Rebirth

"Hello, my boy."

Ow, my head. Did I got hit by a truck?

"Technically, it was a refrigerated van, not a truck. But it did hit you like a truck, going 90 kilometers an hour in a school zone, no less."

Wait... Did you just read my mind? *Squints* Who the (bleep) are you? Did my (bleep) mind censored me? ARRRRRGH!!

"Again, technically, I'm reading your soul. And language, my boy. There's no need for such foul language while you're here. As for who am I, let's just say I'm someone that has an offer you cannot refuse."

Stop (bleep) censoring me. And what (bleep) offer I can't refuse? And...

Why is it so dark in here? As if there is no light here. And I can't hear anything, Not even your voice. Where the (bleep) am I?

"You're dead. And again, technically I'm speaking directly to your soul. As for where are we? We're in the Abyss, where all the souls that didn't believe in any god gets dumped. A forsaken place, devoid of anything, even light. A place that existed nowhere and everywhere. A place that should not exist but yet it did."

"And well... let's just say that refusing My offer, will be leave you for a VERY long time. A VERY LONG TIME INDEED. YOU WILL STAY HERE FOR ETERNITY."

WAIT I'M (HARD BLEEP!!!) DEAD!? WHAT THE (BLEEP)!!! MY GAMES! MY FANFICS! MY LOVELY NOVELS THAT I'VE NOT FINISHED READING YET!!! I CAN'T STAY HERE. I HAVE TO GET BACK!!! (Incoherent bleeps and screaming follows).

"If you take my offer, I can make you not-dead. Oh, sorry. ALIVE, once more. That's better than staying here in Nowhere Land, right?"

REALLY!!! SOLD!!!

"You haven't even heard my offer yet."

DON'T (BLEEP) CARE!!! PLEASE JUST TAKE SOMEWHERE... ANYWHERE BUT HERE!!!

"Very well. But I must tell you of my offer. That way, you will understand what you will be doing. Not crying back every second because you (bleep) up! Now you've done it. I'm trying not to curse and you little (bleep) made me do it, too. I'm still not removing the censors.

Come to the the Dark Side, we have... (gagging sounds).

"There we go. Much better. No cribbing lines from a movie. And yes, I've watched it already. No, you cannot make jokes from any movie, TV, game or published work. Period. Don't worry, the people who made Star Wars Seven, Eight and Nine, are condemned to a fate worse than you are in now."

"Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, about my offer. If you take my offer, I will resurrect in another. Nope, no going back to your world. Not until you finish the tasks I'm giving you. And I'm the only one who can decide if you completed them."

(More gagging sounds)

"It's completely fair. I'm giving you a chance to live once more, obtain phenomenal cosmic power, and return to Earth when I release you from my service. You'll even be able to get back at exact same time you died. At the exact same body. But with all the power that you have now obtained. Sounds good, right?"

(Silence)

"Okay, then. Now I will give you three tasks."

"First, you must establish a dungeon. Not just any dungeon. A complete one. Meaning, you must establish a dungeon that caters to all challengers of any race, level and ability. Don't worry, your handy Quest Guide will inform you of everything that must be done. And by completed the Quest Guide also you completed all my tasks. Simple, right."

(A nod).

"Second, you must recruit 10 people to be the new dungeon cores. I will give you an ability to be able to see a person's innate abilities and compatibility. Including how compatible they are in becoming dungeons themselves. Those 10 beings that you recruit must be at least 7 Stars or more Dungeon Core compatibility rating."

"Third, you must clean up at least half of all the Nether in Ehritrinia. This is the main purpose of dungeons. To siphon Nether, which is corrupted mana, and convert it back to pure mana."

"Also I may also give out some extra tasks. Someone are mandatory, some are not. Do not worry. I'll reward you quite well for finishing these tasks and your main task, too. Your main tasks have the 'side-missions', too. Completing will also give you more rewards. And most of these task have completion ratings. If you get a higher completion rating, you get a bigger reward. The details of every task you get will be written in the the Quest Guide, so you won't miss out on anything"

"No questions? Oh, right. Forgot to remove the gag. Ah, there we go."

(Metaphorical gasping) And how I'm supposed to do all of these?

"To start off in your new life, I will give you three gifts. You will need them, after all. I'm not a sadistic SOB like Yahweh to give you impossible tasks without the means to complete it."

"My first gift, you will obtain the power of the System in Ehritrinia."

(Metaphorical Slack Jaws)

"Yes, a System. You heard me right. Your most fervent wish. Your greatest desire. No more dreaming - or daydreaming - of what's it like to have a system. No more thinking of what may be. And no, I will not bring about the Dungeon Apocalypse setting to your origin world. It's tacky and overdone.

"The System in Ehritrinia is not the same to the system you have built up in your head, but it's still a system, right? And not just the System designed for the beings in Ehritrinia. I've included the Dungeon System of course. Can't build that dungeon if you don't a system for that, can you."

Does that mean I'll be stuck underneath a dungeon like those dungeon core in the stories?

"No, you won't. You will not just be a regular, boring dungeon core. You are both a Dungeon Core AND a human at the same time. So don't worry about being a core stuck in the depths of a dungeon. You control both the core and your human body at the same time. A shared but separate consciousness."

Wow, that's crazy! But I love it!

"Why, thank you. Now, to my second gift. The gift of knowledge. Knowledge of Ehritrinia. How things work there. The nature of magic in that dimension. Yes, magic has variations in every dimension. Yes, dimensions. Plural. Yes, the Multiverse Theory is in essence, correct. Stop derailing speech or I'll be forced to silence you again. Good."

"Now where was I? Also this gift of knowledge also includes knowledge from your world. And I made it even better. Behold, Super Net. Access your world's internet without needing a physical device or even an internet connection. Browse the web, watch videos, have flame wars with people you don't even know. It even comes with a cool Augmented Reality interface."

MY PRECIOUS!!! DADDY WONT' LEAVE YOU AGAIN, I PROMISE!!!

Say can I play games with it?

"No, no online gaming. No gaming, period. Unless they can run in the browser itself. Boy, this is just web browser in AR, alright. It's not a (bleep) computer. Are you happy now? Back to the gag then."

(GAG MODE ACTIVATED)

"Now that we have don't have any more stupid interruptions, let's continue. My third gift. The shop. Yes THAT shop. The shop that allows you to buy anything - and I mean anything - as long as you have the right currency. You can access the store anytime, anywhere."

"You're not the only one that can access this. Adventurers that enters your dungeon will also be buy anything in the shop. Don't worry. Unlike you, they will have to enter the the dungeons itself. The physical store itself will be in the entrance of your dungeon. And the room itself is a freebie. So no maintenance cost. And to protect the dungeon I put a non-aggression geas in the shop. And no one can block access to the shop. Even you."

"Any questions?"

(GAG MODE DEACTIVATED) And what do you hope to accomplish with this?

"SALVATION."

"AND ABSOLUTION."