Maybe because I was disturbed from my almost trip to dreamland or because of the alcohol smell that I hated the most, I didn't notice that my expression showed obvious annoyance.

After my brother and his companion stepped inside I showed them to my brother's bedroom and I lead the way. I was focused on their movement specially their legs and was on alert just in case a mishap might happen. They were swaying a little.

When the man slowly assisted my brother to lie down on the bed, he spoke and I heard the voice that I wanted to avoid at all cost. It shook my entire being.

'It's him!' I screamed inwardly. My body started to tremble. I tried my utmost best to control my emotions that were starting to become unruly.

"Sorry, we disturbed you. I am Wang Jun Yi. I am your brother's friend. You're Xin Xin right?" He gently said with a smile on his face. He's a little flustered maybe because just like my brother, he also drank.

His voice gave off a slow melody enough that could send me to heaven where angels would dance and sing around.

This tone of voice when he's being gentle was the one that I missed the most.

In my previous life, before he disappeared, his tone of voice was different. In most cases it was embedded with frustrations or annoyance or maybe even hate.

"Ah,.. yes.. Nice to meet you." I responded timidly and avoided his eyes. I busied myself by arranging my brother to lie down properly.

"Uhm, you see... It's already past midnight...so.."

"Can you sleep on the couch?" I asked him without waiting for him to finish what he wanted to say. I knew that he wanted to stay for the night and my brother would also invite him to sleep here anyway.

"Of course, I can. Thank you." He answered. He sounded puzzled and even without looking at him, I could imagine his facial expression. I memorized almost all about him. I forcefully stopped myself from remembering those things again and focused on what's happening now.

I gave him my brother's extra quilt and shirt so he could wash up. I also gave him necessary toiletries to use. We always keep an extra just in case one of our family members decided to visit us.

I did everything without looking at him as much as possible. I didn't know but I couldn't seem to control my emotions every time he's around. I didn't actually know if I am excited upon seeing him again or I worried or worst, scared.

I could remember clearly the things that I did in my past life and couldn't seemed to calm down.

I have to constantly reminded myself that this was the first time we're meeting. I didn't do anything to him. Well, at least not yet.

I couldn't sleep. It was almost daybreak when my eyes finally gave in and I dozed off peacefully.

When I opened my eyes, the sun was already way up. I checked the time and it was almost 11 o'clock. Surprisingly, I slept well. I seldom woke up peacefully like this since I was reborn. Maybe because I was always afraid.

I went out after I finished washing and saw that nobody was around anymore. I saw the neatly folded quilt on the sofa. It was the one that Wang Jun Yi used. I knew that he's really a well-organized person.

After my second brother's death in my previous life, I lived with him. He has a small apartment with only one room. Though it was very minimalist, it was clean and well-kept. He let me stay in his room until I left to have my own place. I think it was also that time when I developed an excessive dependence on him that turned ugly by the time I moved out.

I sat down on the sofa and hugged the quilt he used. There was still a very faint smell of the man who was deeply carved in my entire being.

"Brother Yi..." I whispered his name. What should I do? I didn't want to hurt him again. Even though I was abandoned in the end, I couldn't change the fact that he was the only one who were there for me when all of my family members died. He supported and cared for me. He smiled, laughed, scolded and pampered me until I became extremely selfish. Selfish enough to destroy him.

"Brother Yi,.." His name gave me an indescribable feeling. There's agony and distress but there's also warmth and happiness.

I didn't even notice the tears spilling down my face. I felt that I was becoming selfish again when it comes to him. I stayed in that position burrowing my head in the quilt until it became damp for almost an hour.

When I finally calmed down, I smiled bitterly.