Where I am

I jumped out of bed, lost, not knowing where I was. Tears streaming down, my clothes drenched in sweat and I'm gasping for air. I ran towards my sons room, and finally I can breathe.

He was sleeping peacefully in his room, and finally I felt myself coming to my senses. I quietly walked out of his room, closed his door and slid down to the floor, silently crying in the hallway.

It was the nightmare again. The same nightmare that's been haunting me for the pass 4 years. A beast with red eyes coming out from the darkness, piercing it's teeth down my shoulder, while the love of my life just stood there watching.

*Flashback*

Four years ago I was attacked, and it was the same night my heart broke. Why did Kane just stand there and watch? I looked straight into his eyes, pleading for help. Next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital. The doctor considered me lucky, a few more inches the teeth would of punctured my heart, or I could of bled out if it wasn't for a bunch of jocks finding me. The reasonable explanation was a wolf attack.

After I was discharged from the hospital, I went home with my parents. The first week of my recovery I was in a state of shock, then fear took over me. I was confuse, and couldn't wrap my mind to what I saw. Kane was there with a few other guys naked, blood splattered.

My parents didn't know how to help. They stayed by my side trying to comfort me by reminding me how safe I was with them. I just laid there on my bed, lifeless. I didn't know how to explain to them how I felt with my emotions everywhere. I felt scared because I was attacked, left for dead. Also heartbroken, because the man I knew and spent a year with just stood there.

It took a few months for me to start talking, and interacting with my parents. Then slowly I started eating solid foods, but for some reason I couldn't hold my food down. My parents being concerned, took me in for a checkup. To my surprise I was pregnant, by Kane.

*Current time*

I finally collected myself and went straight to my room. I looked at my phone and realized I had ten missed calls and 5 messages from my mom. It's 3 am, I immediately called her, not even looking at the messages. She answered almost immediately.

"Mom! What's going on?!"

In a calm voice she replied, "Hey baby, I didn't mean to scare the jeebies out of you. Dad is fine, I am fine. Dad had an accident at work at the warehouse. One of the bulk storage rack collapsed, a bunch of heavy boxes came tumbling down landing on his right leg breaking it. I called the first few times in panic, then the last few letting you know not to worry. Dads home now, he'll be out of work between 6-12 months, depending on his recovery. I'm sorry hunny, with holidays around the corner I don't think dad is gonna be up for traveling."

Finally releasing my breathe, "I'm glad to hear he's home, you surely scared me. I bummed about everything, you both always come to SD for the holidays."

I can hear my mom sighing, "I know, I'm bummed out too! How bout you and Jimmy come home for the holidays? There's plenty of room, and I'm sure that'll up our holiday spirit. Anyways you took the first available job offer without finishing your schooling. I worry about you both so far away from me."

As my mother bickers on and on about my life decisions, I completely tuned her out, my mind drifting, what would happen to me if I go back? I'm obvious running away from my life in Nebraska.

Living in California is pretty fast pace compared to Nebraska. As a single young mother, not to mention a college dropout, I often worry if it was the right decision. San Diego is beautiful and the weather is always welcoming, but I do miss the greenery back home.

Back then I was majoring in mechanical engineering. I had almost a year left, and I was interning at a major solar company in NE. The day I decided to leave home, I went to Mr. Finn and handed him my resignation. He was completely dumbfounded.

"Miss Kera, I understand you need time to recover, and I'm willing to give you as much time as you need. You're an extremely bright person, it would be a total lost for the company."

I had to be straightforward, "Mr. Finn, I'm pregnant. I'm half way through my pregnancy. With all that happened to me, I didn't realize it. I'm so behind in class, I'm at lease a year behind."

Surprisingly Mr. Finn took the news about my pregnancy well. He was reluctant to loose me. The original plan was to get my degree and run my own department. Since I was behind in school, he ended up offering me a position in CA. Right when I heard California I accepted without thinking. I didn't even know what my title would be or if there were any accommodations.

Luckily for me, Mr. Finn came through. I managed the robotic department, made $80k yearly, drove the company car, and had free housing. The best part, I lived in walking distance from the beach.

Coming back to my senses, I heard my mom asking one more time if I'd be willing to go back home for the holidays. I wanted to turn down her invitation, but I told her I'd think about it.