Chapter 1 - Her Death

[Chapter 1 – Her Death]

"Oh my goodness, honey, look. Aunt Qin's daughter has received a full scholarship to pursue a master's degree abroad. She's bragging about it in the family group," her mother scowled, but showed her phone to her father.

He read through the messages quickly. "Their life is set," he remarked.

The Qin family's pride, their only daughter, was going to study abroad. Study at one of the world's best universities. As a result, she will be hired by one of the top companies. Then find a wealthy husband. Have a healthy baby. Have this perfect life, all because she was accepted to a prestigious college.

At least, that's what her parents believed.

"If only you had studied harder," her mother lamented, but quickly dismissed the thought. It was already in the past. She turned to face her daughter, Ping Ting, who was preoccupied with the food.

Ping Ting tightened her grip on her fork as she cut the waffles. She preferred not to hear anymore about her ever-so-great cousin. The overachiever.

"Anyway, sweetie. All the best," her mother kissed her forehead. Her final engineering semester paper at a regular college was due today.

"You will get good grades. Then you too can apply for a master's degree," her mother encouraged. Ping Ting smiled at her mother as she got up from her seat. Her mother only wanted the best for her.

She took her bag and bus ticket. Did she want to get a master's degree? She doesn't know.

---

"Please submit your papers," the supervisor announced when the bell rang. Informing everyone, the assigned time for the paper was over.

Ping Ting placed her pen in a cute koala pouch and got up from her seat.

She placed the paper on the desk and walked back. She had done well enough on exams to maintain her 3.7 GPA.

"Hey, Ping Ting, want to come to the movie with us. We are celebrating the end of the exams," her friend called out. "I did not sleep well last night, I will pass," Ping Ting made an excuse, wanting to leave the building as soon as possible. It was stifling so much that she found it physically hard to breathe.

"Oh," her friend pouted. She knew Ping Ting was an introverted but smart girl; who hated crowds, yet she used to go with her now and then. But lately, she was avoiding all her friends. She felt worried about her friend, but did not know how to voice it out. It felt awkward to confront.

She watched Ping Ting pick up her bag and walk out of the room. If not for being her friend since twelve, she would not know a girl named Ping Ting existed in her college. She was so silent that many of the time- people forgot her existence.

Ping Ting let out a shaky sigh when she stepped out of the classroom. All she wanted was to head back home as soon as possible. Bury herself in the softness of her mattress, and hug her pillows to sleep.

She did not wish to face the world and remain forever in the comfort place—her bedroom. The only place where she felt secure, the only place where she could be her true self.

The world was a scary place, but so was her mind. In both places, monsters lurked.

In truth, Ping Ting had no idea whether she intended to become an engineer or not. All her life, she had listened to her parents and did as they instructed; she didn't know how to make her own decisions– all she knew was she wanted to make her parents proud.

Nevertheless, she felt lost- the feeling of not living for herself, but for others. She wished not to sound ungrateful for what they had done for her, yet she was getting tired of it.

Her parents were upset when she did not get into the best college. It was a mediocre one. They still paid her fees and encouraged her to complete her degree. She nodded. Whatever they said was right. They wanted her to be an engineer—so she will be an engineer.

The passive nature of her life had diminished her ability to make decisions. It was more like she was a puppet, listening to others.

She grew up in a loving family where her parents treated her well, despite the fact that she was unable to perform at her best. It made her feel even more guilty. She lacked the knowledge and confidence to express her opinion, but also she wanted to avoid letting her parents' dreams die.

At one point, she hated herself.

A throb of pain pounded in her chest, her head ached too. She wasn't sure if this was what she wanted in her life. She was tired of it.

"Watch out," the helper yelled, making Ping Ting break out from her thoughts.

Four people were carrying a delicate mirror mural, and she was walking straight into it, so she stumbled in order to protect it. Without being aware of her surroundings, she lost her footing and fell.

Her eyes grew wide when she felt her back striking against the metal railing of the fourth floor.

A loud scream followed as she felt herself falling. Her ear rang. Her body fought against the gravity.

She felt her neck crack, the painful tear in her skin as the blood pooled underneath her body. Her eyes grew heavy, unable to stay open.

A crowd gathered near the student's body. People gasped as they watched her fall; some yelled and cried. Someone called for an ambulance.

"Hello, one student from City College in the Guangzhou area fell from the fourth floor. Please send an ambulance immediately!"

A wry smile made it on her face.

Ping Ting welcomed her death.