Chapter 16: A Night To Remember

🪻 જ⁀➴ ㆍ✿ (Pov switch; Jane to Victoria!!!)

October 2nd, 1956

Los Angeles, CA

I took off my shoes, stepping inside the house.

My heart raced, and I could feel my palms beginning to sweat.

 Jane looked so pretty. Her big eyes, framed by long lashes, sparkled like the prettiest shade of milk caramel brown. Her full pink lips and rosy cheeks made her look even more radiant. And her hair—gorgeous ginger curls that bounced with every movement.

God, I'm really in love with her. My cheeks felt so hot... how embarrassing!

 "Um... Tori... want to come to my room?" she asked softly, almost shyly. My face reddened further.

 "Ah... right—Your house is nice..." I stuttered, feeling awkward.

Dante made acting confident sound so much easier than it really was.

 "Oh! Thank you," Jane responded, a shy smile lighting up her face.

 She led me upstairs to her room, and I couldn't help but admire the vintage charm of her house.

 Once we stepped into her room, I was struck by its beauty. The pale pink walls felt warm and inviting, and her huge bed was adorned with little flowers. A massive closet caught my eye, and a bookshelf lined with intriguing titles drew me in.

 I noticed a book of Sappho's poems on the shelf, and a spark of hope flickered within me.

"You read Sappho?" I asked, slight excitement bubbling over.

 "I do! Her poems are so... romantic. They always seem to have a sense of yearning in them. She must have really loved whoever she wrote those poems about." Jane responded, looking like she was dreaming.

 I wondered if Jane knew that Sappho wrote those poems about other women.

I was a fan of Sappho's poems, too; they perfectly captured what it felt like to love another woman; "Yearning" would be the perfect word to describe it, just like Jane had said.

 I continued skimming through the books. She had 𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘢 too??? Maybe I'm not delusional after all and she really does like girls!

I glanced at the other books—Virginia Woolf, Louisa May Alcott, Emily Dickinson, and Jane Austen? This girl is gayer than she thinks she is! Even if Jane Austen and Louisa May Alcott weren't explicitly queer, its the combination of these authors made it undeniably so.

I continued looking around. She had a few photographs of flowers. She seemed to like lilacs. She was definitely as beautiful- no more beautiful than one.

"Did you take these?" I asked.

"Ah-!" She looked a bit embarrassed, "Yeah...I did. I enjoy photographing flowers."

"I remember. You told Priscilla and I that you enjoyed taking pictures."

In fact, I remember every thing she told us she liked. Poetry, flowers, photography. It's only three things she told us, but it means everything to me to know about her.

Jane looked like she had just got shot with Cupid's arrow. Her reaction made me blush too. We accidentally made eye contact and both looked away in embarrassment. 

I don't know why this took me so long to notice, in fact, it's quite embarrassing that it took me this long to notice, but she had a huge window...wait, no, they were doors. She had a balcony??? In her room???

"Woah...you have a balcony???" I asked, slightly amazed.

"Want to go on it?" She asked me, with a smile.

"If I may." I said, returning the smile. She opened the balcony door for me and held it open.

"After you" She said with a teasing smile. I blushed.

Damn it! That was supposed to be my job!!! 

"Thank you..." We stepped out onto the balcony. Small planters with lilacs lined the rails, and there were pots of violets in the corners.

I took in the view; Los Angeles really was beautiful at night. The city lights were twinkling like stars.

ㆍ✿ જ⁀➴ 🪻(Pov switch; Victoria to Jane!!!) 

 I'm sure Cupid just hit me with an arrow! I can't believe Victoria remembered that I liked photography! Tom can't even remember my name at times, let alone what I liked.

Tori really is the whole package! She's the kind of lover that only exists in books, and the kind of pretty that only exists in poems. I'm really losing it here!

 "You should invite Dante over at the same time that I'm here so I can push him off this balcony," Victoria joked, a hint of her usual sarcasm.

 "Oh dear... let's not murder anyone... I don't want a dead Dante on my front lawn." I replied back, laughing a bit.

 She laughed a bit too, a sound I only heard when she was fighting with Dante and came up with a smart response. I loved it when she laughed. But I also loved it when she was serious. And I loved her hilarious retorts. I love 𝘩𝘦𝘳.

 I decided to build up my courage and ask the question that's been on my mind for a while.

 "Hey, Tori- ...are you a... homosexual? You know... like...um...how Troy and Dante are?"

 Victoria looked very surprised. I hope I didn't offend or embarrass her. "Um- I'm pretty sure Troy is bisexual...haha..." Tori responded, a hint of awkwardness and embarrassment in her voice.

It kind of felt like she was avoiding my question. I hope I hadn't made her uncomfortable- wait... what is a bisexual?

 "Wait... what's a bisexual?" I asked.

 "Someone who likes both genders," she explained.

"Oh..." I wonder if that's what I am... 

🪻 જ⁀➴ ㆍ✿ (Pov switch; Jane to Victoria!!!)

I didn't know what to say. I might have safely avoided Jane's question...but why avoid it? She's my friend...or rather, I want to be more than friends- and we won't get anywhere if I don't put myself out there; just like Dante said. He may be annoying, but I'll trust him on this one.

"Um...anyways...I guess I am. I've never really liked boys. I hope that doesn't bother you-" I said, slightly nervous.

"Oh, no, no, no...I was just wondering. You know...I've been thinking a lot...about...you." 

I felt my face heat up. My heart must have been racing a million miles per hour. 

"About me?" I asked, in denial.

 "Yes...about you..." she replied softly.

 "Oh...um...thank...you?" Oh, fuck- why'd I have to say thank you!? That was SO embarrassing!

 It got silent for a few seconds. She looked taken aback by my response, but got over it.

 She brushed her hand against mine, and I felt a jolt of electricity.

 "Do you...want to kiss?" she asked.

 I could've sworn I stopped breathing for a second when she asked me that.

Was she drunk? Well, obviously not, but she must not be thinking straight! Well—

 "What?" I asked, making sure I heard her right.

 "Oh—! S-sorry... that was silly of me—"

I cut her off, grabbing the hand that was brushing against my own hand.

 "N-no, I do want to- um... kiss...you."

 "Really!?" Jane said, almost too eagerly. She seemed to get instantly embarrassed by her own eagerness.

 "Um... if you really want to, then yes, I do," I replied, my heart racing.

 "Alright then..." she said, gently brushing my hair out of my face with her hand. As she leaned closer, I felt a rush of warmth and embarrassment, instinctively leaning slightly back.

Slowly, but surely, she closed the distance between us, and then her lips were on mine. She smelled like violets, and I could feel my heart racing faster than it ever had before. I swear my lips were on fire. I can't believe Jane, the pastor's daughter, was kissing ME. The kiss lingered for what felt like an eternity, but was really only about thirty seconds, before she pulled away. We both stared at each other in slight shock.

 "You smell like lilacs," she said, a hint of awe in her voice.

 "And you smell like violets," I replied, still reeling from the kiss.

 "You remind me of a violet," Jane said, a flirtatious smile spreading across her face.

 "And you remind me of a lilac," I shot back, feeling bolder.

 "You did that on purpose! Did you want to smell like me?" she teased, her smile widening.

 I hadn't seen this playful side of her before. She always seemed shy and sweet, but now I was the one feeling shy.

 "As if! You're the one who pointed out that I remind you of a violet after I said you smell like one. I think it's you who wanted to smell like me," I said, adopting a slightly sarcastic tone. She laughed, a sound that lit up the night.

"Perhaps," she said, her gaze locking onto mine.

Then, slowly, she leaned in again. We kissed once more, and this time, it felt like the world around us faded away, leaving just the two of us and the intoxicating scent of violets and lilacs swirling in the air.

After that, we talked a bit more. Jane opened up about Tom—what a jackass he was, how controlling he could be, and how he got especially rude when his friends were around. She shared how he pressured her into making out, and how my kiss felt special and more real. "You make my heart beat," she said, her eyes sparkling. "You make me feel what Tom never could." It was a great talk, and I had never loved a moment so much. I wish I could replay this night every night. It felt surreal.

"It's late. We should probably get changed. I'm coming to church with you tomorrow," I said, dreading the long morning service ahead.

"Oh, right-" she replied, looking a bit scatterbrained. It was cute, really.

As we began to change, I caught her staring.

"Oh, my bad," she said, quickly averting her eyes and facing the wall, her cheeks flushed. How insincere! Who knew Miss Goody-Two-Shoes Pastor's Daughter could be like this? I rolled my eyes but found it amusing.

We laid in her bed on our backs next to each other. After a minute of silence, she spoke up.

"Tori—I'm confused— I like boys... but I've never felt this way about them like I do for you. Actually, thinking about it... I never really liked any boy I said I liked. I just wanted to...fit in? I... I'm not used to this. I've been taught that this is wrong. Hell is a scary place... I don't want to go there. But... I really like you. What do I even do? I'm confused... what does this even make me?" She turned to face me, looking confused.

I remained silent for a few seconds, considering her words. "Jane, I wish I could give you a clear answer. But there isn't one. All experiences are different. Being queer isn't easy. It's complicated and often confusing. You'll find out over time what really makes you happy... what's truly for you. For now, I'll be holding your hand while you figure it out. Don't feel pressured to put labels on yourself... it takes time. Being queer isn't about putting a label on yourself. Its about who you are and how you feel."

She laid back on her back and pondered a bit. "Alright...I'll be thinking. Thank you, Tori." She laid her head on my shoulder and put her hand just above my chest. She kissed my cheek and whispered, "Good night."

We both fell asleep. It was the best sleep I've ever had. It was like there was no such thing as right or wrong. No one else existed but us. This is how it should always be.