Chapter 7: So Maybe There Is Hope

I open my eyes and feel the sun burn them. I feel a hand in mine and I have no idea as to where I am. Josh, him again. Why is he here? I stare at him as he sleeps by my side. Is it safe to think that he cares about me?

"Stop staring at me like that I know I'm hot and all but you can just ask if you want something ",he says with a smirk on his face.

"What am I doing here Josh?"

" You have been like this for 3 days Ashley and I'm happy you woke up I'll get the doctors okay. Just relax, everything's going to be okay."

I was left frozen for a moment and it took me a while to take in what Josh just said to me. Everything's going to be okay...nobody has said that to me in years and it feels good. It felt good to hear him say that.

The doctor walks in, which woke me up from my dreams and snapped me back to reality.

"Mrs Greene how are you feeling?"

" I feel fine thank you."

"Okay that's good to hear,if your friend had not brought you here on time you would not have made it. What you did was foolish."

"I know I made a mistake, I'm sorry. I won't do something that stupid again."

"Ashley listen there's a counsellor I want you to see until you get better and get over your depression.I know it may not seem like a good idea but it will help you."

"Okay ",is all I say. Not in the mood to argue. Even if I wanted to argue I dont think I would have the energy to do so.

"You may go home today.",he walks away but stops at the door.

"Ashley you seem like a bright kid don't do what you just did again it's not worth it. I know you said you won't but I am just making you aware of the fact that you will just put yourself into more pain."

Just like that he walks out.

I'm gathering all of my stuff together when Josh walks in.

"Oh so you still here?"

" Yes I am, now can we be friends?" Josh asks and sticks out his hand for me to shake.

"Hmmm, give me one good reason as to why you would want me to be your friend?"

"Well Ashley you are different and I'm interested to know more about you.I just saved your life,time to return the favour princess. "

"Right you might not like things you find out about me."

" It's worth a risk.", he says and smiles. "Fine then, friends.", I say and shake his hand.

I can not believe I just did that. I agreed to that, I agreed on being someone's friend. Waking up from the dead really changes a person. Yes! That's the reason as to why I agreed it's not like I am interested in Josh or anything.

"Your car is awesome by the way.",Josh states.

" I know, I reply. speaking of my car, where is it?"

"Don't worry I have been taking good care of her while you were away." "

"Thanks Josh, I really appreciate that"

Someone actually did something nice for me. Wow,seems like God is listening to my prayers. I wonder what will happen if I ask for another skyline? I mean I am getting a lot of kindness now. Something is just off about all of this or maybe I'm just not used to feeling this way. That's got to be it.

"Woah, woah...what did you say?"

" You heard me Josh."

" THANKS!",I repeat.

"Looks like you finally learnt how to be a little nice."

Josh and I had some coffee and then we both headed for home. I can't believe what just happened I think I made a friend. I hear my phone beep and notice that it's someone that read my blog. "Holy cow mother buffer cookie shit!" I didn't think anyone would ever read the shit I wrote.

Anonymous:Hi there, you seem like you going through alot of shit right now, i have a friend who's the same but I admire her, shes like proof that broken things could still be beautiful. Whoever you are i hope you just hang in there because it will get better:).

Me: uhhm Hi, thanks for actually caring.

Anonymous: No problem, just want you to know that you not alone.

Me: I appreciate it seriously.

Anonymous: I understand that you wouldn't want to tell me your name so I'll just call you cloud and you can find a name for me since you good at that.

Me: Cool that would be amazing.

Wow, I'm actually starting to make friends. I'm talking to people! I like whoever my new friend is. It's amazing because I can tell him anything because he doesn't know who I am. He can not judge me. I would feel so comfortable to speak to someone that does not know a thing about me. This is cool,it's actually amazing. I wonder who this person is though. Is it a Male or female?

It does not matter as long as I no longer feel like a loner.

I go to bed that night and I could not help but start pondering as to who this strange individual was that was commenting on my blog. I could not help but feel a familiar presence behind the things he was saying.

My mind races for hours on end and I start thinking about Josh,should I break down my walls and truly let him in.

Should I really try and be his friend or am making a big mistake by thinking that someone actually cares about me.

My way of living has always been alone,so that nobody could hurt me.

The more people you let into your life the easier it is for them to hurt you.

Well it's not like I have anything left to lose,so I guess I might consider taking a chance...a risk...and that's a big MIGHT.