My mind is spiraling down a dark, confusing path as I recover in my Healer's clinic bed. My memory starts on that fateful day and then merges all the events in my life's never-ending series of torture.
My pain and weak Omega are not recovering as expected. My weakened state causes me to fall in and out of consciousness. The darkness pulls me under before pushing me back into the light, and I gasp for air as the cycle continues.
Today was no different. As the nurses came to assess my still weak body,
"Shame imagine not being wanted by your mate," one says.
"Something must be wrong with her if he doesn't even come and visit her," another says.
"If she were my mate I would just reject her," their voices merge making it hard to focus on a particular one. My head spins from the sound of it. My eyes were open and closed as my nightmare pulled me under.
The air feels thick as it enters my lungs, leaving me gasping for more air. My vision is blurry as I look for familiarities around me.
I was in my cottage; I lost my footing as a crack in the floor splits, creating a vast chasm forming. I carefully crawl forward, creeping closer, taking tentative steps so I don't plummet down the cavity.
"Jump it, you will make it," a voice says, causing me to look up from the black depth separating us.
I see Gisele, a teasing smile on her face as she waits for me on the other side of the chasm, her arms over her chest.
"Gisele, what are you doing?" I ask, not understanding why we are in my cottage and why she is asking me to jump to her.
"Jump Ana," she repeats. "I'll catch you!"
The words send guilt through me, penetrating my skin, causing me to grimace.
I take a few steps back before running towards her, jumping. I land my feet on the edge as my arms reach out, swinging wildly to regain balance. I stare at Gisele, watching her face morphing into the pale lifeless form.
"Told you, you would make it," she says, water coming out of her mouth as the words leave her. I fall back into the darkness and it encases me.
I hear the machines beeping before I open my eyes. The bright lights cause me to groan as pain shoots through my head. I feel something heavy in my hand.
When I look down, I see Jacob's lying on our hands, his snores filling the air. I stare at him. His face looks young as he lets his worries escape him. His hair is messy, his body seems small as he relaxes his shoulders. He is sleeping peacefully next to me.
"We need to ensure…" I hear him say. I check to make sure he isn't awake and I smile at the fact that he talks in his sleep. His duties always with him in everything he does. I focus on our hands and the way his larger one encases mine.
His hand over mine provides comfort as he gently squeezes it in his sleep. Whether he does it to ensure I am comfortable or if he does it to ease his mind, I am not sure. Instead, I embrace the feeling, letting it provide a rhythmic comfort as I fall back asleep.
I interlocked my hand with something. I look down to notice the hand in it. The hand is heavy and full of sores. Some are bleeding while others are scabbing over. I pull my hand away with disgust, my skin shivering as I feel like bugs are swarming over me. I hear a groan, a voice muttering something. Against my better judgment, I move my head closer to where the hand is, trying to see what is hiding in the darkness.
"Why did you do that?" a garbled, unrecognizable voice says.
A head comes into clear view.
A scream leaves my mouth as I stumble backwards. A root catching my foot as I fall backwards. I gasp and watch the hideously disfigured thing walk towards me.
The creature was covered in juxtaposed patches of fur and patches of skin full of oozing sores. The creature has been tortured.
I shake my head and look at the head. My hands fly up to my mouth, covering it. Jacob's blue eyes stare at me with anger and hurt. His face is full of sores, mutating it into a grotesque image.
"Why did you have to hurt her, Anastasia? Why did you have to hurt me?" he asks. His feet carried him towards me slowly, showcasing his pain in every movement.
"I'm sorry," I say, sobbing as I close my eyes, not wanting to see the pain I had caused him. Guilt washing over me.
"I didn't mean to hurt her," I hear a painful groan before I just hear a constant whooshing in my ears.
I hear the water crashing against rocks, some rocks crumbling under the force of the water thrashing against them. The wind blows through the large crevice, carrying the sickly sweet smell of salt up and out of the ravine.
My head swirls around, to see if the grotesque form of Jacob is behind me or hiding nearby, prepared to scare me. When I see nothing, I focus on the smell.
I love it. I take several deep breaths as I fill my lungs up with fresh air, trying to get the nausea to disappear.
A growl behind me causes me to jump. I glance around to see the wolf, her teeth exposed as she waits, ready to attack. I quickly move onto my knees, facing the wolf, trying to be small and non-threatening. Her growls increase. A warning.
I try to shift, but nothing happens. Instead, I stare helplessly as the wolf pounces towards me. I move backwards, falling down the ravine, my heart beating in my ears as I fall. I wait for the water to wash me away and rid me of the earth, like it does all sins.
"Ana?" I hear from a distance. The hand is pulling me out of the darkness as warmth floods my body. Comfort engulfs me as I look up to see Derek.
His eyes were full of worry. His hand drops off mine as he notices I am awake.
"Are you okay?" he asks as he retreats to the corner of the room, sitting down and watching me.
I nod my head in reply, confused by him being her.
"Why are you here?" I ask, I stare at him as I wait for an answer. Instead he just slouches in the chair. His eyes closed.
"Get some sleep, Ana," he says, leaving me to stare at him.
His presence calmed my beating heart, allowing me to breathe. I feel the guilt seep out of me as I focus on how close my mate is. I let his presence lull me to sleep. Feeling protected, I close my eyes.
After a moment of peace, my mind tortures me again, making me flash in and out of reality. The world is upside down, with my mind playing tricks on me.
I'm running in the forest, the leaves crunching beneath my feet as I weave through trees. Giggles escaping my mouth as I hear the footsteps behind me. Keeping up as we run through the trees, weaving past them with ease as we focus on our game.
My mind flashes back to the image of Jacob staring at me as his face distorts with anger and hurt. His eyes staring into mine as he growls at me.
"Why are you such a burden?"
"Jacob, Jacob? I'm not your burden!" I say., spinning around.
"Why can't you just stop causing problems," Jacob says, his voice coming from different points around me. Confusing me as I try to identify it.
I'm back in the forest now. I can hear the river rushing below me again. I see a flash of something blonde as I turn around. A piercing scream fills my ears as I look down into the ravine.
"Gisele!" I scream, jumping in after her.
I crash into the water, the coldness seeping through my bones, shocking me. As I surface and open my eyes, I am in the bathroom at school. Derek is in front of me, his face twisted into disgust as he points at me.
"I could never love you!" he says, laughing as the words leave his mouth.
"Ana, wake up," the voice says.
I feel my body shaking as I look around. I feel the blows hitting my skin as if I were back in the alley with Medeia's lackeys. With a blow to my stomach, I open my eyes. I look around, searching for something.
A blow to my back sends me whirling around. A stinging sensation moves across my arm. I stare at the blood leaving my body. As I cry; tears rolling down my cheeks; out; I see the red liquid dripping onto my shirt. I scream when I notice my red tears.
I shoot up in bed, my hands reaching up to touch my wet face. As I bring them down, looking them over to ensure the blood tears aren't real. I feel arms wrap around me, comforting me.
"Ana, sweetheart, it was just a dream," Jacob's voice pierces through my blurry mind. I push him back. I stare at him. Relief fills me at the sight of a healthy version of Jacob. His skin was normal and his eyes were full of worry.
"What's going on?" I ask, my voice hoarse and low.
"Ana, it's been a week. You have been in and out of consciousness," Jacob says. He is concerned for my well-being.
I don't believe him. I look away from him and focus on the wall behind him. Trying to decide if this is real or not, but as I try to get my brain to focus, I feel confused and conflicted.
I continue to stare at the corner. A figure sitting in the chair, catching my attention. Something in her hand glimmers in the light as a sickening laughter leaves her mouth. A sickly sweet grin on her face as she points the glimmering item toward me. She has my blade.
"First you kill me and then you go after my mate," she says. "That's low even for you, Ana," she continues.
"Gisele, I -" I tried, but it was too late. She firmly embedded the blade in my chest.
Blood blooms around it as I look up towards Gisele. I am screaming from the pain. Jacob whirls to look behind him, confusion on his face.
"Ana, what's going on?" he asks, worried that I am in pain.
My eyes only see the white walls in her absence as I grip my chest, where the blade hit. I look down at my chest. I don't feel the knife anymore. I see nothing. But the feeling of the blade piercing my chest still haunts me, reminds me of what I had done. Reminding me of the threat Gisele has given me.
The darkness swirls around me, pulling me under, and I give in. Knowing Gisele is coming for me.