40. Back in Black

Back in Black

It was a slow day at the Loud House, Laney was quietly reading a book in the living room. Just then a boy came up and took a seat next to her.

Laney: Hello.

Boy: Hey.

Laney: Are you a friend of Lincoln's?

Boy: Nah. I'm his brother.

Laney: Friend of his... Oh! You must be Rocky! I've seen you around my school. Didn't really know much about you until Lincoln told me about your brother. Hi! I'm Laney, one of Lincoln's sisters. [Shakes hands with Rocky]

Rocky: One of?

Laney: Yeah. We live in a big family. 1 boy, 10 sisters.

Rocky: Cool.

Just as Laney and Rocky were exchanging greetings. They heard a familiar "sigh".

Laney: Did you hear that?

Rocky: [Puts down his game portable and looks around] Nope.

Laney pondered as Rocky left. She knew she heard that sigh before. Or at least she remembers someone saying "sigh". In a rather gloomy tone. Meanwhile, Rocky was playing soccer when he heard that sigh again, when he turned around the only thing he saw was Charles dragging his butt. Then up in Lynn and Laney's room, we see the person too shy to talk to Rusty's brother. The person who was sighing this whole time...

Laney: Lucy?

Lucy: Huh? Laney? W-What are you doing here?

Laney: Just wanting to see if you're okay. You were sighing an awful lot around Rocky. [Lucy blushes, Laney then realized something] Lucy? Are you- [Lucy covers her mouth]

Lucy: Shh! It's not what you think!

Laney: No need to be embarassed, Lucy. I know what it's like to be shy around a boy.

Lucy: Sigh... I know he's not really my type. But he's so- [looks out of the window] what's the word you guys use?

Laney: Loud?

Lucy: No.

Laney: Obnoxious?

Lucy: No.

Laney: Scary?

Lucy: I wish.

Laney: Um. Cute?

Lucy: Yes. Cute. [Carries Edwin] Don't worry, Edwin. You'll always be my undead soul mate. But until we're united, it'd be cool to have someone to hang with.

Laney: Um, okay. Well, why don't you try talking to Rocky?

Lucy: Really? But what if he doesn't like me?

Laney: I'm sure If you open up to him, he'll like you.

Lucy: Hmm... [To Edwin] What do you think, Edwin? [Edwin just sits there, Lucy pats him] I knew you'd understand.

[In the kitchen, Rocky opens the refrigerator door. He spots Lucy's container of fake blood. From that, he takes it. Then he closes the refrigerator door.]

Lucy: I see you found my blood.

[Rocky gets startled, making him jump and throw the container. The fake blood splatters on him.]

Lucy: It's my new recipe. Beet juice, molasses, and cocoa powder. Hmm. [Pulls Rocky's shirt.] Now it's got the ooze but not the splatter. [Holds out her hand] Hi, I'm Lucy.

[Rocky freezes for a moment, then runs away. He walks out of the bathroom.]

Lucy: [Holding one of Lincoln's shirts on a hanger] Thought you might want a clean shirt. [Rocky stops himself into a halt.] Just to be clear, it's my brother's. [Rocky backs away] I would never wear something so offensively cheerful.

Rocky: [Starts falling down the stairs.] Ah!

Rusty: Was that Rocky? Sorry, Lincoln, you'll have to finish the project. [Opens and closes the door to go after his brother]

Lincoln: [Walks to Lucy, who is sitting on the couch] What happened?

Lucy: I keep trying to talk to Rocky but every time he runs away from me. [curls herself up] What am I doing wrong?

Lincoln: Well, what are you talking to him about?

Lucy: The usual stuff. Blood, bruises. [Lucy's bats fly onto her head] I didn't even get a chance to show him my new embalming kit.

Lincoln: You know, maybe he's just not into that kind of stuff.

Lucy: Then, what is he into?

Lincoln: I don't know him very well but he just seems like a regular, normal kid.

Lucy: Regular and normal. Hmm... [Walks up the stairs] Regular and normal...

Later that night, as Laney slept. She was awoken to the smell of Lola's perfume. She sneezed then woke up to see the smell WAS Lola's perfume being sprayed by Lucy. Who was wearing a pink chiffon dress and lipstick?Clearly Laney needed to know what was going on.

Laney: Lucy?

Lucy: [gasps] Laney?

Laney: What are you wearing?

Lucy: Um.. I can explain. [Lola bursts through the door]

Lola: LYNN! You'd better not be using my perfume to cover the stink of your hockey pads! [She, Lori and Leni gasp in shock]

Lori: [curious] What are you doing?

Laney: I think we all should know.

Lucy: I-I-I...I thought if I'd be regular and normal, Rusty's brother Rocky would like me. Sorry I took your stuff. I understand if you're mad.

Lori: [stomps her feet] You're darn right we're mad! [Lucy is down; excited] Mad you didn't let us help!

Leni: Yeah, we've been wanting to give you a makeover since like, birth!

Lola: [comes in with a big cardboard collage of fashion models with Lucy's face plastered all over their own] I've been working on this Lucy vision board for years! Until now, it was just a fantasy.

Lori: [calls her other sisters] GUYS! IT'S LITERALLY HAPPENING! LUCY'S FINALLY READY!

[The others get out their beauty gear, Laney stops them]

Laney: WAIT! I don't think we should change Lucy just to impress some boy.

Lori: Chill, Lanes. We're professionals.

Lucy: Will this hurt?

[The girls all start giving her a makeover. This results in Lucy looking like a cheerleader]

Sisters (Minus Laney): Too peppy.

[They give her another makeover and this time, the result is Lucy as an 80's diva]

Sisters (Minus Laney): Too poofy.

[They try again and this time, Lucy looks like a fancy princess]

Sisters (Minus Laney): Too princess-y.

[One more makeover results in Lucy wearing hot pink and having blonde hair]

Sisters (Minus Laney): Too...PERFECT!

Lucy: [examines her new look with her pet bat perching on her head] Hmm...I can live with this. What do you think, Fangs?

Lola: [shoos Fangs away] Eww, eww! No more bats!

Laney: What?!

Luna: Yeah, and do not talk about mortality.

Leni: Or death.

Lana: Or ask him his blood type.

Lori: Or suggest a cemetery for a date.

Luan: And make sure you laugh at all of his jokes. Like this. [laughs heartily]

Lucy: [not even trying] Ha ha. Ha. Ha ha.

Lynn: Oh, and talk about sports. Guys really dig that.

Lisa: If all else fails, try a little of my patented pizza spray, scientifically proven to attract eight-year-old boys.

[Lisa sprays some on Lucy while the other sisters cough in disgust]

Lucy: Gag.

Lisa: Note to self: go lighter on the anchovies.

Laney: Lucy! You can't let them do this! They're literally asking you to not be you!

Lucy: Laney, I know you're concerned about me. But I need Rocky to accept me. And if this is the only way, then so be it. [Cliff suddenly attacks Lucy due to the spray and she nonchalantly screams at this attack and runs out of her room while passing Lincoln with his completed project. Fangs comes flying out and almost hits Lincoln and his project]

Lincoln: [confused] Who was that?

Lori: The new and improved, regular and normal Lucy!

Leni: AKA the future Mrs. Rocky!

Lincoln: So, that's how you're helping Lucy? I don't know, guys. That seems like a really-

Lisa: Oh, please. As if a male would have any insight into matters of the heart.

Luna: You just get Rocky back here, bro.

Lincoln: How am I supposed to do that?

Luan: Get Rusty to bring him. Don't you guys have more work to do on your project?

Lincoln: Nope. All finished.

Lynn: [smashes the project with her hockey stick] Not anymore. [Lincoln groans and makes it back downstairs]

Laney: Guys, this is ridiculous! Lucy doesn't need any of this to get Rocky's attention! She just needs to be herself.

Lori: Laney, in case you didn't notice: Lucy's self is literally dark and terrifying. Not something a real boy would want. If yourself was uber flawed you'd understand. [Lori pats Laney's head, Laney sighs]

[Lincoln and Rocky are fixing up the damage Lynn caused to the project]

Rusty: [suspicious] So, the dog did this?

Lincoln: Uh, yup. [feigning discipline] Bad Charles!

[Charles whimpers and drags his butt across the carpet in frustration. Lucy is coming down the stairs. She slips in her new shoes but quickly regains her balance and poses for Rocky. The other girls are looking toward this eagerly, but Rocky doesn't seem to notice Lucy. Leni signals Lucy to flip her hair at him]

Lucy: [flipping hair] OMG, Rocky. It's totes great to see you.

Rocky: Um...who are you?

Lucy: I'm Lucy.

Rocky: Oh. Uh...I didn't recognize you.

[Enter Lori dragging Bobby into the house while pretending to be on a call on her phone]

Lori: [acting] You can't make it to mini-golf? But we already bought four tickets!

[Bobby looks at Lucy in perplexity over her new look and Lori nudges him for his cue]

Bobby: [reading something on his arm] Oh, um, right! Um, maybe we should...invite two other people to come.

Lori: [gasping and acting] What a great idea! Anyone? Lucy?

Lucy: [acting] I'm supposed to meet my girlfriends at the mall, but...YOLO. [Laney smacked her head three times]

Laney: Oh brother...

[Lori nudges Bobby for his cue again]

Bobby: Oh! [reading his arm script] If only there was another guy to round out the foursome.

Lori: You're free, right, Rocky? [grabs his arm] Great!

[Lori and Lucy eagerly leave with their confused dates while the other sisters grin with hope]

Rusty: [hits on them] Any of you other ladies looking for a date?

[They all just back away upstairs after hearing that]

[Hole-In-Onederland. The dates are playing a game.]

Lori: Just follow my lead, and remember, regular and normal.

[Lucy nods. Lori swings and misses her ball]

Lori: [acting] Oops! [giggles] Boo Boo Bear, what am I doing wrong? Can you help me?

Bobby: [oblivious] But, Babe, you're on the Varsity Golf-[Lori hits him with her putter] OW! I mean, sure, Babe. I'll help you. [shows her] Okay, just square your shoulders and follow through.

[They putt together. Lucy tries doing what Lori did and hits Rocky in his knee]

Lucy: Oops. [tosses her putter]

Rocky: Ow! What was that for?

Lucy: I thought uh, um, uh, how about that Baseball team that played the other night? [nervously grins as Rocky looks on confused]

[The next hole, Bobby putts his ball through the windmill and sinks it]

Lori: Ooh. [chuckles and claps] Great shot, Boo Boo Bear. [giggles]

Bobby: That one's for you, babe. [pokes her nose]

Lori: Aw! [giggles]

[Rocky steps up to the putting position and hits his ball, making it fly everywhere in the course]

Lucy: Ooh, great shot, Rocky Bear.

Rocky: What? I totally shanked it! My ball went down a rain gutter.

Lucy: Ha ha. Ha ha. You're so funny. [pushes him]

Rocky: Ah! [falls into the water hazard]

[On the haunted hole, Rocky sinks his ball into the cup]

Bobby: Good shot, bro. [fist bumps Rocky]

Lori: [feigning fear] Ooh, this hole is creepy! Right, Lucy?

[Lucy is admiring a casket]

Lucy: Whoa. The Freilich 2000 with crushed velvet interior. I've only seen these in catalogues. [opens it up and prepares to get in]

Lori: [pulling her sister back] Lucy, no no no! [whispering] Regular and normal!

[When Lori pulls Lucy free, she accidentally hits Rocky who lands inside a coffin screaming all the way]

[Back at the Loud House, the other girls are waiting around for Lori and Lucy to get back. Lola is pacing the floor, Lana is adding her booger to Lisa's chemical, Lynn is tossing a baseball up in the air bored, Luna is playing a ditty on her acoustic guitar, Luan is reading a book, Laney was just sitting by the table, and and Leni is playing with Lily. Soon, their dating sisters get back and they're eager to hear what happened]

Lola: TELL ME EVERYTHING! TELL ME EVERYTHING!

Leni: Are you totes in love?

Lucy: [taking her pink shoes off; depressed] No. We are totes not.

Lori: Lucy, wait. We're sorry we pushed you so hard.

Laney: Now you see what I've been telling you!

Other Sisters: Sorry.

Lori: We got a little too excited when you said you wanted to be normal and regular, like us. But you're not those things. You're Lucy Loud. You're perfect just the way you are. And we love you.

Lucy: Sigh. There's no need to apologize. I know you were just trying to help, and I thank you. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go sit in the dark. That always cheers me up. [heads upstairs]

Lori: Well, Lanes. I guess you're right. You can take the girl out of the coffin, but you can't take the coffin out of the girl.

Lucy went to her room depressed at the failure of winning over Rocky. Laney came over to talk to her, and hopefully cheer her up.

Laney: Hey, Lucy.

Lucy: What do you want?

Laney: I'm sorry things didn't work out with you and Rocky. But the others were right. You don't need a makeup to get someone's attention. You just got to be yourself.

Lucy: Forget it, Laney. Rocky doesn't like me as myself, he doesn't like me as a regular, normal girl, he just doesn't like me. [takes off her accessories] Sigh. I was a fool to ever think it could work with a mortal being. [pulls out her coffin and sits in it in despondence. Laney sighs in remorse and leaves and bumps into Lincoln, making him drop his science project and breaking it]

Laney: Oops! Sorry.

Lincoln: Dang it.

The next day, Laney was at the couch when she spotted Lucy with her container of fake blood.

Laney: What's that you got there?

Lucy: My fake blood. I've been working on it since yesterday. Though, I can't seem get it look and feel like the real thing.

Laney: Um. Are you still sad about Rocky?

Lucy: I've already know that Rocky would never fall for a creep like me. The best thing for me to do is forget about it and move on. Now if you excuse me, I need to put this in the fridge. [Lucy walks over to the kitchen and puts her blood in the fridge, as she closes the door Rocky's shown to be behind it and for once, Lucy's the one who gets startled] Ah! [calm] Oh. Hi.

Rocky: [with sodas] Uh, hi. You changed your hair back.

Lucy: Yeah, the blonde wasn't really me. I was trying to be regular and normal, but I think I'm just gonna be myself.

Rocky: I'm really glad to hear that.

Lucy: Thanks. Well, see you later. [realizes] Wait. You are? But when we first met, you kept running away. I thought I freaked you out.

Rocky: To be honest, I thought you were too cool for me, and I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just ran.

[The two realize they have more in common and blush]

Lucy: Hey, uh, my coffin collection's in the basement. Wanna check it out?

Rocky: Sure. They'd be really fun. As long as I don't have to get in one.

Lucy: Deal.

As Laney continued her quiet activity, She sees Lucy walking to the basment with Rocky.

Laney: Lucy?

Lucy and Rocky: Hey.

Laney: Whatever happened to "forget it and move on"?

Lucy: That was the plan, but. I had second thoughts. [Lucy and Rocky smiled at each other and leave for the basement. Laney walks over to Lincoln and Rusty]

Laney: What just happened?

Lincoln: Oh, I just did a little matchmaking is all.

Laney: You mean that was you? [Lincoln nods] Lincoln, that was a very thoughtful thing for you to do.

Lincoln: Why, thanks Laney. [Laney leaves]

Rusty: [exhausted from their protecting their project] Can we stop? I'm feeling faint.

[The next day at school, Lincoln and Rusty are carefully bringing their project to avoid having it get ruined at the last second]

Rusty: Easy. Ah! Watch the pothole!

Lincoln: It's okay, Rusty. We spent all weekend on this, we're not gonna drop it now.

[Rocky and Lucy are right behind them with a container of fake blood]

Lucy and Rocky: Hey, guys.

[Both Lincoln and Rusty leap in the air and yelp while still holding onto their project]

Rusty: Phew. Good save, man! [highfives Lincoln]

Lucy: Sorry we scared you.

Rocky: We just wanted to tell you we nailed the fake blood recipe.

Lucy: We also threw in a few popcorn kernels for brain matter. [adds kernels]

[The sight of this makes Rusty pass out and drop the project, destroying it one last time]

Lincoln: [exasperated] Dang it.