Is It Over Yet?

Bhaltair loomed over me, ready to dig into my flesh with various different scalpel-like blades, each one with its own level of sharpness. The point of the exercises was to see how hard my skin had become, the sharper the blade required to cut me, the harder my skin.

I suppose to a certain extent it almost made sense, but I still couldn't help but feel like his hand slipped at least once, gouging me with a blade.

I pulled my shirt up to my neck, holding it down in front, and he did as he said, testing all three sights. My shoulder, my back, and my forearm.

It wasn't long before I failed as one sank into my shoulder ever so slightly. "Hm… Yes, I thought you would be around here."

He pulled the next knife regardless and tested it on my forearm, it still didn't cut. Finally, the last knife cut my forearm and my back. Each one stinging, but not cutting deeply at all. I was grateful for that at least.

He cleaned the wounds, bandaged them, and put away the knives.

"Your skin isn't all that tough, but your muscles don't bruise nearly as easily as they did when we started. Your pain tolerance has improved, although that was never an issue. Your overall body toughness is probably around, I'd give you a rating of 40 or so. Slightly above average for first years at the academy. In essence, I suppose that actually means that you pass."

He looked me over one more time, pressing against my back and stomach, probably checking to see if he hadn't done too much damage to my kidneys or liver. I winced in pain with every touch but didn't collapse to the ground screaming, which I imagine I would have done if I was in any serious trouble.

"I wonder what reward they will give you for this."

He made a face as if he was satisfied, and turned to leave, taking the bag with him without so much as a goodbye. As far as I was concerned, that was the same as him saying that training was over and I was dismissed.

The moment I knew he was gone for sure I laid on my back and stared at the sky. It was so clear. My eyes became heavy and my mind drifted away. Just a minute, I'll get up in just a minute…

Several more minutes went past until Mara Finally came out. It was time for us to all meditate.

I heard footsteps, and chatter. Then complete silence fell back over the area before Mara's voice started to echo through the courtyard. "Meditation is a tool you can use to fight the cold, the heat, poison, pain, and even fear. It all starts with your breath. Breath in, and breathe out."

I struggled up to a seated position. 'They're acting like I'm not even here…' Regardless, I joined them. I didn't consider meditation as a part of training, if anything it seemed like it helped me keep my sanity. A time of peace, where so long as it had not ended, no one would dare move, much less try to hurt me.

"Become aware of your breath moving through your body, your lungs expanding. Become aware of your body. The fabric on your skin, the pressure of your weight against the ground, pay attention to where you are right now and let everything else go."

I usually listened halfheartedly, trying to ignore her words as she spoke, but this time they began to eat away at me. All I could feel was the pain of my aching body. My bruises, where I cut my arm shooting my bow.

How was I supposed to forget the things that caused my injuries? Instead of my lungs expanding, all I could feel was my bruised ribs yelling at me for breathing deeply.

"Focus on your heartbeat, slow it down."

'Slow it down? How am I supposed to do that when it feels so tight? I grabbed my chest over where my heart was as it tightened up and my breathing only became more shallow.'

I felt a gentle nudge "Siya calm down, even if it hurts you should still try to breathe slower."

I turned over to see Lu, I wasn't sure when or how she ended up by my side, but somehow her presence was comforting.

I moved a hand to where she had touched me with her elbow, if anyone else had done that to get my attention it would have been much more forceful, that I knew for sure.

"Sorry did that hurt?"

The fact that she apologized afterward almost made me want to laugh. "No, I'm fine."

After hearing that she smiled and closed her eyes, returning her own focus to the meditation.

Instead of focusing on how my body felt, I focused solely on her words. 'Why did that comfort me? Was it because she acknowledged my pain? If I think about it, it should have had the opposite effect, she basically just corrected me. I'm the older one, aren't I? No, I guess that doesn't matter. I was doing it wrong so getting corrected is natural.'

From then on I let my thoughts drift, ignoring my pain and instead focusing on my sister. She was distant ever since she became old enough to understand the difference between our strengths. Before that though I liked to think we were close. I was always training, but when I finished she would want to play, or want me to teach her what I was learning. 'I hated it at the time because I was so tired, but… I miss that.'

…