Anastasia

"No, Jacob," I say eventually, "I won't be staying."

"What?" his brows knit in confusion, "why won't you stay?"

I have many reasons for not wanting to stay. I mean, I have given this a lot of thought, and I would have come back had it not been for Kierren's and Ralph's particular warmth towards me. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere, and I wasn't about to throw it all away just because the Alpha looked saddened by my decision.

If it was two months ago, I would have stayed. I would forsake any chance of knowing my real family for one reason only. Jacob. I would have clung onto the thinnest strand of hope, trying to find a way to make him see what I felt for him.

But things change.

It's as if fate led me towards that ledge again, and I fell there only to be reunited with Kierren. I can't question fate, can I? It's something I learned from Gisele when she saved me in my unconscious state, and perhaps saved me from myself.

There still is a lot to get over. Like Gisele's death. Even hearing it from it her wasn't enough for me to forgive myself. It's only from my half-brother's consistent sessions that I'm able to learn how to deal with the things I've been through better. From mother's death, to her mate blaming me for taking her away from him, to me blaming myself for what happened to Gisele. I had too much to figure out.

It isn't time for me to come back just yet.

"I've decided to stay with Kierren in Simi Valley. I'd like to learn more about my heritage."

"But -"

I wasn't expecting him to try and stop me, but I intervene before he does, fearing that I'll change my mind and stay back here. After all, what would the point be? It's not like I mean anything more to Jacob. The only reason he's trying to question why I won't stay is because he probably feels guilty about all the things he's said. And he remembers that there was a time when we lived under the same roof, and he probably did care for me before the fated mate thing drew his attention towards his responsibilities as the Alpha.

I don't blame him. In fact, if he had to ask for my forgiveness for everything he's said, I would forgive him in a heartbeat. Maybe I already have, and I'd just get cheer from Ralph for this being another step in the right direction.

"I've already made up my mind. That's why we're here."

"We had to wait until she was fully recovered," Kierren explains, "and it's given her time to think about what she wants."

"Is this really what you want, Ana?" Jacob goes on. "Are you really leaving Blood Moon?"

I'm about to reply, when Kierren stands up and addresses the Beta. "Tell me, son, can you show me to the restroom," he rubs his belly and chuckles, "this old man has had too much liquids."

"The one down in the den is broken. We could go up to Jacob's place, if you want."

There's something in the way both of them look at each other, as if this is some grand scheme between them. It's confirmed when Kierren nods at Derek, and they leave Jacob and I alone.

I find my nervousness returning as I wring my hands together under the table. There's so much that's been said, and so much that hasn't, that I'm not even sure where to begin. Luckily, Jacob seems to know, and the first thing he does is plead with me.

"Don't go, Ana. This is your home, the place you've grown up in. Why would you want to leave?"

His pleading eyes are too much for me to handle, and I stand up and walk over to the window, watching Derek lead my father back to Jacob's place. Hugging my chest, I look way beyond his house towards the cottage I used to live in, and recall why I lived there in the first place.

Because Jacob found his fated mate. And because of me, she's no longer around. How do I live with that, here of all places? I was only learning how to overcome the things I've been through because I was in a different place - a place where I really felt like I was home. This was never my home, after all. And perhaps it's my mother's ties to Simi Valley and the Moon Valley Tribe that makes me feel wanted there.

"I have to go back with Kierren," I sigh, "it's what's best for me."

Behind me, I hear his chair as it drags across the wooden floor. "What about me, Ana? What about how I feel about this?"

Frowning at my reflection in the tinted glass, I feel awareness course down my spine as his footsteps come closer.

"I already know how you feel, Jacob. And I'm sorry for what happened to Gisele. I truly am, but -"

"That's not what I mean, Ana. It's got nothing to do with her."

"But it has everything to do with her!" I spin on my heel to face him, but stumble back when I find him only a few feet away. "It was my fault for leading her out to the ravine, for convincing her that if I could make the jump, so could she! It's all my fault, and you hate me for it!"

"I don't hate you, Ana, I -"

"Of course you do! You've said it so many times, it's been branded in my head!" I repeatedly prod my temple with my index. "But don't you think I knew that already? I was the one who watched her fall, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to save her," a sob lodges in my throat, but I gulp it down, "absolutely nothing!"

Jacob steps up and grabs me by the shoulders again, and I feel like a ragdoll being shaken by a petulant child. "Listen to me!" his voice is commandingly firm, "I don't blame you, okay? I've been to that ravine every single fucking day since you fell, and I know it wasn't your fault! How can I blame you for something that was out of your control?!"

"I was the one who led her there, told her she can jump because I could."

"And how would you have known that you had Alpha blood in you, huh? Do you think you know everything?"

"I know -"

"No, you don't!" he shouts, "you don't know how much you mean to me! You don't know that I've spent every single day looking over that ledge for you! Praying I would find you to tell you that I love you! Because I love you, Anastasia Blye!"

He stops shaking me, but I still feel my body trembling, my mind reeling from what I've just heard him say.

He loves me? I wouldn't have believed it if he didn't let go of me, and instantly drop to his knees where his hands hesitantly find the dips of my hips. He looks up, his eyes glistening with moisture. "Forgive me, Ana. Forgive me for everything I've said and done to hurt you. I never wanted to. You were the only one there, the only one I associated the pain with. But nothing hurt me more than losing you."

I can't see him like this. Not the strongest Alpha I know, not the man I love. I sink to the ground in front of him, taking his face in both my hands. "There's nothing to forgive, Jacob. I blamed myself for her death, even if you didn't. I still blame myself to this day."

"It's not your fault. Believe that."

His hands slide up my arms and settle on either side of my face. The heaviness that I still felt is lifted, even if there's a residual guilt still lingering above my head. This man, this Alpha, was the fated mate to my best friend. I can't do this. I can't.

I break the silence to try and lighten the mood, and take my hands off him. "By the way, it's Hemming. Anastasia Hemming, my father's last name."

Jacob chuckles, "Anastasia Hemming, huh?"

"Yup!"

"Well," Jacob slips his hand around my nape and draws me closer. "I'm gonna kiss you now, Anastasia Hemming."

Impulsively I tilt my head, my eyelids shutting on their own accord, my lips parting on a sigh. This is the moment I had always dreamt of, and as soon as I feel the heat of his breath fan my face, I'm sent into overdrive. Maybe it's the strong will of the Alpha blood that demands I steer the reins of my life. So I grab his face and pull him in, uniting our lips in the most heady kiss.

His tongue pleads for entry, and when granted he's free to explore my mouth, his fingers weaving into the fiery locks of my hair. The kiss deepens as our tongues dance for dominance, but I feel like I'm about to combust. I moan on his lips, and we reluctantly break apart only to catch our breaths and stop our hearts from beating right out of our chests. His voice is hoarse, laced with desire and the essence of our passion when he repeats the words I've only ever dreamt I'd hear him say.

"I love you, Anastasia Hemming."