law space over a cup of tea short story

Hubert sat in his chair as he looked around he seemed to have got to court seeing the judge staring down at him, a group of women crying calling him a monster all in sync, and a woman drinking a disturbing amount of tea wearing a red suit.

so um Mr judge can I ask what I am being tried for. he waited for an answer and the judge pulled out a long list and shouted Mr. Hubert dam...can't even spell that but you are being tried in court for your crimes, bread milk the small cheese cubes things....oh shit.

the judge scraped around his desk for the right bit of paper.

right, you are being tried for your crimes 2 unpaid parking tickets on the planet altha minor on May 16. 2089 hmmm a little small for a court case guess this will be a quick one.

Hubert sighs with relief till the judge said oh wait and you committed murder on May 17, 2089, hmm maybe not quick then probably just till lunchtime.

MURDER MURDER!!! cried Hubert he just shouts some more it was very helpful for his case to shout like a lunatic. the woman in the red suit stepped up and said hello good morning I am Tegan I will be the prosecution today so anyways we have proof of this man with very poor fashion sense is a killer this is a recreation of how it happened a hologram lit up.

it created a scene of Hubert in his house eating some toast and a fly buzzing by and with murderous intent, he casually grabbed fly spray to kill it.

Hubert was appalled he was in court for a fly. not just any fly said Tegan this fly was an advertising droid trying to just give him good deals just an innocent little fly wanting to make you buy things you don't want and you killed it I beg the jury at home to vote for this man to be guilty.

Hubert finally realized the whole film crew recording them Hubert went to ask why but Tegan drown him out when the sounds of her slurping her tea Hubert did not even know how much watching court cases had exploited on earth back in 2056 when earth's people realized every sport was just either a ball being thrown around or two people grunting really loudly or both giving a rise to real-life courtroom drama where the audience can vote on the verdict streaming 24 hours a day not on Sundays though.

when Tegan had finished slurping after 5 minutes Hubert asked why his lawyer as he was told he was to provide himself a lawyer if he had not till the case started he would have to defend himself sadly when Hubert was hulled out of his house by space police because of course there are space police he had no time to hire a lawyer before they knocked him out.

he raised up to meet Tegan's eyes to say, judge can you prove the fly bot would have offered me deals that suit me. everyone froze, you say it could give me deals but the bot could have been trying to swindle me out of my money who is to say my action could be seen as defense for my money you could say it was just me using self-defense. Hubert said the most bullshit excuse he could think with much confidence.

Tegan objected slipping more tea; you can't use self-defense as your defense. It was a small robot; it would not hurt a fly because it was a fly. Hubert thought really hard about his response and just said well my money keeps me alive with food and keeping my heating and this robot was made to give me good deals so in a way it was trying to kill me by taking my money.

Tegan smashed her teacup as the crowd roared with approval for Hubert. A comment man said what thinking I bet he agrees with my political opinions no mine another cried but another said it does not matter what his political or moral scope is he said something kind of smart so he must be not guilty.

Tegan walked by Hubert and just said I have not had a not guilty verdict in 20 years you will not be the first over a robot.

then a group of bottom feeders came by also known as businessmen and they seem to be building a robot the fly robot from then they just rebuild it judge we have a surprise witness the murder victim the fly got on the stand and gave his story saying he was just passing by and then the big human kill him spraying him and destroying his circuitry he was not selling him anything he was just trying to go feed his to kids.

and in a moment Tegan had gotten the crowd sympathy back Hubert thought about how bad this was there was no way he could get out of this no way to look good unless he could prove he was not guilty he just said he wish he could just buy space Mcdonalds or something fancy from Mars again the fly twitch a bit when he said buy.

an idea popped into Hubert's head and he decided to question the witness he just said so you did not want to sell me anything. the fly continued his story till Hubert said may I am so hungry you know any great food places or some tea. the fly got silent as Hubert went on if anyone wanted anything like a new laptop or Tegan you want a new cup.

the fly went off like a fire alarm ad after ad telling them about the great deals they have with skill gain the site you could get on youtube but get some famous person to say it.

Tegan then throws her teapot to the ground with the businessmen already calculating how this will affect their profit margins Hubert felt much pride as the judge said well it seems it is obvious that this murder charge is false.

Hubert smiled not for long as the judge then said then on the matter of the unpaid parking tickets on altha minor.

well you know those tickets are like 700 credits. the judge just sighed and said in that case the votes say you're guilty of not paying for your parking tickets. Your sentence is atomization. he pulled out a laser gun and fired, turning Hubert into dust.